I've been noticing guys much more often. Before, I always thought "eh, not an option, not gonna think twice". But lately, I've started noticing my friends' bodies, which I didn't before. I've started sort of obviously checking out guys that I see. Not creepy, but that if someone saw me looking that way at a girl, they would def think I was checking her out. Pretty much any halfway decent looking guy I see running with his shirt off, I do a double-take and almost crash my car. At the gym is the worst. In the weight room everyone checks each other out to see exercises and muscles and to compare and whatnot, but I'm checking them out differently......I feel awkward. Not only that, I've kinda hit a slump the past few days and haven't quite been able to pull myself out. Going on this site makes me a happy for a few minutes, then I fall back and just kinda get sad about my future. I don't know why, I've recently realized I have a lot to look forward to. I just can't quite turn off my brain's negativity. I wanna talk to someone about it but I'm not quite sure who or why I can't figure it out. I just don't feel close to anybody right now. Maybe that's why I'm checking my friends out? I don't know. Maybe I just need a hug. Fuck.
Hey - use the community here in EC as much as you can. I can't tell you who to trust but having an in-the-flesh person to talk to will make a huge difference. Are there even any longshots in terms of people you might be able to talk to? In the meantime, (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) Peace,
Here you go (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) and don't hesitate to ask for more, I still have plenty On the side of this, I think that what you're going through is completly normal. You are probably more comfortable with your sexuality now than you were before, and so you start behaving more naturaly in regards of your attraction to men. You also probably would like to have a boyfriend, wich makes you check more the boyfriend material that could be around. And you know what, it's fine I even say it's a good sign. It shows that you're getting comfortable with being gay, that you censor yourself less than you did before, and that it's probably the step before you start daring talking to the guys you like. Just be careful with your friends, especially when you know they're straight, not that what you do is wrong, but that could make them uncomfortable. And keep working on your coming out process. From what I have seen in the year I spend on EC, it often happens that people feel closer from their friends and family when they're out to them, because they don't have to hide this part of who they are anymore. But if you feel you have constant negative feelings, it could be an idea to talk to a counselor about that, just to be on the safe side and be sure you're not starting a depression. Sometimes it takes only a few times with a counselor to help you putting things into perspective. Take care (*hug*)
Well, I hope a big virtual hug already counts for something! (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*) I don't think that suddenly checking out guys more is really unusual. Staying in the closet can have the effect of making you store away your feelings, not allowing you to acknowledge them, and definitely not allowing you to act on them. But when you come out, and find out that it's OK to feel attracted to guys, the emotional dam breaks, and it just all comes to the forefront. I guess that's what straight guys and girls go through in puberty when they first discover the other sex, just delayed by being in the closet... That's how it felt like to me, at least. Interestingly, it still took a few months after coming out to get there, once I started to really get used to the fact that I no longer felt guilty about liking guys, and that none of my friends seemed to mind either (in fact, they were pushing me to give my opinion on guys in the first place). I wouldn't say that I'm entirely used to checking guys out yet, but it has become more enjoyable as time went on When you think about your future, doe it make you feel sad? Or lost? And what is it about this site that makes you forget that feeling for a moment? I know that it's sometimes hard to pin down precisely, but when you think about it, what is it that you fear or don't feel comfortable about? What kind of scenarios develop in your mind? This might not be the same thing, but when I hit some major milestones (graduating, coming out, moving out...) I often felt lost and sad. I guess it was just the realisation that even if things look promising, there's a lot of options, and any of those would take quite a bit of work, and the possibility of doing it wrong. Usually that feeling disappeared once I picked a direction and got going again, though. Like the others have said, if you feel it is becoming a constant feeling, it might be best to talk to a councilor. Chatting about it here can help a bit too. And, as always you can send myself or any of the other advisors a PM! Take care, and (*hug*)(*hug*)
Thanks guys. I'll see what I can do. I'm going through a lot of changes right now, both with regards to my sexuality and not. Maybe i'm just not dealing with it well. I should be excited though. Thanks for your advice.
