So here is the story, for everyone to hear. Last September a day before school started I was having the average day like any other,My Mom had came home and we had watched a movie It was nice having to have company since she is a,well awesome Mom. During the time it was done I had fell asleep with my iPod Touch besides me,turns out my Mom had looken through my iPod without my permission, I know she just wanted too see what I was up to eh,about 1 am the time it was and I had felt a hand waking me up,I was like what the who is bothering me xD I eventually woke up my Mom sits there saying "Paul,are you gay or something"? I forgot to keep my iPod touch on lock with a passcode, and I felt very upset she had found traces of some 'gay porn' and surprisingly history of this site, with multiple tabs open,including my Facebook and other sites. I could not believe she would invade my privacy but I shouldn't have been looking at those kind of sites considering she always looks what I'm up too etc. She didn't take it well herself yelling "are you gay or what"? And even a few cuss words I had then told her "No,Mom" my heart had pounded alot cause I would think she would kick me out of the house or something. After that I had just went to bed myself the next morning she wouldn't even let me get on my personal desktop having to use the school one lent to us(home schooled). I was really scared she might tell my Dad or something about this he lives in this city but not in this current apartment. Months went by she seem to have forgotten about it but I can't say for sure she has,by the time of December she had started letting me use my desktop again only being able to open Photoshop,yes I love graphics. After a few days I asked can I use the internet browser(Firefox) after she had left suprisngly she said yes I was super excited cause I had friends to talk to again. Now here I am with some doubts and finally sharing my story to this forum,I really want to come out but what do you think she would say considering what happened months back. Would she accept me? Are relationship kind of went bye these past few months we don't get along much at all and I am worried she would get mad or something? I feel this summer I wanted to come out to my two sisters and Mom,not sure about my Dad yet,I mean he's made fun of gay's in the past but nothing harsh. Any advice on what to say and just come out without having to deal with this hidden forever. Thanks.
Right i have a few points to make 1. It was wrong of your mum to go through your ipod, but i do wonder whether she had suspicions that you might be gay and that's why she did it? 2. The fact that you are home schooled seems to make this difficult, as you will see your parents much more than most, but if your relationship with your mum is suffering it could be because she thinks you don't trust her enough to come out to her? ( i say this because this was what my mum felt when i came out to her but after a couple of friends) 3. Its easy for people to make the odd joke, like your dad in this case, without realising its hurting someone. My family again did this very often without realising, and then when i came out to them i had no problems whatsoever, and it's very much the same with my friends here at uni, they used to make jokes, and then when i told them they were surprised but fine, so don't worry too much about the odd joke meaning someone is homophobic because it isn't always the case. I think that the fact that you're having problems with your relationship with your mum, means she is still thinking about what she found on your ipod. I can't judge her reaction because i don't know her, but it might be important to talk to her, she is your mum, and family should be there for you when you need them. sorry this is a bit of a ramble, hope it goes well whatever happens.
If you truely do fear of being kicked out, then I would vote against telling her. Maybe the whole iPod thing was a good thing. Maybe now that your mom has time to think about you being gay, she's somewhat accepted that it's a posibility. Gay jokes are just jokes. I wouldn't take your dad too seriously. But, in the end, it's all up to whatever you feel is right. If it feels like the right time and you really feel the need to tell her, then you should.
jeez, i dont even know what to say. i think she must have freaked out. that teaches her a lesson to be snooping around on your own personal things. like the previous poster i would not rush into telling her your gay if you feel like you might get kicked out. you need to make sure that you have some sort of support to fall back on. maybe sounding her out more about what she thinks of homosexuality is the way to go. same goes with your dad. good luck anyways.
