So I'm finally done with my community college (it sucks!) and am transferring to a university in San Francisco. I'll be living in an apartment on campus and they pair you up with 3 other random people, you have your own room and share a common area. They give you contact info a few weeks before move in, so I was thinking of coming out in an e-mail or something. My goal has always been to just be out on Day 1, and never have to "come out" really, just kick the closet door off the hinges before I get there. :lol: Do you think this is a good idea? Normally when people move in together they'll send a little introduction e-mail so I could just subtly drop it in there, then when I add them on Facebook or whatever they'll see "Interested In: Men", so that should be kind of a dead give away. Thoughts?
Well I suppose the benefit is that if you tell them and any of them have a problem...they can always get out of being in that apartment and you have maybe a better chance of getting accepting people. *shrugs*
LOL, I know! I'm excited to live in the city and pretty much know no one will care at all, but it's still a thing that's probably better said rather than found out. Option #1 - don't tell them, bring a guy home at 2 AM, make noises in bedroom. they gasp and all go crazy wondering wtf is going on. next morning, oh hi, yeah i'm gay. :eek: Option #2 - tell them, bring a guy home at 2 AM, make noises in bedroom. nothing happens. I think I'd rather do #2 haha Now the question is - how do I subtly slip it in? It kind of sticks out a LOT.
Sound's exciteing. Option 2 I'd say, if possible. :lol: *tries not to add any sexual innuendo to this comment* :lol:
I'd say def out yourself up front. You could mention that you've been involved in LGBT activities (or plan to be) or that you're bummed you missed Pride, or you're looking forward to checking out the Castro or something like that. What part of California are you in now? How big a change will it be for you?
I live near San Jose, so it's not far away, about an hour, but pretty big change still - away from home, gayest city alive, came out for the first time just a few months ago. Should be fun I just know to not have too much fun, studies first. I want to get in and get out of there ASAP.
Man, you are really with the innuendos today Well, SF is a great city, def one of the nicest "international cities" in the US in my opinion. I lived in the east bay for about 5 years but i've decided I like slightly less dense areas better And do try and set yourself some limits. Sad to say, but among probably 25 or 30 gay guys that my friend and I know who have moved to SF from elsewhere (even 'burbs of the bay area), all but 3 of them have ended up getting caught up in the club scene and ended up with substance abuse problems. Of course our group isn't necessarily a random sample, but even the most level headed have told me they find it difficult to not get drawn in, particularly when they are just coming out. So... forewarned is at least a little forearmed... and keeping focus on school will definitely help a lot
I have a less-than-normal addiction to fitness/lifting so I don't ever drink really, maybe once a month at most and I hate clubs, so I don't think I'll have that problem
I always find that the less big of a deal you make of telling people, the less of a problem it is. Obviously with people who already accept gay people it doesn't make any difference, but a lot of people don't really know that well what to think about gays. These sorts of people it's better if you let it slip casually into conversation, or better yet, let a friend slip it casually into conversation. If you and/or your friend act as if it's no big deal, chances are they will too. Obviously, this doesn't work on people who are decidedly anti-gay, but most people aren't.
i don't think i'd write it in an email, but just add them on facebook and as you've said: then they'll see it anyway.
Funny, there are tons of people who haven't even noticed on my facebook the "man looking for men" ... weird. Especially the professional contacts. I think people just get so wrapped up in their own lives. They don't notice or care what other people are doing; even when we feel like we're under a microscope. That was, at least, my experience. Good luck!
I'm in the same boat for Fall, except at my apartment you filled out this "matchmaker" thing and I put "gay friendly" so I am very confident it shouldn't be an issue. I like the subtle approach, just be "you"- they will eventually find out "you" is gay.
