My best friend and I spent a lot of time together for a few months. She texted me drunk that she had feelings for me, like she never felt for a girl before. She has a boyfriend of 3.5 years. Things escalated from there. She said that she felt so strongly for me, more than she did for him. We went away together 2.5 weeks ago, we slept together, kissed....everything. She said she didn't feel for him what she felt for me. Though at the end of it all, she was overcome with guilt. I had been hinting for ages that I couldn't deal with being "on the side" and it was tearing me up when she said she felt so much for me, but was still going home to him every night. So I gave her an ultimatum, after 6 weeks of our thing going on. I said I needed her to either leave him, or I was leaving her for good. She started the conversation with him, saying she had feelings for me that she couldn't get over. She then went to confide in two friends, both who have issues with me. So then, instead of breaking up with him, she double-backed and told me she needed more time. I said I couldn't take it anymore and cut off all contact. The other day a mutual friend told me, after I enquired, that she said she loved him and couldn't leave him for me. I was shattered. 1. Could she have suddenly got over her feelings for me? 2. Did I do the right thing by leaving, or should I have stayed in limbo for longer while she decided? 3. How do I stop feeling like crap, and rejected? Thanks for your time.
I'd say you did the right thing. She wanted her cake and to eat it too - and we know that doesn't work.
You definitely did the right thing. It isn't right to be aiding someone in cheating and there was no reason why you should be her thing on the side. As for getting over her, I guess time heals all and maybe some (*hug*) too. (*hug*)
1. Could she have suddenly got over her feelings for me? No, but you made her make a choice. And she chose her boyfriend. She probably still does have feelings for you, but those feelings are apparently insufficient to overcome her feelings for her boyfriend (and, perhaps, for "normalcy"). 2. Did I do the right thing by leaving, or should I have stayed in limbo for longer while she decided? I think you did the right thing. You apparently weren't going to be anything more than the "side action". There's nothing really wrong with that if that's all you want, but apparently, that WASN'T all you wanted. So I think you made the right move. 3. How do I stop feeling like crap, and rejected? You give yourself time away from her, and you find yourself a girl who wants you as first choice, not second. She's out there. Lex
