I was just posting some pieces of advice on another thread when I got to thinking of the term "out". It might be just me, or I just don't understand the term all-together. The way I see it, people are struggling to be "out" to their schools, family, friends, and society. But precisely what does that mean? Does it mean that if someone where to ask it, they won't deny it? Or that (excuse the example) they'd run around the streets and hallways screaming they're gay? Personally, I won't deny it if anyone where to ask me. But I also won't go around screaming it in people's faces (I just don't see it as their business). However, if I do make a new friend and they don't have the nerve or audacity to bring it up to me, I do tell them. :] If they reject me as a friend, their loss. Along the lines of visage and tangabilities (i.e Rainbow clothing, holding a boy's/girl's hand, Pride Parades...) I can understand. Walking down the halls with a rainbow shirt would technically be the same as screaming it out loud. As goes with holding the same sexes' hand (or lips, whichever you prefer). Or is it more along the lines of self acceptance and family matters; being "out" as in, accepting it within yourself or telling your parents. Because I've told mine, but I don't consider myself "out" (hence, I don't fully understand the term). Perhaps I'm missing something, or I wasn't educated formaly in the LGBT society. In other words: Who needs to know for you to be "out"? XD EDIT: Would being "out" be the conquering of the feelings of embarassment and nerves you get when you talk about being "gay"? Or the getting over the self-conscious aspect of the conversation that you feel when people are "overhearing" you? If so, these sound like personal problems, rather than telling someone else.
Hmm. To me, "out" just means that if someone were to come up and ask me of my sexuality, I wouldn't lie to them. I'd be honest and even be willing to answer questions if there were any. I don't feel the need to scream to the world because I don't feel the urge to tell people who wouldn't care. I had a friend in high school who tried to stress his heterosexuality since freshman year, but he came out in an essay for our senior year government class (discussing same-sex marriage), and the next day, he came to school with his hair faux-hawked up with rainbow colours. Don't really think that was necessary Some people like to go all out and really put it on display, and that's totally cool for them. It's just not for me. Anyways, yeah, when I say that I'm "out", I just mean that I'll entertain people's thoughts if they come up to me first. Though, I know it's different than most people's definition
I simply don't want to hide it, which would automatically make it knowledge to everyone with whom I make conversation ... so, a fair amount of people, ranging in the multiple dozens if I count everyone. My extended family doesn't need to know, as I don't see them often anyhow, though I did tell my gay uncle. My mom knows, but I don't think that telling my brother or dad is necessary. I feel fine without them knowing.
They ask, I tell. I think its nice for close family members to know. Keeps the out of the dark and such. Plus it stops the "Do you have a gf/ bf questions." xD Friends and such too. More transparency and trust really.
So, there are multiple definitions of the term "out"; each ranging depending on who you want to be. Right?
*shrug* Well, I guess so. I just didn't want to give my version and say, "This is what it means," because it means something different to everyone... I honestly don't know if there is supposed to really be any one meaning to the term. All I know is what it means to me. -nods-
You cant really define hard as what out is. To one person, Being out to one person is classed as out while someone else would think they need to be out to the world!
I think of it as I let people know who I am, and I am completely honest about my bisexuality. Though I'm not nearly out to everyone, I'm out to twelve people currently, and I feel comfortable talking about it with them. I'm not afraid to hide this piece of me anymore.
Okay. :] That makes mucho-senso. So, those that are afraid of the, for example, rejection of aquaintances and want to be out don't necessarily need to tell them to be "out". As long as they tell who they're comfortable telling, they're "out". XD? This is confusing me.
In my opinion that's exactly what it is, i believe that your sexuality isn't something that you should go out to the streets and shout out so i think that when you tell the people that you want to tell then you are "out". I told a few of my friends and my parents and i feel pretty "out", and it's a great feeling at least now i wont get anymore "so do you have a girlfriend" question, those were incredibly annoying. But if you feel like you need to tell everyone about it then that's your choice and you might aswell do it.
Yes exactly that. You dont need to be out to every Tom, Dick, Harry, Bob and Brian to be out. Just to those who you want to be out too. Everything else will fall into place eventually.
I guess I'd define out as being comfortable telling anyone about your sexuality, but also having told the people you love and care about that you're gay. Which I guess you could say is a step in the direction of accepting and being comfortable with yourself. You're out, whenyou can be gay, and it's not a big deal anymore I guess
Being out absolutely means the people you want to tell know. For me, though, what it means more than anything is this: When I talk about being gay, even if it's the first time I'm letting that person know I'm gay, I don't feel like I'm outing myself. I don't feel like I'm revealing anything, anymore than I'm revealing anything when I talk about my love of books. It means I can generally treat it as a given.
Being out really doesn't have a set definition for everyone, except that you've at least accepted it yourself or told someone about it. To me, for example, it means not hiding it, and telling some people. No more playing with pronouns to get away from things, no more making out in a locked room worrying about my roommate walking in. I like to play with the straight people every now and then, once I realize they're oblivious (it took one girl 4 months until someone told her, and I was even using the correct pronouns!), but I make jokes about myself or point out good looking guys often enough that if they don't get it, well, they're blind. To me, being out also means being able to go out in public, to the mall or a show, and hold hands or kiss your significant other, but some people don't like to do that. It's up to the individual what "out" is to them.
