How in the hell do I get someone to ask me the big question?

First of all, way to go for figuring all this out by 14! I'm like you in the sense that I'm not going to around telling people; they need to ask. My advice would be to go forward with whatever your next stage of life is. I don't see why you need to wait on this "road block" to pass and people to officialy figure it out. Let them think what they want. If they really want to know, they'll ask. But bottom line is...dont hold off being who you are because they haven't talked to you about it. You're right....they either don't care, already know, or don't see it. So don't let it be annoying if they think you're straight...nothing wrong with that! Just don't hide who you are, live your life, and be happy! Don't worry what others think or say.

 

There's a phase when you're coming out where you transition from an assumption that people think you're straight to an assumption that people think you're gay. That seems to be where you are right now. There's basically good reason to believe that most of the people you know know you're gay*, so it's really just a matter of either talking about cute guys or saying, "Hey, I don't think I actually told you, but you do know I'm gay, right?"

One of the main coming out fantasies is that someone will ask us what our sexual orientation is. I've had it happen twice. Don't expect it.

*years of sarcasm almost demand I type "your ghey."

 

Congratulations on being able to figure it all out at your age, Wish i could have! I am a good few years older but more or less in a similar situation to yourself. It would be so much easier if people would just ask, but sadly it's not that easy. The time will come where it will feel right for you to make the move and bring the subject about in conversation.

 

lol a guy on the bus asked me if I was, when I said yes he near blew a gasket it was funny

anyway back to you, why not just act really gay, say things like ooh hes hot or something, youll know if the oppourtuniy presents itself

 

I've had the 'if someone asks I'll tell them' policy for about 6 years now, and no one has asked. Well that's not true, when I was at a party a girl said to me 'so you're gay then' and I was horrified (no one had ever asked) and I unintentionally scared her off.

It is great that you're at this stage at 14, but it sounds like you're ready to tell people now, you just don't know how to bring it up. You should try and think of ways to tell people, because they might not ask. Occasionally direct the conversation towards gay topics, or hint at your sexuality if you want to prompt people to ask you. Who knows, you might find the courage to tell them first

 

Why are you trying to rush the information into their heads? You know it, don't you? Your sexual orientation shouldn't mean more about you than your ethnicity or choice of music for that matter.

 

How can you get them to ask the question? Simple but brutal answer: you can’t. Because you can’t control what people do and don’t say.

Now, a somewhat longer answer is that basically there’s two possible situations.

- People have no idea you might be gay. In that case, it’s pretty simple. They won’t pop the question because it wouldn’t appear to them. They’d have to have an idea first. Which leads us to option number two:

- People have their suspicions. However, this does not mean they’ll ask you. Because, short of seeing you doing unambiguously gay things (like, say, kissing with a boyfriend, or waving a gay pride flag), they probably think it could be all in their heads.
Also, asking someone whether they’re gay and getting it wrong is a recipe for drama (and in the worst case, physical abuse), so they might want to keep doublechecking some more.

So, in both cases, absent overwhelming evidence, people will never ask the question directly.

However, what you tell is already full of examples of them asking indirectly!! Mentioning you two together and seeing how you react is a way of probing what kind of reaction you give. And asking you whether you made out is basically asking whether you’re gay in a roundabout way.
And so what if they asked in a roundabout way? You got a question, you give a direct answer. When they ask if you make out, you reply “Nope. I’m into guys, but he’s just not my type”. Or, as was already said above, when the topic of who’s hot and who’s not, you mention guys you like. People will pick up pretty quickly after that. Maybe it’s not a big “I’m gay” moment, but the result will be that you’ve dispelled all doubts!