I had a great experience recently I wanted to share and hopefully inspire somebody out there with coming out to my dad recently. I've been out since 2007 but the deal was - my parents got a divorce when I was young and so I always stayed somewhat separated from my actual dad as years went by, so my actual coming out included my mom and step-dad. So in three years living as an "out" guy I had never told my father that I was gay just because the little time we would see each other it wasn't something I could just spring on him. So I finally pulled it together and decided to have the talk with him and I just kinda casually bring up "well you know I'm gay right?" Me kinda assuming that he might have heard about it from any number of sources since I was out, but he hadn't and it was just a huge weight off my chest. So he cried (for other reasons) and just said, you're my son and I love you, and we joked around. The moral of the story being - I know when you're at that stage it feels like a huge burden that sometimes seems impossible that you'll ever state the words to your parents or anyone... It was still hard for me after three years of saying I was gay to actually mention it to my father, but in the end I did. It could have gone anyway but it was alright in the end. People, mostly loved ones who you kinda know will love you always, will surprise you.
That is really awesome to hear that your experience turend out like that! I don't think that is going to be the same result for me...A few people know I am a lesbian but only because I 'dated' this girl privately for a year. I still struggle with my own internal demons and wonder if I even need to tell my parents. I say this because my father and I were watching tv and we casually started talking about gay/lesbian relationships and without telling him my situation I probed him by asking how he would feel if one of his children were gay/lesbian? He said he would be deeply saddened and would probably have no furher contact with that child. My heart just broke ...I was pretty upset for a couple days and further hating myself but then I thought if he is happy right now and I am in the process of accepting myself, do I really need to tell him? The last thing I want to do is to ruin the dynamics in my family and cause any pain for my family.. Please let me know your thoughts..
