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What the hell is going on with me? And low self confidence...?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ANightDude, Jun 30, 2010.

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  1. ANightDude

    ANightDude
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    I'm sitting here, not knowing what to do.

    Every time I fail at something or do something wrong, my mood completely changes. I can go from so happy to so sad in minutes, or even seconds. I change so much, these mood swings are annoying. I feel so stuck in where I am, like my life can never get better. Like I said in a previous thread, I just feel like half the time God created me to torture me for his amusement or something.

    I think so low of myself. I just edited a video with myself, and I just keep thing things like, "Wow, you look so weird," and "Look at you, you're so fucking ugly," "Stop making these. They're terrible and no one gives a shit". I sometimes love myself, and at other times hate myself. Even when I come on here and explain this, I just feel like I'm complaining more than I'm asking, and that people are annoyed with me because I guess I complain so much.

    I'm so lost guys. I'm crying as I write this. I just don't know what to do.
     
    #1 ANightDude, Jun 30, 2010
  2. Gerry

    Gerry
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    I'm really sorry you're feeling that way. None of us here on EC think poorly of you or think that you're just complaining for the sake of it. Maybe there is something genuinely wrong if you can go from being so happy to so sad within seconds at time. Is there a way you can speak to some professional like a doctor just to see what they say? That might be the best idea. And there's no need to put yourself down like that, you're only 16 and so much life still ahead of you. :slight_smile: Please don't think so lowly of yourself. I've spoken to you one-on-one before on here and you seem like such a nice, genuine person.

    P.S. I've seen a few of your videos before and I genuinely enjoy them. And I think a lot of people feel the same way. If you ever want to talk privately, feel free to PM me. Take care. (*hug*)
     
    #2 Gerry, Jun 30, 2010
  3. malachite

    malachite
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    Funny you should mention that I often feel like God's play thing.

    As far as self confidence goes it isn't something that is easy to find. The hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it.

    We all fail sometimes, but failure doesn't have to last forever.
    What are these things you're failing at? Do they really matter?
    Ask you're yourself if this something that worth getting up set over, take a breath, take moment, collect yourself.

    Finding something that YOU like about you, can seem really hard but try to do it. Think of something you like about you, and don't use what other people think or other people's percpetions.

    Life is long race and in the end its only with yourself.
     
    #3 malachite, Jun 30, 2010
  4. GoinStag

    GoinStag
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    I feel that way too. I feel like I complain about everything and people are just sighing in that annoyed voice as they read my posts. I can honestly relate to the mood swing thing seriously just 2 hours ago I was feeling fine, then I just totally shut down. I laid in bed for 2 hours listening to depressing music thinking about my shitty grades in school, my crush that will most likely never give me a second look, and my poor relationship with my family.

    It kinda sounds like you might have depression. I've had it for almost 3 years I got put on meds in like october. I don't know you inside-and-out but I can relate to pretty much everything you just put down. If you need to talk just message me, it helps knowing that someone can relate 'cause you're not on your own trust me.
     
    #4 GoinStag, Jun 30, 2010
  5. Mirko

    Mirko
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    Hi there! (*hug*)

    As Gerry mentioned above seeing a counselor might not be a bad idea to talk about things and whatever might be bothering you. It could also help you in bringing up your low self-esteem and change the way you think about yourself.

    There are things you can do to change the perception of yourself. Start by standing in front of the mirror once a day, and observe yourself. try to concentrate on one thing. It can be your hair that you styled, it can be your nose, ears, whatever. Then, start saying out loud: "I like my hair the way it looks." The next morning, do it again. After a couple of times, move to something else. Maybe instead of concentrating on your hair, maybe say "hey, I like the way my nose looks." Or, if you have a small mole or freckles concentrate on that by saying "that looks pretty neat where it is." Do that for a couple of times. Then, start combining things and expand on it. In other words, when you stand in front of the mirror say to yourself out loud: "I like the way my hair looks because....."

    While you are doing that also start, as malachite mentioned, concentrating on things that you like about yourself. And it doesn't matter what it is. It can be a hobby that you love pursuing, or even the fact that you like making YouTube videos. All of these things say something great about you. You have a talent which helps to define you. Remember that your talents and qualities that help to define you and are something that you can be proud off. For example, when you have uploaded a YouToube video that you worked on for a few hours or perhaps even a couple of days, pad yourself on the shoulder and tell yourself: "I did that!"

    Your life can get better. You won't be stuck forever. Start working on the things that you know you can start working on by yourself. If you have to make a list, write it all out. Place the things that you can work on by yourself on the top. Start working on them. If you come across something where you need help, ask for help. Talk to a friend, your parents or a counselor. There is no shame in asking for help. In fact asking for help will allow you to move forward.

    And finally, I want you to click on this. Then I want you to stand in front a mirror, look at yourself, and say it out loud a few times.

    (*hug*)
     
    #5 Mirko, Jun 30, 2010
  6. coolguy144

    coolguy144
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    Well, for the record, I don't think you're ugly at all!! And time will help things, just be patient. I know it's hard. Trust me. I've been there before. But, just keep thinking ahead because you're in control of your destiny.
     
    #6 coolguy144, Jul 1, 2010
  7. BrettV

    BrettV
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    Therapy will do wonders ... with the right therapist. I'm going through similar feelings as we speak. My mood changes so abruptly. i can be happy one second to literally crying the next. I'm successful career-wise, but I've never been happy in all my life. I feel like I've always been acting a part. And I feel like the people who've been there for me, through this period, are bothered when I talk about how I'm feeling.

    Again. Therapy. I'm fortunate to have an amazing therapist. We're working through it. In fact, he recommended this website to me.

    Btw, you're certainly not ugly. Young, but certainly not ugly.

    Good luck to you!!
     
    #7 BrettV, Jul 2, 2010
  8. x2x2x2x2y2

    x2x2x2x2y2
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    Look for the things you like about yourself and focus on those things. Remind yourself that nobodys perfect and everyone fails and makes mistakes sometimes. You just gotta focus on the positives. And whatever things you failed at use them. Learn from them so that in the future you will be smarter and succeed.

    P.s. I've seen your posts on here and you seems pretty cool.
     
    #8 x2x2x2x2y2, Jul 2, 2010
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