Hello, I'm new here. I've been gay for several years, but I recently realised this wasn't just a weird "stage" of adolescence. I was on a class trip in Portugal, where (he was just kidding, my host explained it to me later) a kid brushed my hair and said "I love you". That's when I realised I actually liked it. On the bus way home I reflected a lot on the subject and thought I shouldn't lie to myself any longer, and instead focus on how to tell my friends (and, perhaps once I've moved out from home and am financially independent) my parents. This brings me to my question. How should I approach my friends with the subject? I've considered just dropping the bomb, casually slipping it in a conversation, and even letting them find out by "accident"! :lol: All my friends are comfortable with gay people so it's not a fear of rejection I'm experiencing. Any help?
Hi there, and welcome to EC! First off, congratulations on accepting yourself. I think it is good that you know that your friends are comfortable around gay people and are accepting. This can definitely help you in starting coming out to them. What might help, is if you start with your best friend, or the friend that you trust the most. Maybe take him or her aside, say after school, and try to come out to him or her then. You could also ask a friend to join you for a bite to eat or just to hang out and take it from there. If you feel that you are not ready to come out in person, you could also try coming out over e-mail. Others have come out over instant messages as well. Sometimes, this is easier at first. Maybe at first try to come out to one person at a time to become comfortable with the process. Does your school have a Gay Straight Alliance or a LGBT youth group/club at school? If it does, it would be a good idea to join it as it might and most likely will help you in your coming out journey. Sometimes, being part of a group can give you that extra feeling of being comfortable with yourself and also with the coming out process. It could also be an important part of your support network, on which you can rely and fall back on if you need to. There is no wrong or right way in coming out. You can come out in any way you want. The only thing that matters is that you are comfortable with it. Thinking about in which way you want to come out is good, as it might give you some insights with which method you would be most comfortable with. Always remember though to follow your instincts and what feels right for you. If something doesn't feel right, maybe take a step back and try to understand it first. Sometimes, we feel we are ready only to find out that we might not be as ready to take that step as we thought we are. Hope this helps!
I felt very awkward telling my friends and couldn't find a way to "bring it up" so I just kind of forced the awkwardness. I asked them the morning of when they were available as I had to talk to them on the phone...so then I was forced to call them. Called them and just said we need to talk, and I'm gay...so far everyone's been over the top supportive...something I really wasn't expecting. Very happy so far.
I've never been comfortable with speaking face to face, so I think I'll probably come out to my most trustworthy friend via IM. We don't have a LGBT group at school, at least that I know of. We're a small school though, and not many people are openly gay. Thank you for the advice.
I told a not-so good friend over IM (I closed my eyes and pressed enter), and we had a very deep conversation! I am so glad I went with my intuition, I opened up to the right person. This has definitely given me courage to come out to my friends.
Congratulations on coming out to your friend. Glad that it went so well and that it has given you the courage and motivation to come out to other friends as well! That's awesome!
I came out to two other girls! Once again, it happened in an IM conversation. We were sharing our secrets. It's funny how I thought I was obviously gay but still they had no clue. Mentally, I think I've made some progress with self-acceptance. I've been thinking of ways to bring it to my family's attention as well. I even drew some cute boy-love! About a week ago, when I registered at my new school there was a cute guy behind me (he said to his friend that he was happy with the amount of boys and that he wanted a locker so he could decorate it...) in line to the principal's office. I only caught a glimpse of him, though. :/ I don't even know if he's in my group.
try doing it on trusted friend at a time, until you get comfortable enough let larger groups of people know.
