Ok everything's set for me to come out now. My mom's finally alone for once (well my little bro is here but he's so into Super Smash Bros the house could blow up and he wouldn't notice), her bf is gone in Vegas, and on top of that I already have to tell her something important about school next year. I have only about an hour before I plan on doing this so any replies between now and then would be great. My counselor said I'll have to go to continuation next year for one semester due to missing some credits from when my mom kept me out of school so much my freshman and sophomore year and I didn't get to make up everything. I have to turn back in some paper before Monday for it as well which is how I plan on starting off the conversation and once I'm done with that coming out to tell her. I'll already have her alone and talking so it'd be the opportunity I've been waiting for again to tell her. I'm confused exactly on what to tell her I am though and hoping someone could help clarify this. My likes are about 95% guys, 5% girls (or even less). Would this be considered bi or just gay? I hardly have any feelings for any girls and even then it's always on an emotional level, never sexually. I've never looked at a girl and been turned on...with guys that happens a lot. Ok I plan on telling her in 2 hours. Bring it on All or Nothing just came on and I've been wanting to see it for a while so right after it goes off I'm going to tell her hopefully if her bf doesn't pop up early from Vegas. Thanks for any help
With so little time, there's not much to prep. Just say what comes to mind and hope for the best. Good luck.
Well I think you'd be betraying yourself MUCH more with the term 'bi' than with the term 'gay' unless of coarse the word 'bi' was followed right after with the phrase 'but I like guys ten times more' Although, since you like guys sexually (and I'm guessing emotionally) and you ONLY like the ladies emotionally, that would make you ''homosexual'' ''biromantic'' but you have to ask yourself weather you could maintain a real relationship with a woman w/o physical attraction (it's been done: observe the asexual community). If you COULD date a woman, under realistic, honest and open circumstances, then tell her you're bi, but clarify you're a ''gay bi'' or ''bi-gay'' (phrases my friends and I made up) If you're only gonna date men and not women, just use the term ''gay'' to keep things simple for her. Further advice: if she's religious, make sure you have some replys for those concerns, such as ''why would God care about soemthing shallow like gender?'' etc. Remember, this is hard on you, but it'll be much harder on her. You've had years to understand this fact. And although it's affects you WAYY more than it affects her, she'll hear it for the first time tonight and you knew it for the first time (I'm guessing) years ago. Good luck mifriend Inhuman
Take a deep breath...and be ready to answer tough questions. Good luck, report back on how it goes and I will keep you in my thoughts.
Ok well...I didn't go through with it. I got up to the point where all I had to say was, "I'm gay." after telling her we needed to talk and about the continuation (which she handled better than anything I've ever seen) but the words just wouldn't come. I stayed up almost half the night thinking about why I just couldn't say it. But that also gave me the idea I'm going to do. I'm going to to give her a letter on Monday before school, like leave it on the seat or something when she drops me off at school, and let her read it so it can sink in during the 7 hours I'm gone. Hopefully she doesn't react too badly to it. I wrote the letter at 5:00 this morning and planned on doing it today only to have my dad call about 20 minutes ago while I was in the shower telling us that my aunt, his little sister, had just died after being shot in the head accidentally by her husband. I feel like crap now because after coming out to my mom I planned on telling my father's side of the family within a week afterwards because they're accepting completely of gay people due to one of my male cousins being gay and the whole family loves him. I knew my aunt would be one of my major supporters during that time too since I planned on telling her first and she's always told me to just be and do whatever makes me happy. I was thinking about just leaving the letter in my mom's room today after finding out about my aunt but I'm afraid she might say something like, "You couldn't wait until some other time to tell me this?! Your aunt just died!" So I'm going to give it till Monday and then do everything that I planned on doing today. Thanks for your support everyone. To show my thanks as well for the help, you'll all be seeing a thread in the Coming Out section on Monday about how it went. (&&&)
