I had most of the day off so I spent it with a couple good friends of mine, shopping, goofing off, and eating out. It was great fun and I'm sad my job doesn't allow me more such free time. Anyway, I got into a conversation with one of them about a gay actor, and somehow my friends said (paraphrased slighty): "You know, I wouldn't mind if you were gay. I think you're just fine and it wouldn't change anything. So, are you?" I was kinda shocked, as even now I'm not sure where this even came from. But I don't know, I was so scared, I felt like if I told her she'd expect me to tell everyone or do something crazy. So I chickened out and said no. Is this a sign she just suspects it? Should I say something to her? I'm just afraid it might change the way she thinks of me, even if it really shouldn't.
She said she wouldn't care. I think that was the most blatant symbol of someone opening your closet door, and reaching their hand out to you, grab the hand kiddo.
Hi there! Well, it could be that she suspects something, but than again some people will ask you outright without giving it too much thought. Given that your friend has said: I doubt that it will change the way she things of you. In some ways, coming out could actually strengthen the friendship that you have with her, given that she seems to be accepting. I think the question you have to ask yourself: "Am I ready to come out to her?" Maybe try to stand in front of the mirror and say out loud "I want to come out to [insert name]" and see how you feel. If you feel okay and are comfortable with it, maybe try to get together with her and try to come out to her. You already have a good way into the conversation. At the same time, if you don't feel comfortable coming out to her at this stage give it a bit more time. Sometimes, in order to be really comfortable we have to be the ones being in the driver seat as it were and need to come out on our terms, rather than on someone else's terms. Give it some thought, and follow what you feel most comfortable with. Hope this helps.
She opened up your door and saw you in there - you just need to step out! If she asked you straight up like that she probably has some very strong suspicions and she even said it herself she wouldn't care if you were. I'd say talk to her again (sooner the better) and tell her you are gay - she'll probably smile and you'll still be great friends, maybe even better friends. Good luck!
Thanks everyone, I guess I shouldn't be so afraid. I just really don't want people to think of me differently. I'm gonna see her again Saturday, so, I'll just practice telling her like Mirko said and we'll see. Also, my signature is full of win.
well she seems to have ideas i would say and has offered you to tell her. if your comfy letting her know then just tell her. i can tell u i felt alot better telling my friend. i did say however not to tell others and cos i trust her i know she wont. so your friend sounds supportive whatever you choose.
I agree with all of the above. Mostly, people don't just blurt out "Are you gay?" at the drop of a hat. so she might have already given the matter some thought. And even if she is the type to blurt out random questions like that, she still explicitely said she wouldn't mind. So, everything about this screams "prime candidate for coming out to!" I can't blame you for not just saying yes, though. To be honest, if someone would ask me face to face, I might still just have my old reflexes kick in and say "no" to buy time. But if you're alone with her on saturday, and can talk to her about it (and about who you want to tell or don't want to tell, and how quiet you expect her to be about it for now), then I'd say go for it!
next time you talk to her just tell her you didn't give an honest answer, and that her question was a little sudden and shocking. she'll understand. once you tell her that, you 2 can just laugh about it and that will be one less person you have to hide it from
I'm with Hairdye. She knows and she's trying to pull you out of the closet. Let yourself be pulled I had a close friend that everyone who met him just knew he was a poofter for years, but he wouldn't admit it. So I kept making more and more blatant hints... and he certainly knew I was gay, so it wasn't an issue. He just kept denying and finally I said something to the effect of "Look, let's cut the BS. You're obviously gay so let's just get the elephant out of the room." He was pissed in the moment, but ultimately he was fine with it, and it helped him feel more comfortable coming out to others. I think if you out yourself to her, she'll be just as fine... and you'll be a lot happier
This sounds like an amazing opportunity to come out. CLearly she knows you're gay, and she's trying to tell you it's okay. I"m sure if you said yes, but dont tell anyone please, she'd listen lol. I'm so jealous of you lol
She's an awesome person, so I should know already it won't be a big deal. Just, nervous I guess? I suppose you're all right anyway she's got an idea but I'm honestly kinda curious where it even came from. But anyway, I can't wait till Saturday. Let's hope I'm not as big a chicken as I think I am.
OMG! That made my day! I'm glad that meant so much to you! Best of luck! I know it's gonna turn out great!
i agree with mirko. could be an amazing opportunity. a few questions for u:1. have u truly come out to yourself yet, that needs to be first in my opinion. are u ok with being gay. u cant expect ur friends to be ok with u being gay if you arent. 2. is she a good and caring friend, or is she just nosy. will she blab this information if u come out to her 3. how will u feel if she does tell others??? all stuff to think about best of luck
