Hi, I know, this probably looks like one of those teenaged drama queens who broke up with her girlfriend and is now flipping her shit threads. Well, thats part of it, though Im not the drama queen, she is. Kayso, heres whats going on that I felt the need to post about and ask for advice: This girl, we'll call her J. So, J and I have been dating for 7 months as of yesterday, we're so close its ridiculous and I love her dearly, with all my heart. The thing about J though, is that she is one of the most moody people I have ever met and her opinions and decisions change with her moods, she is also philophobic (fear of being in love) and she says she loves me. However, J has this ex girlfriend S. S is a total bitch from hell, shes manipulative, obsessive and scary, J tells me she loves me etc etc and then turns around and says she think shes in love with S again and wants to be with both of us equally as much. Im scared, she already broke up with me a few times, then we got back together etc etc and when she did it destroyed me. J is amazing, I love her to death and I desperatly want us to stay together, but I dont know what to do about this whole.... fucked up mess.... :help: PS: Sorry for the exceptionally long post, or if its in the wrong section... :eek:
If this affects you negatively, do you really want to stay with her? She seems to be playing with you... If you really want to stay with her, then she needs to figure out her stuff right now and stop playing with you, since you said she broke up with you multiple times and she *thinks* she's still in love with her ex.
Im trying to get her to make a decision Im just... afraid of what she'll say. As I mentioned already, I love her to pieces, even just the thought of her breaking up with me again makes me want to throw up in heartache... *Sighs* I do really want to stay with her, she holds most of my heart in her hands, Im just afraid she'll break it.
I've been in a really similar situation so I know exactly how you feel (*hug*) And I waited for her. I spent years waiting for her. She came back to me when she was having issues with any of the several other people in her life, and said what she needed to say to keep me holding on to her, so that she would have someone who loved her unconditionally without the need for her to commit. And it sucked. It was really damaging to me, she's been out of my life for a year and a half and I still sort of feel that I'm not good enough to be with thanks to her treating me like I wasn't good enough to be with. Seriously, don't do what I did - if she knows she can treat you like this and you'll keep on taking her back, she'll keep on treating you like this, because she's getting just what she wants. I know how much it hurts and I know it seems impossible, but you really need to lay down the law with her, that she can't keep playing with you. She's not going to change on her own because in her eyes, things don't need to change - she's got two people devoted to her. If you don't make things change, they're never going to change. Feel free to PM me any time if you want to talk more privately - like I said, I know what you're going through. Good luck (*hug*)
Well, no matter what happens, its going to hurt like a mofo eventually. Shes shattered most, if not all, of my trust but... I still love her and want to be with her. It sucks, if she leaves me, Ill be devastated, if I leave her it may hurt her and it will hurt me and I'd probably crawl right back to her. The easiest and least painful way to do this would be to somehow get my heart back from her... but I dont think I can do that either... :tears:
Listen to Maddy, she's giving you good advice. Also, as the situation is going, it's best that you are the one to break it, at least you'll have some control. She feeds off the control she has over you- don't give her the satisfation.(*hug*)
Im taking control and telling her to make up her mind, but also asking her to wait until she see's her psych again and is at least somewhat stable (We both suffer from depression) So, hopefully she'll be okay with that. If not, then if she gets back together with her ex that girl is going to totally destroy her. God I wish she saw that at least... Thanks for the help you guys, its much appreciated. Ill keep you all informed. *huggles you all*
I think that Maddy's advice was top notch. I'm going to tell you that I have been there...whats worse I've been there with a straight girl who used my heart to play ping pong, volleyball and baseball with. Its the worst feeling in the world knowing that you love someone yet they treat you like crap. Dont let this girl manipulate you. You have to try and be strong. Good luck!
Thanks. My heart is stupid though, it aches at the thought of staying, but sears pain at the thought of leaving, literally shatters into a million pieces. I may be an idiot for continuing to try, and I feel stupid for hanging onto her so tightly, but I just want to make sure that she really means it, knows what shes doing before she does it and really thinks it through.
