Over the last year I've been excited to go off to university. Got accepted, just had to wait out the rest of the year and all that. And I'm not really the kind of guy who deals with change fantastically, nor am I one who loves being away from home, but I couldn't wait to go away. I got an e-mail from the school the other day about residence assignments. Residence. I totally forgot about this. It just slipped my mind I guess, or I was too busy being excited about everything else. Turns out I'm rooming with another guy, who apparently has the same name as me (awkward, unless it's a glitch or something). I've never even met anyone around my age with the same name as me, so it's gonna be weird. I don't even really know why, it's just a name.. but I guess I'll be comparing him to myself all the time, since I'm all I've got to go by in terms of (my name)s? Eh, but at least we have a washroom, which is nice. I wasn't really looking forward to a communal washroom, so it makes me happy. I've gone on trips during high school and stuff, but even then I've never shared a room with anyone, let alone another guy. There was a really creepy thing in my room once, so my friend offered to let me sleep with him, but I couldn't even do that. I didn't have feelings for him then (do now, that's another story), but it was just that fear or something happening that could make the rest of the trip awkward. And then all I can think about is how it seems like everyone on the planet has sleepovers/stays at a friends/whatever without any problems whatsoever. The above friend included. It's just like "****, I wish I could do that." This seems even worse though, cause I'm living with him the next 8 months of my life. I'm sure he's a nice guy and all, and I can even deal with him being less than a nice guy, I'm just worried about that... awkwardness. It's just a whole new territory for me, and I'm starting to freak a little bit now.
He might very well be feeling the same way. I wouldn't worry too much. I take it in your residence you will be sharing a room (some residences have seperate rooms, shared kitchenette/bathroom)? Yeah it might be awkward for the first few days while you get to know eachother, but just be relaxed about it and it'll go fine. Also, sometimes they give you your roommate's e-mail address so that you can introduce yourselves.
Yeah, sharing a room. Well we've sent a couple e-mails back and forth now, he seems like a cool guy though. Added each other on FB too, and I gotta admit he's kinda cute.. though I'm not interested in him that way. Just that him being cute makes it even awkwarder for me. Oh, and he has the same name as me. Doesn't really mean anything, but it's just kinda odd. Plus his mom's maiden name is my last name... kinda weird. Plus I don't know many other people with my name (a whole 2) so I'm going to subconsciously compare myself to that. From the stuff I know about him he seems like the type of kids I never really talked with back in high school, only because I was always worried what they'd think of me, since they're "popular" and social and fit, etc.etc. and I'm not really any of the above. I'm trying to work on the latter two though, pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying to be healthier, so hopefully things go a little better. And he drinks too. I don't drink, and likely won't drink. There have been alcohol issues in my family before and I can't stand seeing people stupid when they're drunk out of their minds (among other things) but at the very least I'm not gonna let myself do it. I probably won't mind if he drinks, because it's not my issue... but it's just one more thing to think about. And finally, we're in the same program. I haven't done/studied anything remotely relevant to my program in just under a year now since I stayed behind, so I'm reaaaaally rusty. And it's just another thing for me to compare myself with, y'know. That being said, anyone got ideas on how I can stop worrying about what everyone else thinks? I know that what I do is probably low on everyones list of concerns, but I've got it stuck in my head that they care, even if they don't. Years of low self esteem and all that. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited. I'm just trying to get as much of the anxieties out of my system before the end of August hits.
