Soo lets see...i have been out to my mom for two or three months. Nd last night we have been talking and she is kind of making me angry. She says she loves me and we always talk but also seems somewhat homophobic. She doesnt want me around othet gay ppl and im pretty sure she is apposed to the GSA or LGBT thing i talked about befor for my school. And she doesnt want me 2 tell anyone elso-my flambouency does it for me lol. She keeps on saying that this is just a phase nd i try'd saying you don't deicide this kind of thing nd tell the intire town without being sure...huh its just so fustrsting! Like she wanted me 2 go on a mens retreat with the church right after telling me i couldnt go on a two day retreat with GLSEN - a nation wide organisation because it wasn't 'safe'...i was just like..'rly?i don't think so.'...its because it was a gay organisation. Anyways...is she ever going to get over this semi-homophobia im starting to feel from her? I'm i ever going to get to explore my inner-me with her wrapped around my waste?... Or i'm i stuck with this annoying mess?
Definitly not forever. Two things will end up happening... One is that your mom will come around and accept you for who you are or, you'll go off to college and start living your own life eventually. Obviously it would be amazing if both happened but either way though it's an uphill battle, eventually you'll have the chance to be as out and open as you want.
You've got to give her some time. She's been having dreams about your straight future since you were born 16 years ago. Think about how long it took you to accept yourself, and realize that she's kinda going through the same process. 3 months may seem like a long time, but the older you get, the quicker it goes. It probably still feels like it was last week to her.
Hi there! The fact that she keeps telling you that she loves you and that the two of you can always talk, is good, and it will allow her to come around to your coming out to her. As Zumbro mentioned, parents have their own dreams for their sons and daughters. Coming out to them changes these dreams. For some parents it takes a while longer to come around to it and to be able to create new dreams so to speak. Talking with her, and being yourself around her and showing her that your sexual identity does not change you in anyway, will help her to come to understand that you are still the same person that you were before your coming out. What might help, perhaps leave some reading material for her. PFLAG has some pretty good pamphlets, including Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People. Maybe print it out for her and leave it for her to read it. Also, there is a good book entitled Now That You Know. If you can maybe have a look if you local bookstore has or can order a copy. Also keep in mind that you are the best person to educate your mum and to help her to understand you better. Give it some time and keep talking to her about things. Hope this helps a bit.
At 16 your mom and dad are still responsible for your well being. So you are stuck with them for now. But not forever. The best way to get her past this is to give her nothing to worry about. Continue to be the best son you can be. Get good grades, be responsible, be polite, hang out with a good crowd - and your mom will eventually come to see that there's nothing really for her to worry about.
Ahh thanks you guys! Ya you guys are completly right...im expecting alot from her in 3 months, eh? She has come a long way. I gess im just wanting a bit much from her. But jim i have done all that stuff...my intire life...i know why she is protective though and i understand why....i just wish i could make her realize she can trust me-since im a good boy. But anyways her true fear is 'he going 2 hell', but i plan on talking about that to her shortly nd i got it coverd. So thanks guys!!!i just gota go slow aha!
Yeah I'm going through the same thing with my mom and me being trans. I would just give her time...Even if she does keep this up don't worry about it. Because your your own person. I think as time goes by it'll get better. My Grandma thought it was a phase 4 years ago when I told her I was bi.......yeah... lol
If you haven't, you should watch "For the Bible Tells Me So", and perhaps watch it with your mother. It approaches homosexuality from the views of the bible, and while it doesn't (I believe) ever completely say god doesn't exist, it approaches some of the fallacies and misunderstandings in the church today. "Abomination", for example, didn't mean then what it means today. It just meant it was abnormal, or taboo.
