Okay, so there's this guy who I have known in high school for a while now, but never really talked to him or anything too much until this year (senior year). We are now fairly close as friends and I would really like to remain friends with him in the future (and become better friends). Now here's the problems: one, it is high school and I understand that I might not see him very often after graduation anyway, but he is a really cool guy that I would love to stay friends with. two, there are a few things he's said/asked/done that kind of make me think he might be gay or bisexual (he refers to himself as straight, but has no problems with gay guys or anything... i mean, he is friends with me). and three, i really wouldn't mind getting into his pants I guess the major thing I want out of this is just to be friends with him in the future, but I wouldn't mind in the process finding more out about his sexuality. I don't know him extremely well is another problem and I don't want to do or say anything that could hurt or offend him. I don't really care if he finds out that I'm kind of into him as I kinda think he already knows that fact... It's just that I don't want to give him the impression that I'm like stalking (not sure that's the right word - I can't think of the word i want) him or anything; I just want to be friends. Also, I've never been one for being the best at making friends, especially male friends... Please Help? :help:
just keep in touch with him. make plans to hang out often. not too often though, don't wanna be the clingy friend. but just play it cool and get to know him in the process. and let what happens happen. maybe even make plans to do things that you know will be a bonding experience
another thing i should probably have added is the fact that we haven't really "hung out" outside of school and school events :/
so ask him if he wants to. maybe go see a movie. or just go out to eat. whenever people become friends in school and hangout outside of school, they gotta start somewhere
is there any way to not make it look like I'm hitting on him though..? that's probably what I'm most worried about :icon_sad:
i can see the concern with that. if it's in person, it could be as simple as how you ask. make it sound like a friend asking a friend if he wants to hang out rather than asking him out. i dont know if that helps. it's kinda hard to explain though :bang:
i kind of understand what you mean... I'll see what I can do, but for tonight, i have to just calm down and get some sleep - i have a couple parades to march in in the morning... with him :/ Thank you for the advice, I'll keep you posted
Another strategy could be to start off with just asking him to group events.. So for me that would be like "hey I'm going out for drinks with a couple of my mates tonight, you should come." but I can see you're only 14 so perhaps just like the movies or lunch or whatever you do. He'd have increased incentive to come if he knows the other people as well. But yeah doesn't always have to be the case. Like concklin said, it also depends on the way you ask him.
I agree with the other posters. Being totally casual when asking people to go somewhere is the way to go. Saying "I really want to meet you outside of school sometimes" makes it sound like you're asking him out on a date, but you could phrase it as: "I don't have to be home for a few hours. I think I'm going to drink a coffee. Care to join?" and come across utterly casual. The net result is the same: you spend some time out of school talking. Same goes for, say, movies. If there's a movie you'd like to see, and you know he like it too, just ask "I'm going to watch this movie, but I hate going to the theater alone. would you care to join me?" As per toetoe's suggestion, asking him to come along when you're hanging out with friends might make him more at ease. On the other hand, he might be nervous about hanging out with a lot of people he doesn't know. But it's certainly worth a try! If he says no, just shrug and walk away, and ask again another time. While you might not mind getting to know more about his sexuality or getting into his pants, try to push that to the back of your head for a moment. He knows you're gay, so he probably knows you'd be fine with him if he was gay too. If he hasn't come out to you, it's either because he's not gay at all (and anything you see might be wishful thinking), or because he has to deal with things himself, or because he just doesn't know you well enough for that. So just try to think about him as a cool guy you'd like to hang out with, and try to work towards that first and foremost!
well, before graduation get number and email, also his parents address, they will usually know how to get ahold of him if his number or anything changes.
