Background: I'm out to everyone who matters/I can tell at the moment. My friends and sis have known for over a month and in some cases 2-3 months. I've received nothing but support. Issue: I have trouble seeking out gay men, alone or with my friends (none of whom are gay). I feel like I am in the 7th grade. I used to be / still am (annoyingly) very sauve with the ladies because they never posed a threat to me as I was not seriously interested in them. However, now that there is the option for true rejection because I actually care what happens I get all clammed up. Some guy at the bar smiled at me from across the room and usually I'd have smiled and brushed it off. He was hot as hell and I felt like the entire world was watching and his eyes could pierce my soul. Holy intense. :icon_bigg:icon_redf:help: I assume time and practice are the best practices here and perhaps some gay friends. Any suggestions or words of wisdom? I've taken so many great steps forward and my 'mack,' skills have deminished to school boy crush status. I enjoy the feelings, their amazing, but I'd love to be able to overcome them and get myself out there a bit, ya know? End ramblings - The BC
The best thing you can do is be yourself and don't think of the consequences. If you smile back at the guy, what's the worst that could happen? In most of these situations rejection only means you're back where you started from. I wouldn't worry about it, you'll get more comfortable flirting with guys the more practice you get. Don't forget, you've had a long time to practice flirting with girls, and it's more socially acceptable, so it's a lot easier. All things take time.
Don't worry--I've been out for almost five years, and I'm STILL uncomfortable flirting with guys. The conventional wisdom, which is probably correct, says that if you are nice, genuine, and honest, suddenly, talking to guys won't be an issue. Of course, easier said than done, right? The truth is, gay people have to deal with a very complex set of issues that straight people don't necessarily encounter: the possibility that a person one is interested in might not actually be gay, leading to somewhat embarrassing consequences; the "newness" of flirting with people of the same sex; the difficulty of finding people with whom to flirt; and so on. Well, forget all these issues! They may exist, but they shouldn't hold you back. And if a guy says no, who cares? He's not good enough if he can't appreciate who you are.
