The title is self-explanatory. Let me try and explain. First, my mom and I are having major issues. We have a fight every night over something, and I think it's largely due to the fact that I'm out. For example, my brother and I are in the same German III Honors class, and on Tuesday we got our tests back from Friday. I got a high A, and my brother got a B. He came home and told her during dinner, and she didn't even flinch (A's are expected in our house) . But today, we got our political systems/economics tests back, and he got the A and I got the B, and it was the first thing out of his mouth when my mom walked in the door. She flipped shit on me and said that I was slacking and I had to start studying and paying better attention in class. So we got in a fight over how she's more lieniant with him. And it's true, because things like this have only been happening since I came out to everyone. It seems like she's angry at me and wants to teach me a lesson. My brother is acting the same way. Whenever I'm fighting with my mom he always has to chime in with, "Andrew, if you weren't so gay this wouldn't happen," or "see gay boy, I told you." It's so vindictive, it's actually starting to scare me. Doesn't he know how awkward it is when he says something like that? And because the two of them are treating me so badly lately, I've been starting to have other problems. All the stress is causing me to break out with acne all over my face, I can't sleep, and I can't concentrate in school because I'm always so worried my brother is going to say something really awkward in class (we have most of our classes together). I really wanted to come out to everyone so I could be happy, not so I could be as miserable as I was before :tears: .
First of all, I'd like to say that I'm happy that you're standing up for yourself in the face of these unprovoked attacks from your family. I have to be honest here... I'm struggling to come up with at least some shred of insight or advice to offer you. The only feasible thing I can think of is to try to ignore them, although we all know that's hardly advice. Question-do you do anything physical, as in bike riding, running, climbing, anything like that? Personally, I find that a long walk can force me into a very introspective headspace, good for thinking out whatever's troubling you. I'm an avid cyclist, and biking has the odd effect of essentially emptying my mind, almost like a zen sort of thing. Maybe you can find something like that where you can funnel a lot of anger and frustration into something enjoyable and non-destructive. I at least know myself well enough to know that physical activity like that where I can get away for a time helps me to sort of re-center, and if I were in your situation, it would keep me from beating the ever-loving shit out of brother.
i sort of feel like when me and my mom are fighting she does that. whenever we're not getting along she always has negative things to say about gay people, but the thing is im not out. but its not like its something people dont think about me when they meet me. i just feel like she kinda tries to get back at me in the chance that i am gay that it will hurt me. but yeah. it sucks that shes acting like that. its not fair. but best of luck to you and i hope it works out for the best.
Have you tried talking to your mom about it? Like sitting down and saying, "Hey, mom, I've noticed things have been really tense between us since I came out, can we talk about that?" I don't know, if you can't talk to her though I guess my best suggestion would be what Xequar said and find something to help relieve the stress. And maybe try to avoid saying or doing things that you know might cause conflict... and get out of the house regularly, hang out with friends and chill... I know when I get stressed out bad with my parents I always feel better after hanging out with friends. If you sit around at home all the time issues and tensions tend to become stagnant and thick and heavy.
i know built up tension and stress will eat you alive.I hold it in all the time and i had acne breakouts all over my body from it.I'd ask her what her deal is and tell your brother to quit with the gay boy talk.Thats if I was you,but do what you think is best and hope for the best.Good luck to you.
