I'm really loving the city of Ottawa, I've got a great job, my bros appartment (NO RENT), and the city has plenty to do. Yet, despite my affection for this city, I am incresingly feeling a sense of sadness in my heart. The problem is, is I left alot behind when I left St. Catharines. Possibly some of the best friends a person could make. And now I'm here in Ottawa, and I barely know anybody. I have a couple of friends in Ottawa, and I appreciate their company very much. I'm out to them, and they've got no problem going to gay bars but I would like to meet some people my own sexuality. Now it's true that I could go to community events, or find a gay youth club, but I've searched and I haven't found much. If anything. Ottawa's pretty dead when the students go away I guess. Now there is going to the bars, so far everytime I went to the bars I haven't had much success in meeting anyone. You see, the one bar back in ST. Catharines, I knew almost everybody there. I could walk around the bar and strike up a conversation with anyone. I went to the dance floor, there's always someone to dance with. In a sense, every friday night became special for me, and I would always look forward to going just to see who was there. Kinda like church? It was my community. Now I've tried to go to bars in Ottawa, but I haven't found anyone engaging. The first bar...Although smaller...Turned out to be a goth bar. Then on a sunday, one of the gay bars has a Roof Top Cheap drink Patio night. I went, and although it was kinda neat, I didn't find anyone there all too engaging. Although that night, I did go home with someone (NO SEX during that encounter :eusa_danc), I didn't find the encounter all that pleasing. Sure he was attractive, but personally, there was nothing else desireable. The situation was a causality of a few drinks drowning out mr. Big head. I don't think I'm good at being sleezy, or anonymously sexual. That seems to be the problem. I'd go to the bar in St. Cats and be apart of this community, I go to the bar in Ottawa, and I just feel uneasy. The connotation of my presense is obviously, misleadingly sexual to other people. Last night, I went out to the bar, and I felt no need to dance or talk to other people. I stuck to my cellphone and actually acted quite shy. Which is wierd for me...Perhaps I had a bit to drink, and listening to James Blunt before going out didn't help. But the whole, "Best Gay Bar in Ottawa" seemed dissapointing. Kinda sketchy. I don't think I like going to clubs all that much. I prefer meeting people, drinking, and then laughing about it the next morning. I truly learned the meaning of, "It's not the bar, it's the people you go with." I just can't help but feel regret in having to leave a community that became so important to my life. Perhaps thats why I came back to EC, replace one void with the next. I don't want to go back to St. Cats. I'm enjoying the adventure of a new-ish city. I just want to know, (and here's the kicker) how do I find that community again?
Are you just there in Ottawa for the summer, then back to uni? University is awesome, you are all in the same situation doing the same stuff, and there's no end to people who you can meet and talk to and hang out with. There is no way you'll replicate that community over the course of a summer. But still, you need to find some way to meet people, make acquaintances and have fun. Even though you said the gay organizations don't look appealing, you can still give it a shot. Or screw worrying about finding gay people, just find people. There's usually groups in any city that get together just to hang out at bars, do events, whatever, that are open to anyone who wants to join.
Yea, that's part of the problem. I'm off to Montreal in the fall! It's just I need some way of getting out of this rut.
