Ok, so I'v talked about my friend J and his gay friend he wants to hook me up with. We've gone out as a group a few times and it's been really fun. He's nice and he's cute and fun to be around. But it's making me nervous. I guess everyone gets nervous at things like this but I'v never been in a relationship before with anyone really (I dated some girls but it was really just a great friendship, for obvious reasons). I honestly don't know what I'm doing here at all. I have a feeling things might progress a little but I also worry that things are progressing because J wants us together. Sometimes I feel like he's trying to push us both along this path so that we'll date some point down the line. And that's cool and all but his friend has been out a lot longer than I have and he's 100% out, which i'm not entirely yet (though last night i almost did and I wanted to, but my roommate was in no condition to remember anything I said to him anyways, I regret not telling him). He's also had a few boyfriends before. I'v never had a boyfriend and never REALLY hooked up with anyone.... aside from like one time that is a little fuzzy in my memory. So what do I do here? Should I just go with it and try not to think about these things? Should I make a move? I have no idea what I should do in this situation now, especially since I dont know how much J has said about me. I don't know if his friend knows that I'm not entirely out to everyone and that I'v never been with a guy before, and that this is all really new to me. It's weird when the other person has so much experience and I dont. I guess it's gotta start somewhere though right? So any advice people have, would be very helpful. Thanks!
If you like him, go for it. If you're nervous though let J and his friend know that you don't want to rush into anything, that you're not out to everyone yet. If it doesn't feel awkward, tell the gay friend that dating guys is a relatively new experience for you. Even though he's more experienced than you, he might feel as much pressure from J as you do to get into a relationship. That's what I'd do. Hope I helped.
Hi there! I think it really comes down as to whether you would be and are comfortable with dating J's gay friend. Thinking about everything, ask yourself: "Would I be comfortable with dating J's gay friend and what this could mean further down the road?" Just going blindly into it and not giving it some thought, and also knowing more about how you feel about it, could end up hurting you emotionally more so, should things not go well. Should you decide to date him and give it a try, and given that this would be your first dating experience with a guy who already had a couple of boyfriends/relationships, I do think that it would be important that you let him know where your boundaries are and what you are comfortable with and to take it slow. Maybe even before making it an 'official' date, go out for a bite to eat or for a coffee with J's friend and try to get to know him a bit more before asking him out. This could help you in determining as to whether you are comfortable with going on a date with him or pursuing it. Try not let J influence you on that decision though. I hope this helps a bit!
Ok update. I'm hanging out with j and his friend again for the 4 th and tonight too. Anyways, I have a formspring account where people can ask me questons anonymously. Iv been getting a lot of questions regarding sexual experiencces... The thing is I only have a few and I can't really talk about them because the guys iv done stuff with were just experimenting And we were drunk when those things happened and I would hate for everyone to know about those situations for their sakes... I know he's leavingin September for Australia and maybe just wants to hook up but is it really worth it? I just don't know what to do really. I want to hook up but I know deep down I really want a relationship and I don't want to end up getting hurt or something
You have to do what you're comfortable with. If it were me, I'd steer away from going past being "friends" with someone I know is going to be moving out of the country in the near future. I agree with Mirko, though, that you should be careful not to let J's influence or your friendship with J pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. Hope this helps!
I would not let J's influence make me do anything I wasn't comfortable with. And to be honest, He'd never put me in a situation that I would make a choice without be informed. He's my best friend and he's very trustworthy. He honestly wouldnt pressure me into anything bad. He only pressures me into hanging out when I say no and he knows I have no reason not to and that I'll have a good time or i'll benefit from hanging out with him (which seems to be the case frequently). He's legit one of the best friends anyone could ever have. He's 100% honest and not afraid to speak his mind and not afraid to open up.
I'll be posting something like this soon, I think. If it were me, I'd avoid a relationship with someone that I knew is going to be moving away. Is his moving permanent? Sorry if I missed that part. Good luck!
I wouldn't pursue this if I were you. I think his being 100% out and you not being out to everyone would kinda cause little fights. "Why can't we go here?"....."When am I gonna meet your parents?"...stuff like that. Don't get serious with this guy 'cause that's what his friend wants. Only if it's what you want. I myself would enjoy his company until he moves. I wouldn't want my 1st time to be with someone who's moving so soon. Even if you were crazy in love with the guy, he's moving. Like I said, I think just hanging out like you're doing would be the better choice.
Yeah I guess you're right. Except for the little fights about coming out. I'm much morelikely to come out to my parents and roommates with him in the picture.
Really? Wow I personally don't know if that would help or make things harder for myself. I plan on coming out after I move out, that way if there's any awkwardness about between my parents and me, I can always escape it as oppose to being stuck living in the same house with that can of worms opened lol.
I feel you!! If you're on you're own, you don't have to worry about them running you off.. I've experienced that haha.
