I have this "friend",who I've known for about 3 1/2 yrs.We only had eachother for the longest time and Iv'e helped him through his downtimes.Brought him food when he was starving,put him up in my room when he gave up on his family,and talked him out of doing some very stupid things.I've hugged him when he needed a hug,and one time he even said he loved me(as a friend).Now he has a g/f,a job and a real life to live,but I feel left out.I go over to his house and try to have conversations with him and his g/f,but sometimes when I talk I eithewr get cut of or they act as if i never said anything.I told him once that I loved him in front of his g/f and he just looked at me as if it was the dumbest thing he has ever heard.We have been doing this thing where we plan to do something,and him and his g/f go and do it instead of him and me:bang: .He never calls,comes over,and doesn't help me like I helped him.I told him once that I was really stressed and took it out on myself and he just acted as if it was nothing.I really don't think he is a very good friend at all,but he is all I've got(except for you guys(&&&) ).I want to stop seeing him,but its hard to do when you really have nothing else.:icon_redf
That is a tough situation to be in and for sure it is more than a bit unbalanced. Unfortunately it happens frequently enough but the thing you need to do is not feel you are trapped and can't do anything about it. Most often we lock ourselves into things and feel we can't change them, when in reality that is correct because it involves another person we like but we can't change that person, we can only change ourselves. Don't limit yourself to that one person instead attend social functions or find places where you can meet people and become engaged in other activities. Most often it is our own attitude that prevents us from expanding out and being engaged. We feel we are not interesting enough, loving enough or cool enough to others, so tend to accept the situations we find ourselves in. That you are not a priority in this friend's life at this time is evident so it is time to move on, not totally disengage with him, but make him less of a priority in your life. When our expectations are not met, it brings greater disappointment. Change what you feel and think about yourself and go out where you have opportunity to meet others. Yes, it may be lonely at first but you just might meet another who just thinks you are the best thing going. Just remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained and as long as we argue for our limitations, we will always have them. Think and do differently, one point of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results. Change what you can, you and attitude is about it.
wow,thanks for that great advise,I do have somethings lined up for social events I will attend,mostly meetings,they might help,I always forget about them,but you just reminded me of them,that's even better:icon_bigg
Im sorry for what hapened Ilayis Well, you see, not all teh tiem that we can recieve what we give..., but, just want to let you know, this is life, anything could happen and peopel are chnaged, too, at first they act like you are their best friend, but when they have someone else, they act like you are nothing at all, even tho you thought that you will be with this person forever in the 1st place So... as you said, this guy is not a good guy after all, i mean if he was embrassed whne you told him you love him in front of hi gf, he should let you say it on the phone, but he even ignored you with that But he did make it clear that he just loved you as a friend, ss this could be no relationship envolved, and he has teh right to be with someone else, but the way he ignored you and didnt pay back your help, was really mean So , do anything you could to forget bout him, becuz if you talk to him again, he'll even hurt you more than before Like Jayhew said, envolved in community activities, do thinsg that can distract you from him and all teh sadness, forgive him for being such a bad dude, cuz forgive mean forget!
well,I figured out a good way to not see or talk to him.Ever since I've been on EC,I've been to involved in this website to even really think about him,or going to his apartment.This keeps me away,and I have a great time doing it!All of you have actually made me think better of myself and my life.That's cheesy,but I don't care.I love this website and everything that goes with it!!!!!!!!
i think ur doin the best thing u can do and that to not think about him and not to let it get to you. i know its hard when i friend acts like that but to me if he was ur true friend things with you 2 wouldnt be any diff now even with his new g/f.
