Good old gay drama

Hello, I'm Alex, and I'm going to be a jr. this fall. I don't know what to do next, but first I have a long story (sorry).

Anyway, there is this guy (let's call him X) at my school. He will be a sophmore, and we are good friends. I've liked X since he came out of the closet in january, and even before that i think.

Back In mid-may, I finally asked X out, and he said that he was seeing someone. Now he said that he was seeing this someone back in late march, however he described this someone as "22 yrs. old, and living in Ohio". I do not find this rational, for a 15 year old to be dating a 22 yr. old; and the fact that this guy lives far from the chicago area. I know that he hasn't just told me this, because he told quite a few people at my school about this guy, and even showed pictures. So something doesn't work here.

Now, the other irrational part of this whole thing is that X says that this guy is moving close by in August. Now I know something is going to fail in August. If this guy is even real, I'm sure X's parents won't approve. And if the guy is someone else, X would obviously back out. My question is when this ends..should I hesitate asking X out again? I still like him, and I think he is just falling for this guy accidently.

Let me know if this all confusing, I tried to cut it short. Thanks everyone :icon_bigg

 

I've been in X's situation before, although the people were all of my own age. Well, there were a few who didn't have webcams, so I suppose that I can't say that they were all of my age. I went online for comfort because I really love this guy and when I told him that he completely broke my heart and ditched me. That was over a year ago and for that entire time up until a month ago I've been going from guy to guy online.

That isn't necessarily X's reason for his behaviour, but he most certainly does have a reason. You should talk to him, if that wouldn't be too awkward. I know that I would have loved for a guy to show that he cared and had true interest in me. Don't raise any issues with the age difference at first (or at all, if you find that possible), because he'll see you as close-minded and judgemental. In any case, you are very right about the age. Although age differences matter less as people grow into maturity (for example, both sets of my grandparents were born in different decades), younger people generally can't work a functioning relationship with someone who is significantly older or younger than them (around two to three years or more).

The whole moving close by deal is a bit worrying, personally, but take that sentiment of mine with a grain of salt; I'm quite the paranoid person.

 

Well he is right...but you have to remember that love is not atvall rational...so his feelings dont have to be rational if he really likes him

 

i think it would be odd talking to X because remember I asked X out. But yes I also worry about the moving close by thing.
I had planned on just waiting until August, and I think I shouldn't hesitate going back to him. Especially because now you helped me understand why he might be meeting other guys online...

 

Talk to him. Ask him what's up. Don't bring up another date right away, that wouldn't go well ... but it's better to try to do something about it in case it is a bad situation waiting to happen than wait until you know it's bad; by then it would be too late.

 

Is it completely random if I just bring it up? X never talks about this guy, and it's been over a month since I asked him out.

 

Start with small talk, but I really do think that you should bring the topic up.

 

Omg i thought for a second that the thread's title was good old gay grandma. I was thinking wtf is that about? :lol:

 

:lol: "Good old gay grandma" ..that would have caught my eye too!

I will definitely give it more thought. Thanks

 

Not a problem.

I only wish that I had a gay grandma. :lol:

 

Wow I dealt with this same thing with this guy I liked. He was dating this guy from Washington DC and he lived in Aylmer, ON. What a surprise to me when after five months they no longer were together lol. I don't know how you can ask him out again when/if it fails. But good luck is all I can really say.

 

One of my friends (she's Korean!) was in the same situation. Except, the ordeal was a little more in-depth with her. She also met some guy online (a gaming forum, if my memory serves me right...) and went on to further communicate with him, and even date him. She told me because she considers me a very good friend (D'aww, shucks...) and wanted my opinion on the matter. Apperently, he was going to come down to Texas and take her on a date. I, myself, wasn't very comfortable with the idea; I mean, from what she told me, he was older and seemed to know a thing or two about the situation. I didn't want to tell her "No, it's a bad idea because [yada yada]" and wanted to be supportive of her, but I also didn't feel right encouraging the idea. I only told her to do what she thought was safe. Surely, she had good judgement (choosing to tell me and all! ) and I had a lot of faith in her, but only reminded her not to do ANYTHING she was uncomfortable with. I constantly reminded her of this, and the date went rather well, from what I remember.

I'm not saying that the guy moving down to see X is a good idea, but make sure X knows he needs to be EXTREMELY cautious, and aware of what he is doing. It's not that the idea of the age-difference is irrational, but how that is looked-upon in our society. Normally, we associate older men on the internet talking with younger men (even boys) pedophiles. I'm not bashing out that all older men are, but the amount of cases in our time leads us to assume the worst. Again, make sure he being EXTREMELY (I can't stress that enough) cautious. I even tried texting my Korean friend during their date to see how she was feeling. I was willing to drive and pick her up from the location if she felt the slightlest bit uncomfortable. G'luck!

 

Thanks again..let me know if this changes any thoughts

X never talks about this guy. And not just with me, but with anyone. If you asked about this guy, X would talk about him, however X wouldn't bring him up. In fact, on X's facebook it says that he's looking for a relationship (it said that when I asked him out too).

I think it may be odd if I bring it up. Ideally X would bring it up and I'd tell him to be careful..that would work well with me. X also talks to one of my best friends about his relationships, so I could tell this friend to warn him also if he brings this guy up. That wouldn't be weird at all. She's one of the 7 that knows about me.

 

Yeah ... this has all of the signs of being a very bad situation. The times when I didn't bring it up to my friends were ... unhealthy. Even though it might not be in this case, since we don't know that much about his situation at the moment, it's better to consider it as one at this point and help him in any way you can.

 

meh..this whole thing would be more fun if it was gay grandma! loL

Yeah, time for me to start figuring this out..

 

Update us on the situation when you know more.

... or if you find a gay grandma. :lol:

 

:lol:lol absolutely!

 

I decided that I could warn X, however I have a friend that is really close to him, and knows about me. I asked her to warn him, and she said she would, and that she'd let me know when she did.

 

All righty.

 

Well..it doesn't matter anymore. X broke up with this guy, and went back to another guy (who I actually know)...instead of me...the other guy is in the closet too. So I don't care anymore about getting together with X.