Freak

Hi and welcome to EC. I am sorry that you are have a tough time. Don’t worry about how you sound – you certainly don’t sound stupid. Most people have some difficulty talking about their emotions. But, that is what we are here for - to try to help.

Can you tell us a little bit more about yourself, so we can try to offer some better advice? How old are you? Are you in school? What types of things have you been dealing with?

 

I think the first thing to do is get out there and find a clique of sorts or somewhere with other people whos mind works like yours or just some people who you feel comfortable around and who are nice to you. Since you're out maybe seek out somewhere you can meet with other gays and mix with them or wait on fate and just hang around with people entill you find the one for you. You don't have to rush it, just wait and get to know people entill you find the person for you regardless of gender.

 

you don't sound stupid, you need to loose that mentality if you want to be happy. People are going to judge you, its what people do, its hard but you have to lean to be thick skinned, or be like me and just always have a come back in your pocket.

Reading your post was like reading a section of my own life. I've been an outcast myself so I know what its like to feel alone. I eat most of my meals alone, I live alone, and I haven't had a serious relationship.

I'm not sure how old you are, your status doesn't say, but I found as I got older people liked me because i was different. In high school and such standing out is ok, but only if it is still socially acceptable to a high school mentallity.

I guess the best advice I can give is put yourself out there, you can't find these things sitting still. You have to go looking for it.

feel free to drop me a message if you feel like ranting, believe me I've been there, and still kinda am.

 

How old are you? That's a piece of information that's kindof necessary for anyone to help....

If you're younger, everyone goes through a stage at some point where they feel like they've got no one.

I'd say the best way to over come something like this is self-confidence. And I know you're probably thinking, how can I have self confidence if I have no one to rely on. But studies show that if you can feign confidence long enough, you can trick yourself into it.

 

Hi Freaky. Welcome to EC. Bring your loneliness and isolation. Those are feelings I think almost all of us share in common. ( I am so totally jealous of the 14 - 20 year olds here who are accepting of their sexuality. Miles ahead of me they are. I often wonder if they ever experienced the same depths of isolation and loneliness I have, buy it really doesn't matter to me know.) EC is a great place to read others' stories, even if in bits and pieces. We are all on a journey, and we've chosen to move away from our isolation. Welcome aboard!

 

The first step you should take should be to change that god-awful avatar of yours. Suicide isn't an option, it's a compulsion based on your negative feelings.

Nothing from what I have read makes you sound like a "freak." In fact, many people feel the same way that you do about themselves at one point or another. So to me, it sounds pretty "normal."

The second step you should consider would be to contact a counselor, or even a helpline. To me, it sounds like you are depressed -- and if you are serious about feeling better, a counselor will help to expedite the process. If the first one you see doesn't seem to be helping, try another. Much like real-life relationships, there needs to be some sort of "patient-counselor connection" for therapy to be truly effective.

The third step would be to look into things that you enjoy doing. What hobbies do you have? Is there anything that can be done in a group? The key to not being so lonely is to find those who share similar interests. Looking around for local groups that participate in that interest would get you out of the house so that you aren't constantly dwelling in your own negative thoughts. You might even consider trying volunteer work.

Meanwhile, you can try some form of cardio exercise which will release chemicals that can improve your mood. I know what you're probably thinking, "but I have no energy to do anything." And that may be true, but I think it would still help.

(*hug*)

 

Welcome to EC!

It's hard to get into any specifics until we get some more from you. But I'd say the best first step is this - accept you. Love you. Yes, love freaky-deaky you. Because I've found it isn't the weird stuff that turns people off - I've got some weird traits and hobbies, and many of my friends do, too. It's the attitude. If you treat it like it's some horrible yucky who-would-want-to-know-somebody-like-me sort of thing, they'll pick up on that. But if you embrace your inner freak, if you just say "I love coloring in coloring books", people might find it odd, but they'll pick up on the positivity, not the unusual-ness of the activity itself.

So start there. Start liking yourself. Feel free to not like where you ARE - your spot in life, the negativity surrounding you right now. But like the person who's currently in this lousy spot. That'd be my first suggestion.

As for the next step, well, I guess that would depend on what exactly you want. Pick a specific area or item you want to improve, and we'll see what we can do. I can't speak for the rest of EC, but the gargoyle loves a project.

Lex