so it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride since coming out at school but the biggest thing that shook me the most, but really I should have seen coming was that I lost one of my closest friends, at least I think I have but that's probably just denial, let me just lay it down and see if anyone else can confirm my suspicions/what I've worked out So this friend whom I'll call B, when I came out stopped talking ot me all of that much, I tried to you know engage him in conversation, then on a scout trip we were in the same group and you know I honestly thought during that trip I'd managed to talk him round and we could be great friends again. wrong. he started completly ignoring me, like I mean a blanket ban on all communications. I say hi in the coridors and he looks the other way, we are in a group at scouts and he winds up at the other end of the hall etc etc. so does anyone have any ideas? I feel so stupid cus I looked up to him like a brother and if I'm honest I had one helluva crush on him and now I feel so utterly rejected by my at one ime best friend. great.:tears::tears:
If he can't accept who you are then he isn't a real friend. Sure its a cliche thing to say but it is only said so much because it is true. If he is treating you this cruelly and isn't even trying to be a good friend then why try to keep him around. I know it is horrible to lose a close friend like that but you shouldn't be friends with somebody who is just going to cause you more pain.
This is about him, not you. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like hell. I've decided to look at the pain I'm experiencing in coming out to what I went through after ankle surgery. Rehab hurt like hell, made me wonder if it was worth it but in the end I ended up with way more functionality than I did before. Lean on the people who love you - even if that is in here. (*hug*) Peace,
This hasn't happened to me yet but I'm seriously terrified that it will with somebody. But it really seems that yeah, if they don't like you after this, they're not worth your time. That's just what I feel. I don't think I've ever had a real crush, but yeah, that sounds like it would be a bitch to get over, especially if it's a friend that you feel you need. Man I'm sorry dude. He will come around.
It's possible - or even likely - that it's your sexuality that drove you two apart. But that's not necessarily the case. You've presumably drifted away from friends before. It happens. Keep the door open, but focus on the friendships that are still strong. Lex
In addition to what others have said (which I agree with), two other possibilities come to mind: 1. If it just recently happened that you came out to him (last month or two), give it time. He may be processing and going through the stages of loss and it will take him some time to come around to acceptance. 2. It's remotely possible that he's gay or bi and deeply closeted, and your coming out is essentially forcing him to think about his own feelings, and it's a lot easier to deny them (and you) by avoiding you and pretending you don't exist. I've seen this more than a few times with people I've worked with. In either case, time has a tendency to heal things and as much as it's uncomfortable, I think if you just give him some space, he will probably come around.
Connor everyone has already given good advice. I just want to say that I know how you feel. I lost a friend that I love very much and it hurts like hell. Hang in there! (*hug*)
