Alright, ready for a super long story/situation? Two years ago I went to Australia to visit my family there, and in Australia, I met one of my Uncles. My Uncle is well-dressed, good smile, fit, no wife (all my other aunts and uncles are married and have families), and has good taste in clothes and wines and such. I was like, woah, is my Uncle gay? And at that point in time, I was going through a "Am I gay or bi or what period?" so I wasn't like piqued at curiosity I thought he was metro, if not gay. And then my cousins and I walked around Sydney, we took photos, and I asked to see to the photos on his camera.I'm flipping through the photos, and I see a picture of him chummy with some other guys. I ask him who they are, and he snatches the camera back nervously and deletes a lot of past photos. Fast forward, I leave Sydney and return to Melbourne. And in Melbourne, I ask my cousin if our Uncle is gay and she's like 'yeah'. Then I was like, alright, thats cool? But why was he afraid his nephew was going to judge him? Anyways, I came back to the US and didn't pay much mind to it. Fast forward two years to PRESENT. Right now I've come to the full realization and acceptance of my gayness and I have recently been coming out one at a time to people (my English teacher the most recent one) since my fears are unbased and everyone is cool with it. I reestablished contact with my Uncle via email, and I really really really want him to tell me out front that he's gay or at least trust me enough to say it (he's out I think, he's like 40 and his facebook page doesn't hide the fact, I mean, his page links to like a billion gay DJs and he is posing with a drag queen in his profile picture). I mean, I think its SO COOL that another family member is gay and I really want to talk to him about his experience and stuff. But how do I ask him (via email) without the awkwardness? Do I just go, "Hey, are you gay?" or should I slyly slip in somewhere of my gayness (... message message and my boyfriend message message) for him to get it. I really really want to ask him stuff, about his gay experience, about how he came out to my grandmother, how the rest of my aunts and uncles reacted (my dad is homophobic, he doesn't think my Uncle is a real 'man'), etc etc cause I think it would be cool. SO, suggestions at trying to get my Uncle to tell me? To get the message? Or should I leave it alone?
I think you should just come out to him. Don't slip it in or anything just tell him. And most likely he'll at least know you're fine with it because you are gay too, and will hopefully come out.
I also have a gay relative my great uncle on my fathers side, I don't know how to tell him that I am mostly homo(of course he will be fine with it since he has a boyfriend which he has been with for 30+ years) because I am trying to still find who I am.
Don’t ask but do tell. Come out to him as part of your email. Maybe just ask him for advice on some things about coming out, without asking if he is gay. If he is gay, in all likelihood he will respond with some personal advice based on his experiences.
I agree with the above advice. Come out to him. See what happens. I suppose you could mention that you see by his profile pic that he has been out to a gay bar / seen a drag show - and you could ask him how that was - if he enjoyed it - because you were thinking of going. Put yourself in his position - his brother / brother in law (your dad) is homophobic. He likely will assume you are too. Or at a minimum doesn't want to appear like he's trying to 'recruit' you. So he has avoided the topic because of your dad. So maybe you need to bring it up so that he knows that you're cool with it.
ya, I wouldn't ask him...because that would just scare him...just let it in that you are gay, and let the convo go from there.
If I were you, I'd come out to him, and then he'll most likely be like "Wow, what a coincidence!" or something like that. Then, you can ask him whatever it is that you want to know. Good luck!
sounds to me like he was hiding it when you visited him, maybe he thought you were too young to understand or something. but he doesn't seem to be actually hiding it, so maybe he just assumes that you know now. i don't formally come out to most people, i only do if it looks like they're never gonna figure it out on their own. if you wanna talk to him about it, you'll probably have to initiate it. i like the idea of casually revealing it as if it's not a big deal..cause it shouldn't be really.
