... got depresed as usual because i'm not out and i want to be like them and i don't know how.:tears:
I'm going to suggest that you're already like them... But I know you mean by being "out." You could start by telling us who exactly you're out to at the moment, who you want to know. Also, you may want to write down all the reasons why you want to come out, and all of the things you are worried about that is stopping you from doing so.
Hi there! No worries, with time, you will be able to be out just like them and enjoy life the way you are meant to live it. As you become more comfortable with yourself and coming out to others you will increasingly have the feeling of being like them or having the chance to live your life. What might help you a bit is if you (perhaps and if you feel ready and comfortable) try coming out to the gay guys. If you know and trust them a bit and feel that you can come out to them, maybe give it a try. Try to get to know them better. In some ways it could really help you in coming out to them in that they could become part of your support network. If you get to know at least one of them better, you might have someone with whom you can talk about things more in depth. Maybe use your want to be 'like them' as a motivation to come out further. Perhaps (and if you haven't yet) try joining a LGBT support group in your area. That could also help you in taking the next steps. Hope this helps a bit!
well i'll probably get over it soon so I was hoping no one would bother responding but thanks for doing so. Just one of my friends from school who I told recently, but she's someone i haven't actually seen in years. And even though she was great I still feel embarrassed thinking that i've told her... If I actually met her again i'd feel really nervous. Also I'm pretty sure a few other people have guessed something but I haven't said anything to them. everyone I don't want to do nothing forever and then just die without anyone knowing I wish I would. I can't see it happening yet:icon_sad:
Congratulations on coming out to your friend! That's already quite something, and there is nothing to feel embarrassed about. You should be proud of that accomplishment. Well, how would you feel about joining a support group in your area?
there is one group as far as i know, but one or two of my friends are in that organization so they'd have to know everything. I know rationally I shouldn't feel ashamed but i just do, I can't help it. even if they're gay too I don't feel like saying it to them
Just remember that your friends were in the closet once too. They know what's going on, and will likely respect you if you decide to stay in the closet for a bit longer. We've all been there at one point or another.
omg... I'm in the same situation! I hate it i came on here tonight to post something for help and found your post. I hate the closet it's a bad place to be. I check out guys so much that I'm sure people have guessed but I need a relationship with a guy! I need to be able to call a guy my boyfriend. Every day all I think about is how to come out and who will except me and how will my life change but I can't seem to get myself to tell anyone because once you say it everything changes and you can never take it back! but emptyclosets is a great place to be! Good luck with everything!
I know, me too I'm thinking about coming out all the time but can't get myself to do anything! I wish I knew what it was like to have a boyfriend. Good luck to you too!
hi Alan Well alot of us have been in your situation(and hated it),but from personal expierience i would say if your wishing everyone knew you will soon start getting the urge to tell people.Once you start telling everyone it gets easier every time as you begin to realise that most people just dont care. When you feel ready,dont put it off and waste another 15 years,coming out at 40 as i did. Only you can decide when,but good luck anyway.
I'm sorry you feel that way but if you aren't comfortable with coming out there's nothing wrong with that. You can't help how you feel. Idk why you aren't out, but we live in a society were we're taught that gay is different/weird/wrong. You'll know when you're ready. I haven't come out to anyone. Sometimes I get SO close, but then back off. I'm gonna wait 'till I'm moved out of my parents houses so if things get weird I'm not stuck living with them lol.
A year ago, this was me. Meeting gay people would make me depressed and bring me close to being suicidal. I saw them and they were so free and I hated it. I couldn't figure out why I couldn't be like that but I knew I couldn't. It's incredibly hard to take that first step and actually tell someone. For me, I had built up an act of being straight which was built on lies and mistruths. When this started to come crashing down I realized that I needed to come out. It's a huge unknown. I don't like uncertainty and coming out scared me. I felt like after the words come out, there would be no turning back. You need to tell people, you just have to take that first step. Unless you do you will continue to be depressed. For me, coming out hasn't been without it's difficulties. It's been an experience of incredible highs and incredible lows and I still get depressed. However, I have no regrets about coming out, best thing I've ever done. The only regret I have is that I didn't do it sooner. You have an amazing life available to you and if you wait too long you will miss out on years of potential happiness and you will regret it.
