So, I recently went onto meds to treat my depression (they haven't started to work yet, should take a few weeks) and I'm kinda upset about that. How could I have gotten this worked up over a stupid break-up that happened half a year ago? I thought I was over him and then...it all just crashed on me! I lost so much of the progress I'd made on getting past him, on building my self-esteem, on feeling like I wasn't just an inferior copy of him. WTF? How can I feel like a worthwhile person if I've been brought to this? It's so...pathetic. Plenty of people endure worse without help. And I feel like the drugs will, at best, just delude me. And yes, I'm seeing a counselor, trying to eat well and exercise, all that good stuff. This is more a vent than anything.
well, you're not wrong for feeling that way. the heart wants what the heart wants, and your brain is just as impossible to control. ever notice that when you don't want to think of something you can't stop thinking about it? what i mean is don't think that theres something wrong with you cause you can't get over a guy or because you keep thinking bad things. it's perfectly normal, and sure, many people go through worse situations, but it's not that they get over their problems better, people that don't need help may be wrong. theres a tendency to build mental walls and just never deal with those situations again, or becoming numb to aspects of life. they don't really get over it, they just change their nature so it can't hurt anymore, and that's usually just as dangerous because later on it's harder to trust people or get close to anyone.
I think you're looking at this the wrong way. Your psychiatrist prescribed you medication for depression, not for "not being able to get over him". While your ex may work out to be the scapegoat and seeming issues of your feelings, there's something wrong with the chemical levels in your brain, otherwise medication wouldn't have been prescribed. This may actually be your medication beginning to work, depending on when you started taking it. Dosage is not an exact science, and the wrong dose can actually cause your bod to start rejecting the new chemicals, so you're a bit more depressed. This is why it is important to tell your doctor what effects the medication is having. The medication does need a bit of time to balance out with the body though, as you said, so until your moods are consistent I would expect some mood swings.
Don't feel bad that a break-up causes you to feel sorrow. It's totally natural, even if some people out there don't understand it. My first break-up (ironically with a female) turned me into the emo kid I am today who stays up all night writing depressing poetry (lmao), and I've been on all sorts of anti-depressants throughout my life. Unfortunately, for me they didn't work. Not because the prescriptions were wrong or anything, but because I didn't believe that they would. Surprisingly enough, that whole "mind over matter" mantra actually does work sometimes. I'm not saying you should just convince yourself that you're okay when deep down you're not, but if you truly believe that this medicine will help you get better, you'll be pleasantly surprised when you start seeing results. I hope that they do kick in soon and help lighten your mood. Just know you aren't going through it alone!
broken hearts mend in time. Most of us have been there, either in love or in life, when we look back and notice we haven't come as far as we thought. It sucks, but you're trying to deal, which makes you the exact opposite of pathetic. I've never been a big fan of the: there-are-people-who-have-it-worse-then-you speech. it doesn't change the fact that you are going through a rough time. I think you're a lot stronger then you give yourself credit for (I do that too) you're seeing a counselor, your doing your best not to shut down, you're doing what you can with what you've got in the situatuio that you're in. It may not seem like much, but that is really all you CAN do. Hang in there pal, and Good luck out there
