1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Depressed and jealous

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Justindee13, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. Justindee13

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2009
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Acton, California
    so lately i have been very jealous which leads me to be alone which me to be depressed. so not sure what is going I feel like I want to punch some guys in the face that dont even look at me nor care. I had my yearbook signed and I felt like it was a an apology card saying srry for all the grief and insults and honestly it made me feel like shit. Everyone telling me to Relax with school. Aggh pissed off cause I cant even talk to the guys I would like to nor my best friends.
    Help:bang::bang::bang:
     
  2. Mogget

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    New England
    You're clearly upset, which made your post somewhat garbled, so let me see if I've got this right:

    You've either been feeling lonely and really envying others' relationships or feel like a certain person(s) ought to be with you and isn't. But that envy has made it hard for you to find someone else, making you more lonely and depressed. And it feels like no one really cares about you, they're just pretending, and maybe signing your yearbook out of guilt. And you may have some friend problems.

    That's really, really familiar to me. If you look through all the threads I've started, you may notice a lot of what you've said as a reoccurring theme in my life. Which is to say, you're not alone. So, some general advice:

    It's okay to be jealous. It is. It's a perfectly natural emotion. And there's really only a handful of ways to deal with it: avoid the people in question, focus on trying to notice other attractive people, masturbate (not to them, which can be tough), and focus on the task at hand. When you do find the jealousy rising, just stop and say, "[Such-and-such] made me feel jealous. Which makes me unhappy, but that's okay and I can move on to a new thought." Which isn't easy, but is doable.

    Re-engage with your friends. Break down some TMI barriers. Everyone needs someone they can say anything to. I have a friend who I can talk about everything from what I want in bed to how I might kill myself, and she can do the same. It's not easy to get there, but having some people you can vent to is wonderful (best method in my experience is to let them vent to you). But not just for that, also simply for the fun of being with and around your friends. Engage, do stuff, talk, watch movies, go for bike rides. It will help.

    Know that the world watches you much less than it seems like. Most people are too wrapped in their own little worlds to care that much about people who aren't active friends or enemies. They generally only notice their friends' pain when it's brought to their attention. Which also means that a lot of people who seem not to care actually would if they knew you were hurting.

    Finally, the big one, there is nothing wrong with you. Memorize it, recite it, believe it. And recognize that it is both empowering and terrifying. There is nothing wrong with you, and you're going to be fine.