So, I just recently realized that I was attracted to girls as well as guys. Both my mom and sister know as well as all my college friends and some of my high school friends. We're doing the long distance thing and in a few weekends I'll be up in the same area she's living. We're planning to spend some time together while I'm there, but the problem is that I'm going up there for my Aunt's birthday party with family and friends. She's already said that she will awkwardly come to the party if it means a chance to be with me, but I'm afraid of what to tell my grandmother, aunt, uncle and the many friends who are always the first to ask me if I have a boyfriend yet. She understands my dilemma, and supports me no matter what, but I'm terrified to come out to my grandmother. They live in small towns in northern Wisconsin and I'm not really sure what their feelings are about gays. Any advice?
I've always thought that coming out to an older relative would be difficult, and it sounds like it is a hard situation for you. If I were you, I would probably reconsider whether or not it's really important that they know. After all, if they don't live nearby, it's not as though they need to know much about your social life, anyway. Only do it if you really feel it's something you can't live without doing, which would be a good reason all on its own. Out of curiosity, what political party do they usually vote for? And how conservative/liberal is northern Wisconsin from a first impression?
I'm not really sure which way they fall for politics, but on a first glance I would say that the part of northern Wisconsin they live in is pretty conservative. Thanks for the advice.
I kinda have that problem but my parents and I talked about it. I only plan on telling my grandparents if I have a woman I plan on spending several years with. If not then they don't need to worry about it. I just tell them she's my best friend, which is not a lie since she probably knows me better than anyone out side of my family.
Coming out to my grandmother was the easiest person I have come out to thus far. If they love you, whoever makes you happy will make them happy for you. Also, be careful of stereotypes. I live in the rural midwest, and all but two people that I have told have been very accepting (I realize that this is not true for everyone, hence I am only out to close friends and a few family members) and all the people except one that I have told are hard-core republicans. Good luck, and remember, even heterosexuals have a hard time bringing partners to meet their family. Take a deep breath and we'll pray for the best for you!
heres how I look at it, the only grandparent I have who is alive lives about 1000 miles away from me meaning she is not actively in my life, I only see her once a year and she is really religious and doesn't have a good opinion about gay people. I have promised myself that I am only going to tell her if I have a girlfriend in my life who I am very serious about meaning that I have been with her for at least a couple years, otherwise I feel that since she isn't a major part of my life she doesn't need to know. After she dies I will tell the rest of the family who lives around her (this is my dad's side of the family and no one out of my dad's side knows). So what I'm saying is that if a person has family members who live a long distance away from them then they really don't need to tell them, of course it really is up to you whether you tell you grandmother and other family members in that area. good luck.
