when you come out, do you talk about it??

When I came out, I felt so awkward about it being brought up. I don't know why. It just made me feel so uncomfortable. But I think, that if you want it to be something to discuss, go ahead and bring it up =) Nothing bad can happen now that they know. Just be free to be yourself!

 

when I first came out, I didn't really talk a lot about it with people. Obviously they asked some questions while the coming-out happened, but after that, it was complete radio silence.

However, what I found was that this was not because they didn't want to talk about it, but rather because they saw my silence on the matter as a sign that I didn't want to discuss. Only after I started occasionally bringing it up and making jokes about it, did they start reacting to that and bringing it up themselves. Leading to all kinds of conversations, from what kind of guys I find atractive, to what it's like to discover you're gay.

So even though they're OK with it, they might just have the wrong impression. You came out by text, so maybe that gave them the impression you aren't comfortable talking about it face to face.
Definitely just bring it up or make a joke about it when they're present. As soon as they see that it doesn't make you uncomfortable, they might start mentioning it themselves without prompting as well.

 

Different people take it differently. What you see are the outwards representations of what's going on inside, but it doesn't always tell you what's going on inside with any reliability.

Most of the people I have come out to have never mentioned it again... even after months. Yet our relationships are the same if not better because I came out to them. When I look inside of him, I can see that my best friend (the first person I came out to a couple of years ago) finds it awkward to talk about homosexuality, but not because of me or because he's homophobic - he is fully supportive of me. My parents also haven't brought it up again, yet our relationship is much better. I know for a fact it's because sex of any kind is a taboo topic with them - nothing even remotely sexual is ever discussed with them. I can deal with that, because once again the underlying intentions are good.

Now my sister, she's another story... She is a sexual extrovert. Ever since I came out to her she has been fascinated by my sexuality and she brings it up almost every time I see her! She wants juicy details... too bad there aren't any to give her... So I was in San Francisco on business a few weeks ago, and when I got back she asked me if I had gay sex there... lol... She couldn't believe that I would go to San Fran, gay capital of the world, and not do the "gay scene" every night. Sorry, sis, it was strictly business! But it's fun to have her prying into my private life... or lack of one... again, her intentions are good.

As for your second point, I find myself being very reserved about making jokes or comments about how nice a guy looks. I've never liked making people feel uneasy, even if I should have the right to. So I'd probably only do that with my sister, or with a gay friend. But that's just me...

 

Absolutely not. I don't think I'm quite at that comfort level yet. On the rare occasion that I actually do tell people in person I try to get it over with fast. I'll be like, "I'mgaysoanywayhowaboutthatbeautifulweathertoday," or something to that effect.

 

sometimes when I'm with friends, other times people ask really stupid questions like "would you do a fit girl?" I mean COME ON Im gay what do you think I mean of course the answer is yes. lol but then other times people ask me a question and I say a joke to it like if someone asks something like "who do you fancy" I turn round and go "you cutie" with a twinkle in my eye and then burst out laughing, people think I'm being serious and freak out... which is funnier

 

When I first came out, I didn't mention it a lot, and neither did my friends. But as I got more comfortable with being out and everyone else did too, we started talking about it more. And now, it's just a part of conversation like any other topic.

It's all about the comfort level.

 

Ever since I've come out, it's something I have to talk about every single day...

I can't go for 30 minutes without one of my friends asking me "Who would you do?", or "How do gays do this and that?", blah blah blah...

It's really old and hurtful when my friends do that to me; and I always let them know. Yet they still do it.

 

When I came out my mom and brothers said nothing about it, but at work and with some friends they asked a hundred questions. It depends on the person, but i personally would not force the subject on someone if they havent shown any interest in discussing it.

 

I know that feeling you want to talk about just make SURE that they are ok with it.

When I came out some people were just like ok, whatever.

And, others wanted to have long deep talks about it. I think most people don't want to talk about it because they don't want to make a big deal about it, but if you want to talk to your sis and her BF then tell them you want to.

 

When I came out, I knew it would be awkward if we all just went on without discussing it. I didn't want it to be, like, some taboo topic. So I encouraged questions and dialogue and all that. I think it really was immensely helpful for everyone, including me, just because it prevented it from being an elephant in the room.

But, of course, to each their own.