Is being bisexual mean that you're gay as well? I know it sounds stupid but I'm afraid :tears: when I start coming out, I'll be called gay but I don't feel gay, I feel like me. I don't know, I guess for such a long time I've identified as hetero and this is such a new territory. I will be the only bisexual that I know of at my college and I don't know whether being a bisexual makes you gay or not. I feel like such an idiot.
As the joke goes, labels are for designer clothes. Labeling oneself "bisexual" simply means that one has attraction to people of both sexes. So if you are in a relationship with a person of the same sex, at that point you're in a gay or lesbian relationship. If you are later in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, then you're in a straight or hetero relationship. But you, in either case, are bisexual, if you feel attraction to both. If at some point you find yourself attracted to mostly or only people of the same sex, then you are, at that point, gay or lesbian (whichever you prefer being called.) But sexual orientation isn't binary or trinary; it's a continuum, so how you label yourself is really not very important. Does that answer your question? If not, please clarify.
Aww I can understand that its uppsetting, I would say we have all been there. It will become easier. As Cory said you dont have to label yourself, especially when you are first telling someone, if they are close to you they will understand your trepidation, just take things slowly and hang around EC and you will feel more comfortable. Oh and there is no such thing as a stupid question. Not that yours is a stupid question but I think the rule is: Better to be a fool for a second and ask than be a fool for a lifetime and not ask.
Depends on who you ask, I guess. My personal belief is, for simplicity sake, the "gay" label can apply to bisexuals as well. No, it's not (completely) accurate. But since bisexuals aren't (completely) straight, and they're interested in what could be termed "gay sex", then the "gay" term can apply. And if you've been attracted to another woman, or thought about doing something sexual with another woman, you've felt gay. Because that's all that is. That said, don't get hung up on the labels too much. It's rarely the label that people fear so much as the baggage. "When people hear I'm gay, they'll think X." And the fact is - maybe some will. But that's actually THEIR problem, not yours. Lex
Newbie here. Have barely opened the door of the closet. Don't really have advice, just wanted to say I've been asking myself the same question. I felt a bit silly as well, trying to find the best word to describe who I am attracted to. So not a silly question at all. I tend to use the word gay despite the fact that technically, I am bisexual. I don't like the word bisexual because of the emphasis on the sexual bit and because there are just too many negative associations with the word for my liking. I always feel like I have to explain what being bisexual means. But then I feel like I am not really helping the bisexual visibility cause by calling myself gay. I agree with the other replies and it doesn't really matter which label we end up choosing, but for the time being, while I'm trying to find myself, labels do help to make sense of things. A lesbian inclined bisexual...how gay does that make me? ;-)
when i came out a few months ago this wasn't really a worry of mine. i don't know, i had a strange coming out experience when it involved my school. but i found that a lot of people will ask if you're lesbian or is you like boys still. they won't actually use the term bisexual. at least no one i knew did. even after actively dating another girl at my school people still asked and people still didn't know i was out. i mean really? can you honestly miss the two girls kissing outside the cafeteria everyday? but hey, they did. people don't really concern themselves with your sexuality. it's not something most people will actively talk about. so i'm sure you have nothing to worry about when it comes to other people. and with yourself it just depends on your opinion of the situation.
Bisexual =/= Gay. I think that's pretty obvious. I like chicks and dudes. I'm pretty sure calling me gay is the wrong thing to do. Even if I'm with a dude. Calling people by a sexuality is weird and depersonalizing anyway =/
OP: in college you'll be reffered to by whatever your partner of the moment is. There's a bunch of gag shirts with some fun phrases that you might wanna grab for hilarity. "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend/girlfriend is" or "I'm not straight, but my boyfriend/girlfriend is" (<- tougher to come across) easily come to mind. If it really comes down to it, you could correct the person if you think it's not going to end up in a fight.
I'm not gonna lie, I've been guilty of using bisexual and gay interchangeably to describe myself because the way I see it in either case I still like boys. But bisexuality is distinct from being gay and if another bisexual tells you that they're bisexual you don't have the right to call them gay whenever you want. People have a right to identify how they feel comfortable and to have that identification respected.
Thanks guys for all your great responses! I've decided right now to say I am bisexual and refer that way even if I'm in a same sex relationship because that is MY sexual identity and no one else has the right to say that I'm outright gay.
^ That's totally cool (and correct). Just try not to flip out when somebody calls you "gay". Because they will. Lex
i often jokingly describe myself amongst my friends as "only half gay" if someone refers to me as gay.
