Hello everyone my name is Cody. Those of you who do know me call me Cody or Courtney. But right now is no laughing matter. I feel as if my heart is breaking and there is no way to stop it. Let me start back in February when it began. My boyfriend who I was madly in love with broke up with me because his mother told him to. And it hurt like hell. But he told me all we had to do was wait until his next birthday which is next January. But that was almost a whole year at the time. So I dated this guy named Chris and that didn't last longer than three weeks. And then I am going out with the guy who coincidentally is my first ex ever. I love him but its more healthy now and my parents hate him. I love him but not in the way that I want to be with him anymore and I don't want to hurt him. My heart has always remained with the guy from February. But now his sister told me there is no way thats happening because he isn't bi anymore. And now my heart is breaking. I don't know what to do. I would some help from the people on EC because they seem to kn ow more about it than I do. So please help me.
That's a load of bullshit. Maybe he's liking girls more atm, but she's got no proof that he changed his sexuality at the snap of a finger. If anything talk with him in person, not through another person (it's not like he hates you or anything, right?)
Ok slow down a minute... So there's the first guy, whose mom made him dump you, that you still have feelings for. Then there's some guy that you dated for a cup of coffee who is apparently now of no consequence. And now there's a third guy, who is also an ex, that your parents hate? Ok, several things are coming to mind. One-you can't take the word of First Guy's sister. You don't really give any background on her, but her role in all this is something to consider. Does she have an issue with you? Is she trying to "protect" her brother somehow? Does she have issues with her brother being gay or just issues with her brother in general, and is she trying to indirectly use you to hurt him? There are all sorts of things that could be in play here, but the end result is that you need to go to the source: HIM. HE is the only one that can tell you whether he still has feelings for you or he's suddenly turned straight or whatever. Second, and probably the thing that needs a bit more attention, is this seemingly-revolving door of boyfriends/relationships you've been in over the past few months. There was First Guy, and you had no bearing on how that relationship ended, and there is the potential for that relationship to begin anew at some point in the future. This puts you in a bit of a sticky spot, because it's likely created all sorts of unresolved feelings, and you can't just spend all your time pining for something that might not come to pass. That said, given that you've said you still have feelings for First Guy, I think it's pretty plain that you need to deal with those before you can move on, and I think it's a very real possibility that (and this is going to sound really harsh) you're using these other relationships (with Second Guy and Ex) as a sort of emotional crutch. If you're just staying with Ex because you want a relationship-ANY relationship-you're not only hurting him, but you're hurting yourself, as well. I think you need to step back for a bit and deal with your feelings for First Guy, either by figuring out whether that relationship can ever be a thing again and making it so or by deciding that staggaring forward in pain hoping for something over there just isn't worth it. Regardless, I don't think a new relationship will have any chance at success until you resolve the issues with your previous relationship. I know, that probably sounds pretty harsh, and you're certainly not in an enviable position. Hugs (*hug*)
Well I want harsh right now. People more often or not are too soft with me when they try to address me. And his sister and I are really good friends. We talk all the time. She often relays messages from him to me like the last one he wanted her to tell me was that he wasn't trying to avoid me and to say hi. But I can't help but feel gullible. when his sister told me he was str8 it broke me. I want to cry but I can't because I already cried to much over him. And it feels like he tricked me and I BELIEVED HIM. I hate this feeling in my heart as if anyone can trick me. And I can't see him in person because he lives across town from me and I am grounded so I can't leave the house I want to write him a letter but I don't know if he would write me back. I just am glad I feel somethign because I am always afraid of feeling nothing. And I think you right when you say they are an emotional crutch.
:hug: aww courtney. first off, i wouldn't believe his sister as she is probably just trying to get you to give up him. it seems his family isn't very supportive of his lifestyle and is trying to change him. The fact that she brought it up is probably a good sign actually, it could mean that he still thinks about you in a loving way and they really don't like that. Just keep going bro, If you and him are truly ment to be, then it'll happen, if not, then just keep it up, you'll find somebody, someday eveyone finds the person they are ment to be with. Or at least thats my opinion. Much love and good luck, I really hope you find what your looking for. :hug:
Ok, so find him on Facebook or write him a letter or something. If he doesn't respond, then you have a pretty clear answer telling you to move on. Like the Rush song says, "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."
I think he's been brainwashed - being bi is not something you can turn on or off, as the previous poster said. I think you should just try and cut him out of your heart. Yeah it'll take ages and it'll hurt like hell, but eventually you'll feel a lot better and stronger for it. Harsh, but it's what I'd do in your situation (and I've been there and done it).
Thank you guys for your support I will try and do some of what you suggested and I will let you know how it goes.
