Am I Ever Going To Fall In Love?/My Plan For The Future

Seriously, I feel like I've lost hope. I don't want a boyfriend right now, mainly because I'm 16 and I can't even force my self to be attracted to guys my own age, but after I hit 18 I feel like there still won't be hope. The only way I can think of meeting guys would be dating sites, and that doesn't work for a lot of straight people.

I know a lot of people say this, but I want to move to New York after high school.Not RIGHT after high school, 'cause that would be extremely hard.Everyone says it, but I have the drive. I may not get the best grades, but I'm starting to do better.I'm really independent, I understand the value of a dollar, and I'm ok with not having a lot. I pay for my own clothes and mostly my own food.I have a job. I've been looking at lower Manhattan (Greenwich Village) studio apartments.I just need to get out of Michigan. I can't stand being here. I've been to New York twice. It's for me. The main reason, I want to move there, is so I can start my life. I won't have to hide everything.I can be myself. I don't want some huge celebrity life. I want to work as an accountant in an office.I want to come home every day from my suit-and-tie job and make dinner. I just want o be happy. I want to meet an average guy. Attractive, but not a model. Someone who can appreciate me, and who share's the same interests. After a while, get serious, and maybe move in together, and build a life together. I know it sounds kinda stupid, (seriously, I'm not trying to get people to say "nooooo it's not stupiiiiid") but that doesn't seem impossible does it?

 

Thanks. You are right about how my goals may change. I don't think I actually have expectations, I mean I'm not gonna date some 40 year old living with his parents, but I don't have high standards. I don't have low standards, but the guy doesn't even need to be college educated as far as I'm concerned. Call me crazy but I don't want some David Beckham looking guy. I mean, sure that would be great lol but I want a guy who's attitude is just as good as his looks. I want someone who I can laugh with and just be myself with. I have incredibly low self-esteem, but I hear that when you're in love that person loves you for who you are, imperfections and everything. I want to be with a guy that I love regardless of if he gains or loses weight. I know I can feel that way. I want to feel like wherever I am with him is home. I'm just rambling on sorry lol.

As for the New York thing, I've kinda been thinking about it since I was about 8. I never really liked the city I grew up in. I still hate it. Everyone else (well, not EVERYONE else) loves it. I don't. Well when I was 8, my Mom's boyfriend took me, my mom, and my sister to Manhattan. I loved it. Just walking around, not even buying everything. I went to Central Park, and it was amazing. We returned and did the same thing two years later and I loved it.

When it comes to the whole accountant thing, my mom is an accountant. I have always done poorly in school (until this year when I had to retake freshman year).I actually started in 4th grade (my mom says she home-schooled but she didn't). In computer class, I was one of the best in the Microsoft programs, and at "bring your kid to work day", with some guidance I did my mom's job...well...you know what I mean, I tried it lol.

In New York I wouldn't have to worry about a car and gas money, I could just walk. Am I being unrealistic? I think all of this sounds possible, right?