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Not About Being Gay

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Joey, May 18, 2010.

  1. Joey

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    Yeah, disclaimer is in the title.

    Anyways, I just graduated from college (don't congratulate me, I've gotten enough of it lately) and I can't help getting this nagging feeling that A) I got the wrong type of degree, and B) I have no idea what is going to happen next.
    Both of those are frightening and very aggravating to me. I've already got a job that lasts until Sept. and might be offered a position for 9 months after that and I know this is not at all what I want. I'm terrified of being stuck in a rut doing something I hate. Which is the job I'm going to working for the next year. No bueno.
    Don't go on saying that I have to stick it out for just that long and what have you. I know that. I'm doing it begrudgingly because the money is a good thing. But longterm, if I'm stuck doing that I will be incredibly unhappy and unfulfilled (that rut I was talking about earlier). Looking out at what kind of jobs are available (which isn't much) I know I should be grateful about having one in the field of my degree (which I think might have been a waste of 4 years) but I know that it's not something I want to do. At all. I'm miserable working with the people and I'm miserable doing the work.
    Plus coming from a liberal arts college, I'm mildly terrified of not learning anything outside of my job parameters anymore. Silly fear but it's there. And it's just frustrating knowing that I'm locked in this one place right now again, doing something I despise with people I loathe.
    That's really what I'm feeling now, trapped and frustrated. Thanks for the bandwidth.
     
  2. Eleanor Rigby

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    Ok, so you don't like your job, but have you any idea of what kind of job you'd like to do instead ?
     
  3. revolutionrock

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    Go back to school, do something you're passionate about. Don't follow some social map for your life. Quit your job, travel. Broaden your horizons.

    Easier said than done, I know, but still doable.

    :slight_smile:
     
  4. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

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    Here's some thoughts that might be helpful.

    1. The liberal arts education is more about teaching people to think and to analyze, to read and critique, and to conduct research. The degree specialization is generally pretty meaningless (for most people, it's only 1/4 ro 1/3 of your total credits) and the vast majority of people with liberal arts degrees, 10 years later, are doing something partially or completely unrelated to their degree.

    2. The average time in a career is now about 7 years according to a study I read some time ago. This average includes doctors, lawyers, and other professionals who tend to stay in careers much longer, so the weighted non-professional average is even lower. This means that a lot of people your age and a few years older are probably stayihng in the same career for substantially less than 7 years before changing to another one. A couple generations ago, the average time in a career was 20 years, so people feel a lot freer now to reinvent themselves, and you should give yourself that freedom as well.

    3. Very, very few people who are recent college graduates have a clue what they want to do in life. And that's fine. Take some time, enjoy your early 20s, experiment and try different things if you're so inclined. Many people are taking an alternative approach to careers, particularly in this economy, and freelancing and working and doing different jobs (sometimes at the same time... a friend in his early 20s is working 3 different professional jobs part time, all interesting and fulfilling in different ways, and loving the experience.) This sort of approach gives them a more varied experience and more opportunities to find their true passion.

    4. For many people, a job is what pays the bills, and what happens outside that is where one's passion lies. As far as your current job, I'd say tread cautiously as far as quitting, because the economy isn't much better than it was 2 years ago, and there are a shitload of people graduating who will be looking for jobs, so if you give this one up before having something else... you may be looking for quite a while, if the experiences my friends are having is any indication.

    5. As far as learning and growing... you don't have to be in school (or even have an interesting job) for that. I read a couple of books a week, and a friend reads 4 or 5 a week. You can volunteer for causes or groups that are challenging and require you to grow. You can enegage in self-growth opportunities and explore yourself. You can go back to school (online or part-time, so it doesn't interfere with work, if you want) Or you can form or join a book club, "salon" or social group that meets and discusses topics of interest. I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by a group of mostly younger, highly intellectual and analytical people who are well read and passionate, and one of my favorite activities is to sit with them and have intellectual discussions which veer all over the place but are always interesting, challenging and stimulating. So perhaps you can find (or create for yourself) a group like that, and that will help to fulfill your intellectual hunger :slight_smile:

    Lastly, you might get a copy of "What Color is your Parachute." There's an edition for recent college grads, and it focuses on helping you find work you are passionate about and fulfilled by. Great book, been in print for over 20 years, updated annually.

    Hope that helps!
     
  5. Chandra

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    I spent 5 expensive years at university to get a teaching degree, was hired to teach at a high school, decided I hated it about 4 months in, and quit and the end of the school year. I bounced around doing this and that for the next few years, and am now working in a job I love at a community college.

    Education is never a waste, even if you don't end up working in your field. Having a degree is in itself an asset. You'll figure it all out, even if it takes a bit of time.