Hey everyone I'll just let you know my story so far to start with, as well as some of the conclusions I've drawn from what I've read and felt since I began to question myself several years ago. I'm a 17yo Aussie in year 12 in High School and I'm fast approaching the end of my school days. Lately I've come over with this great confidence in myself in regards to my sexuality and I've started to think about coming out to someone. Since I was 13, I've inwardly regarded myself as gay in a cyclical fashion, that is, I have periods of confidence followed up by periods of depressed feelings or periods where I just put it out of my mind and just not think about it. However since then I've come to realise that this maybe affecting my performance in other aspects of my life such as the fact that I'm quite inward for example, in socialising. Being part of the EC community has helped me sort out some of the many 'dunnos' in my mind. I've grown sick of all this uncertainty, I want to be happy for who I am, and I am gay. It feels great just being able to type those words...but its not enough, I want to cement that certainty in me or I fear I will lapse back into that deep, horrible closet that everyone here talks about. For months now I've been thinking about coming out and there are few days where it hasnt crossed my mind. So here goes... There is a girl in my year who I've been fairly chummy with for many years, I've known her since primary school and we've since become very good friends, and whenever I've thought about coming out she has come at the top of my list. I want to start out with a friend and she has always been understanding and happy and I think she would be the most acceptant. I almost told her last night but I changed my mind at the last moment and changed the subject, I now regret that I did this. The problem is I've come stuck on some of the finer details like, how should I do it? msn? should I wait for a good moment after class or a meeting? should I email her? what is best? Is there any other advice you can give me concerning what to do for first coming outs? I'm so knotted up at the moment, one part excited about the prospect of being out to someone and one part terrified of how she will take it and the fact that I'm telling someone my deepest, darkest secret. Now I know some of you may have seen many many threads like this before but let this be my cry for help, I fear that I may just give up and go back into the closet, never having had the courage to stand up for who I am. So there we are, my situation, my problem, is there someone who can help me with it? Thanks EC Bevo
Hey I understand what you are going through...I was there too! And it definitely sounds like you are ready. You can get a lot of different advice about how, but I always think it's best if you can do it in person for the simple fact that you can gauge the reaction right away and answer questions as needed. It's hard to find the perfect moment...it never seems to come! So you might have to make one happen. For example, you could say to her in the middle of the day that you'd like to talk to her later (after class or whatever) about something important that is personal. That's sets the stage for creating that moment--you will get her alone, have her undivided attention and she knows it's something important to you. Good luck!
EC is the place for you to grow used to the idea and the prospect. Use it as much as you can. When being out feels "normal" in here the prospect of being so out "there" will be much less daunting. (&&&) Since I am not fully out myself I can't quite tell you everything you're headed for. But for me there is a new kind of freedom I am experiencing having as least some people know who I really am. Peace,
I thought this sounded very familiar - and I was sure I had responded to it before. And sure enough I had! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What did you think of that advice? What works for you? What doesn't? Posting the same question over again will likey solicit the same answers. So what else did you want to know?
Haha I'm sorry, I guess I just wanted a variety of answers. Thankyou for all your advice I think it has helped me make up my mind somewhat. I have decided upon a meeting after class on tuesday is the best way forward, I want to be direct and I'm confident it will carry the most weight. So fingers crossed....
