I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I am planning on starting school in the fall for computer science, but I don't know if that will make me happy. I want something that will make me happy and give me the freedom to do whatever I want to do....
It sounds to me like you'd like to win the lottery. But you'll need a plan B in case that doesn't pan out for you. I assume you're somewhat (if not very) interested in computers? Then that's likely a good job for you to pursue. If you don't like what you do, you're not going to be any good at it. And if you're not good at what you do, then you're not going to be very well paid doing it. And if you're not well paid, that limits what you can do with the part of your life that isn't dedicated to work. Do you think that there's something else that would make you 'happier'? (The reality is that 'happiness' doesn't come from your job or your cars or your vacation homes. Happiness comes from your own attitude towards life and what you're doing with it. So while it's important to have goals and objectives, it's also important to remember that they aren't necessarily going to provide you with happiness. Being satisfied with what you have and what you are doing in the present moment is really what provides you with happiness. At least in my opinion...)
I don't want to be rich, I just want to be free. Free to do whatever, go wherever, and be whoever I want to be
While I don’t want to sound harsh, there is no such thing. You can be who you want but there will always be some level of responsibility placed on you. Unless you are independently wealthy, you will have to work. That entails doing things you may not always like but that you need to do in order to stay employed. Unfortunately, that is a part of growing up. If you are interested in working in the computer field, great. If not, take advantage of career counseling services that may be offered by your school. Take a personality/aptitude/interest test that they likely offer to see if there are other alternatives you are not thinking of. Happiness in life does not require complete freedom. As Jim said, it comes from within.
Hi there! If you are unsure as to whether it will make you 'happy' I think a good starting point for you then would be (and as s5m1 said) to make an appointment with a career counselor either at your school or at the school that you will be attending in the fall. There are aptitude tests or quizzes that you can take that will give you some guidance on what could potentially interest you (in addition to computer science). Another starting point would be to look at your hobbies or the things that you like doing and try to think about an educational path and a career/job that include some elements of what you like doing. Maybe think about what you like doing and look at the schools' programmes and see if you might not find a 'better fit' for you.
So you want a job where you have the freedom to go wherever you want, and spend time doing all life has to offer. Are you interested in being creative? Are you interested in communicating with other people around the world? Do you like things that look good? I'm a graphic designer, and I truly feel that I DO have the ability to go where I want to go, and I have many different options for things I can do with graphic design. Currently I'm doing web design and development, but I also love packaging design, print design, and every other kind of design you could imagine. Sure it takes some creativity, but as long as the world exists, people will NEED design. And that cant be recreated by robots. If you're interested in computers, maybe try your hand at web development or interface development. Maybe you're not the creative type, maybe you're more of a technical person. There's a lot of money in design and development these days as they're the fastest changing industries in the world. Not to mention, you can charge a LOT for development. I'm a student, and for freelance jobs, the minimum I charge for web design and development is 50 dollars an hour. And that's after the initial fees and whatever other costs I may have for a project (IE if I have to learn something new to complete a project, the client pays for it). So look into that if you're interested in computers or design at all. You'll be surprised at the amount of freedom you can have.
I don't thnk that it's unrealistic for me to want total freedom. I just gotta find the right thing. And I really don't think I'll ever be happy in a career until i'm happy with myself and who I am, which is a recurring problem and is interfering with a lot of things
Hi there! Okay....then I would say your first priority should be to understand yourself better and become happy with yourself. If you want, why not write out the things that you are not happy about when it comes to yourself, and maybe we can start helping you with that? (*hug*) Would it be possible for you to still see a counselor at school?
That is absolutely true. If you are happy with yourself, the rest really does fall into place. Although I have had a successful career, I was not truly happy until I finally accepted I was gay. Now, life could not be better. Perhaps now is the time to focus on why you are not happy with yourself. Talking with a therapist can be incredibly helpful. It was for me. I looked back at the threads you have started since you joined EC. It sounds like you are going through a bit of a transition period in your life right now. It can be really hard to deal with a lot thrown at you at one time. One of the greatest gifts you will have when you start college is the chance to explore who you really are and what you want to do with your life. You don’t have to go into college knowing what you want for a career. Take some classes in different fields, attend some lectures and take advantage of the career counseling resources available on campus. Many young people experience anxiety over what to do with their lives when they are heading to college. With respect to how you feel about yourself, college is also a great opportunity to “find yourself.” Experience all you can while at school. Join the GSA. Talk to other gay students. Get active in campus life, if you want to. Talk to a counselor at school about the self esteem issues you are working through. It is very common for young people to feel this way, straight or gay, so you are certainly not alone. Right now, things may feel a bit overwhelming for you. Hang in there. You can and will feel better, but it will take some effort on your part, along with some positive thinking.
I've accepted that I'm gay. And that's all well and good I'm okay with that side of myself. What I'm not okay with is when i look in the mirror I see a disgusting, fat, lazy, awful slob who can't get his act together. I hate myself for hating the way I look and I know I'm fat because of choices I have made....Which makes it all the more worse
Hi there! Glad to hear that you have accepted your sexual identity! (*hug*) I'm sure that your are not disgusting and an awful slob. There are things you can do to get into shape as it where such as joining a gym, trying to increase your physical activity over time and trying to improve your diet perhaps. Although you have made choices and the choices have led you down one path, that doesn't mean that you can't make new choices that will lead you down another path. Having some regular physical activity every day and perhaps more strenuous physical activity at least twice a week, will not only help you to lose some weight but it will also help you to feel better about yourself. It will help you to increase your self-esteem. Maybe start with setting yourself some realistic goals that you can achieve. For example, maybe start by setting yourself the goal of going for a faster pace walk for half and hour each day. After a while increase it to 45 minutes. As your condition improves, you can also start jogging slowly. The key is that you built it up slowly and it doesn't matter if it is in the gym or physical activity out doors. At the same time, there comes also point where you have to learn to like yourself and eventually love yourself. At the end of the day, what really matters is that when you look at yourself in the mirror, you can tell yourself out loud, 'hey I like myself' and also be able to tell yourself when you look in the mirror: CLICK. So besides trying to do things that will allow you to increase your self-esteem and self-worth, also stand in front of the mirror everyday and start by observing yourself. Start by zeroing in on one thing. Maybe start with how your hair looks in the morning. Even though you might not like it the way it looks when you get up, still stand in front of the mirror, and say out loud, "I like the way my hair looks." Or look into your eyes, and say to yourself "I like my eyes." In addition, maybe say out loud what you have as your custom user title, i.e. "I'm just awesome. That's all." Doing that will get you off the path of looking at yourself in a negative light, which generally decreases your self-esteem and destroys your self-worth. As you keep telling yourself and highlighting things about yourself, over time, you will start to like yourself and eventually start loving yourself for who you are. It is going to take some work, but if you are willing to put in the effort, I'm sure you will succeed. Hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)
