1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

And the flood gates come crashing open

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by nintenfreak92, May 2, 2010.

  1. OMG!!!! So much effing drama!!!! So i get a txt from my sister saying that my cousin is telling ppl that im gay and that he heard it from my friend K. She tells me not to worry though that she has it taken care of. She had already txtd my friend saying that she is gonna beat him up if she sees him. HOLY SH**!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who the hell asked u????? So the best part is she has no idea what is going on. K would never say that, he has actually gotten into an argument with someone who was talking a bunch of crap about me being gay. So i call her and tell her to stop "helping" cuz its not, at all and my mom gets mad at me cause she is just standing up for her big brother. Which i think is BULL, the same girl that has told me on numerous occasions that im going to hell or that i will never fall in love because im gay. Yeah that's real love. So K retaliates calling her a f-ing b*tch and that she has no idea what she is talking about. So now the family is mad at me cause i obciously have control over my friends actions.

    What actually happened was K was talking to some other girl who knows im gay about another gay kid and my cousin overheard and assumed he was talking about me. So what's the first thing he does? He goes and tells my sister and my GRANDMA that im gay, so everyone can overreact. So sister freaks out on K as seen above, and i freak out on my cousin cuz he has absolutely no place to talk, and that he has no right to say anything like that. Come to find out, he made up some story about how he overheard them K and the girl talking about somone, and purposly told my sis knowing full well she would overreact and flip out on K. So i get into this big fight with him.

    And to top it all off Im planning on coming out friday on facebook, and i told my mom of my plans and she tells me that she doesnt know if i should cuzz then people from her work will be able to see it. REALLY!?!?!?! Im so done with everyone in my family. For once in my life i tryuly feel proud of being gay and i no longer feel scared of what others will think of me and she has to ruin it cuz "what will her coworkers think?"
     
  2. starfish

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2008
    Messages:
    3,368
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hippie Town, Alberta of the US
    Seeing as how you planned to come out anyway, I say don't worry about it.


    This is the big thing that people expect a reaction to. Just play it cool, and let it happen. That way it is a total non-event and everyone just goes about their daily business.
     
  3. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Save the drama for the llama.

    Tell your sister that you appreciate her concern, but you can fight your own battles.
    Tell your mother that you'll take her worries into consideration.

    Then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.

    See? No drama.

    Lex
     
  4. I wish it was that easy however my parents are trying to pressure me out of coming out, and their reasons make it seem like it will tarniish their image. Also, after talking to my sister she still insists that K can not be trusted and she still wants to beat him up. This exact reason is why I dont talk about any of my problems with my family because it seems like they are just like "O u have a problem, let me take care of it!" and they cause the exact opposite of what I want to happen. Like with K, i was going to civally talk to K and ask what happened, but my sister instantly freaks out on him w/o consulting me at all. And it happenns all the f-ing time!
     
  5. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Your family may be causing drama, but it's up to you whether or not to participate. Go ahead and talk to K about it. Start off by saying "I'm sorry if my sister freaked out on you - she has this belief that she has to shield me from the outside world." And, as I said, tell your parents you've taken their thoughts into consideration. Then, again, do whatever the fuck you were going to do. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  6. stevie

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2010
    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    tx
    family, aren't they great? it is always about them! I thought this was about YOU ! I agree with Lexington!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. Filip

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2009
    Messages:
    2,355
    Likes Received:
    105
    Location:
    Belgium, EU
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I agree with Lex. you know their opinion. Now just stride boldly ahead.
    When drama ensues, there's no way to solve it from within. Stopping people from playing "he said, she said" is just plain impossible.

    Your coming-out plan is well-thought-out. You've been thinking about coming out fully for some time now. Your parents obviously like to keep control, because that's a parental reflex, and this situation with you being only out to a few people is what they know, so they see keeping the status quo as the safest option.

    They can disapprove, but they can't ruin it. When you come out, you'll be out. And once their colleagues find out, and the sky doesn't fall, I'm sure they'll turn out supportive.

    Same with your sister. You know her position. Now just go and talk to K. and inform your sister about how well it went later on. When people see you take charge and deal with your problems head-on, they'll soon realise that you don't need to be protected, and that their help isn't needed all the time.

    Above all, people trying to decide what's best for other people isn't fun, but they do so because they want the best for you. However misguided, having a family that really cares is still a good thing!
     
  8. padre411

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2010
    Messages:
    375
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Southwestern US
    "To thine own self be true, and so it shall follow, as the night the day, that thou can'st be false to any man." - William Shakespeare.

    Lex is right. Do what you need to do.

    Peace,