My mom...

It seems your mom is in denial. For parents coming out as bi is easier than coming out as trangendered [x cuse my spelling] or gay or anyother. It gives them an idea that my child still has an opportunity to "go back to normal." Some parents wont even accept bi and it seems your mom is supportive to an extent. I know it's hard, but you should talk to her about it and ask her to not yell. If she rants and raves dont starts yelling back it ALWAYS makes it worse. But in the end, your mom acceptance is important but it really isnt everything. It's as hard on you as it is your mom always remember that.

well, hoped i helped...... you can always PM me though XD the people of EC im sure support you.

 

Yes, I think there is some denial and mis-understanding.
Maybe you can have your sister help you talk to your mom, maybe just have her there with you. Mainly though I think she would listen to you if she understood more about it.
Perhaps you could try explaining about it with her, but if she refuses to listen...maybe try printing stuff online or sending her an e-mail telling her about being trans.
I really hope this helps, we're here to support you

 

I agree, your mom is in denial. She is shutting out anything related to your identity. It sounds like she is very afraid of it, and that is natural. As humans, we are all afraid of things that we don't understand or know (and sadly, sexual identity is one of them in modern society). She NEEDS to be exposed to your identity. Just give her time. She can't be like this forever. She could be, but it won't be healthy. Since your sister supports you, maybe try to have her talk to your mom and see how things go.

Time is the best method in this case. And if she educates herself about this, bit by bit, she will come to her senses one day. You're still the same person on the inside.

Start with tiny bits of information and don't overwhelm her with big details.

Good luck!

 

Hm, that makes it a bit more difficult. Do you know anyone that knows YOUR mom that is also supportive of you? If not, then I would give it time and try to have little chats (not deep meaningful conversations) regarding this subject.

If she doesn't want to verbally discuss it, you should give her some resources online that can educate her on Trans gender individuals. Do you think that's an option?

 

At least it seems she will improve with time..I think if she says she still loves you, she will try and learn more about it. What type of people does she want to hear it from?

 

Kk I was just wondering if you could tell someone to talk to her about it if that's what she's looking for; but I really think she will try to learn more about it.

 

I think she doesn't want you to tell your grandparents because she is worried that they will "blame" her. I don't know if you want to tell your grandparents, (like I don't know how close you are) but if you did want to tell them in the future, you may want to approach it by telling your mom that it isn't "her fault"...or anybody's fault. But I would wait a little longer for your mom to let the news settle in.

As far as what she is going to do, I think time will tell. The hard part of telling her is over though

 

lol, ya i think she is just afraid of what they'll think of her, or else she wouldn't have a reason to tell you who to tell.

 

I am sorry to hear your having so many problems with you mom there is a booklet from pflag you can download it herehttp://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=594

have you thought about joining the playground? Lauras-playground is a great place for trans ppl

http://www.lauras-playground.com/
there are lots of people that are just like you there and its allround great info

dgr iam not trying to say get lost but giving you the help and i do hope this helps

 

Hi Pete and thirst thing (*hug*),

I am sorry your mother is reacting this way to the fact you're transgender. I totaly understand that this must be very difficult to live.
First thing, your mother loves you. But she has a hard time dealing with the fact her baby girl is a boy. She is probably trying to do what she thinks to be the best, except that it is not.
You can't go throught the realisation that she has a transgender child and the grieving process she has to go through instead of her.
What you can do is trying to help her going through this : first thing without letting her keeping you in the closet. The more out you'll be, the less she'll prossibly deny who you truly are. So don't let her choose who you have to be out to. If you want to come out to your grand-parents, then go for it (and don't let her threatening you, no one knows how they'll react to this, and grand-parents can sometimes accept their grand-children the way they are far more easily than parents do.)
Second thing, as she take as an excuse she doesn't know about it, provide her some educational material about transgender issues. You mother is scared because she doesn't understand what she has to deal with. Education is the best way to fight this kind of fears.
Here is a link to a Pflag booklet about accepting and welcoming transgender family members, that could be a start.
http://community.pflag.org/Document.Doc?id=202
Last but not least : get some support. You have started coming out to your friends and family, and I am happy for you that at least some of them are supportive. Maybe attending a GSA, or another LGBT association could be very helpful.
Last but not least hold on. It is your happiness that matters. You have just started a long process. Be patient and keep hope.
Take care, (*hug*)

 

Well, you can at least try to give her these booklets. Even if she doesn't want to read them now, or with you around, she may read them in a few days, or weeks, or months.
The way you give them to her might be important too. You can try an approach telling her that you understand this is very difficult for her to accept your transgender, and that you have tried to find some things to help her dealing with this. I think it's important to make it about her, and not about you.
On a side note, I think the fact she is crying when she is looking at you, even if this is very upsetting, may mean that she starts to realise that you truly are transgender, and that she is getting out denial. Once again, give her time. She has to grieve the daughter she had to be able to truly accept you as her son.
I totaly understand that it must be a very tough time to go through right now. But keep in mind 61 days (even if it seems long) are nothing in a life. You'll be able to find some support in college. Until there, keep talking to your sister, to the one of your friends who are supportive, and feel free to make as many posts as you need on EC.
You have our full support.
Hold on, and take care (*hug*) Cécile