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Being bullied constantly

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by George1, Sep 13, 2007.

  1. George1

    George1 Guest

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    So at school I am being bullied a lot, being called a fag, queer, and so on (some of the other things are a bit too grotesque to say here). I've constantly asked for help from my teachers, the counsellor and coordinators in the school but nothing ever happens. No matter how many times I go to them they don't do anything! In fact, one of my teachers basically said to me 'there's nothing I can do about it'.

    Many times I've ended up injured, and a few months ago I was punched in the back of the head, resulting in concussion. The person involved just got a detention. Nothing more, nothing less.

    I have had rumors going around, saying that I "punched" a girl when in fact I was blocking her from slapping me over the head 100 times. >_>; And another person I allegedly "pushed down a set of stairs", another lie of people wanting to get rid of me. I ended up getting countless suspensions for things I DIDN'T ****ING DO. And of course there's the matter of the head of campus saying to me that because I have so many issues the only course of action that can be taken is ****ING MEDIATION. No punishments, no nothing!

    I have gotten to the point where I literally flinch if someone comes close up to me anymore, just resulting in more ridicule.
    I'm constantly threatened to be bashed up, people throw stuff at me, I'm stressed enough as it is!

    I have been close many times to hurting myself. I've learnt some self control so I haven't hurt myself recently, but I have in the past. My hair is falling out, I'm constantly getting ill, and my self confidence is just shattered.

    So far this year I've missed about a total of 2 months of school. At school they reckon it's just because I've been sick but it's really been because I needed to get away from that hell hole. You don't wanna know how much was missed last year. . .

    Now my life has turned into such a pit that even the smallest thing is sending me to tears these days. *sigh* I just wish I had someone in real life who truly understands me. There are a whole bunch of my arrogant friends that reckon they understand but they are completely off.

    I used to be able to go to people for support, but now it's the hardest thing to do next to going out of the house. I used to be able to turn to my music instruments to de-stress, but now I just can't. I can't even give my best friend a hug because he's so homophobic. Blech, what a friend. Calling me an unnatural being who deserves HIV when I told him I'm gay.

    Another so called 'friend' of me OUTED me to a whole bunch of people after we had an argument over him wanting to see my... Parts. X_X Since he outed me my life has been so annoying.

    Just as I type the patch of desk underneath my face is a puddle of tears.

    Why am I so alone? WHY am I that target to bullies? Why is it that no one does anything when I seek help? Why do the bullies get away with it? Why do people get away with attacking me? Why am I still alive?! >_<

    Ergh... I hate myself. I'm fugly, I can barely see anything (>.> glasses) and my so called 'friends' love bagging the hell out of me.

    There's much more I would love to get out of my system but I guess this is enough. Does anyone know what I should do? I'm really at my wits end about everything.
     
  2. Bryan

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    :tears: Sounds like you are having a real tough time. I am sorry that this all had to happen to you. I dont know how it works in Australia, but in the US, if someone hits you, that can go to court, and is concidered physical assult, that is horrible. Do your parents know about all of this, if they dont, you should really tell them. For the time being, you probally want to do two things, one, take a self-defense class, sounds like you need it (In your case, I would also carry around pepper spray). Two, try to find some sort of support group in your area (i.e.: PFLAG, GSA, etc) Also, just know that you arent alone, everyone at EC is here for you (&&&) Anyway, good luck with this all.
     
  3. George1

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    I can report the guy to the police if I want, but that wouldn't go down well with some people higher up in the school... And I've been going to some self defense classes (recently quit due to not having enough time free) and pepper spray wouldn't go down well... Because in the past if I've defended myself I still get the most punishment (yeah totally fair [/sarcasm]).

    *hugs* Thanks for the words of support. I'm trying to find an organization I can go to for support but there isn't really much in the suburbs. :dry: I wish I lived in the city center so bad...
     
  4. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    I don't think the pepper spray is the best idea, and self defense classes may work in the bullies' favor. It's been my experiences that the only way to have a legal edge against a bully is to not attack back at all. If you do, they can counter-sue you for assault, even if you attacked in self defense.

    By people higher up in the school, if you mean the staff, it's none of their :***:ing business if you are trying to make yourself safe. Let me rephrase that; it is their business to keep you safe, but not to keep you unsafe. I don't know what the laws are over there, but for the staff to do nothing to help you is down right wrong.

    If your parents don't know about this, you should tell them so you can get them to have your back on this. It's been my experience that in the school system, having your parents helping your cause helps greatly.
     
  5. George1

    George1 Guest

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    They do know what has been going on, and they've even gotten involved countless times. We're at the point of me moving schools.

    And by higher up people I mean like the head of campus because he'd be pestered by police and then he'd have a go at me for getting police involved in things he could have 'sorted out'... More like just mediate, apologize, get out of his office and get bullied again. >_>
     
  6. davo-man

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    I feel so bad for you. I (along with the majority of the people in the world) have also been subjected to forms of bullying in my life, but my advice to just to remember that in 4 years you're never gunna see those people again. I know 4 years sounds like a long time, but it really won't take that long.

    Also, I personally think those self-defense classes are a good idea, and you should head on back to them, cos theyre meant to be great for you self-confidence, which can be severely damaged when you're being bullied.

    And remember, when you have incredibly sh*t days, youc an come on back here, cos seriously, this place is like a big family, where you can just escape for a bit.

    I hope things get better, and that the "higher ups" get off their high horse and help you out. Good luck, and ill see you round (the forum i mean)
     
  7. beckyg

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    Inthecloset.......your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. If nobody in your school will help you, you should seek out an organization like the ACLU (maybe somebody in Australia can help with an organization there) and sue their ass. This is not okay, EVER for student officials to let this happen. Do you have ANY trusted teachers there that can help you?

    Also, you should work with a therapist to learn to deal with these types of people. I recently took a class on bullying and just improving your posture, standing straight and tall, and showing people you are proud to be who you are will help. Talk to your parents about getting into some therapy with somebody who specializes in this type of thing.

    If you PM me where you are located, I will try to do some research on some organizations that might be able to help you. This is not okay and you should not have to endure this harassment. (*hug*)
     
    #7 beckyg, Sep 13, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2007
  8. Jim1454

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    This makes me SO MAD!!!You should not have to put up with this!

    The staff at your school should definitely be doing something for you. Here's my suggestion:

    Keep a log of every event, every single one (name, location, time, what happenede, etc.). Pass it on to the school administrator on a daily basis, and let them know that you're keeping track by keeping a copy, and you'll be going to the superintendant of schools / school board with this list if action isn't taken at the local level. Also let them know that if action isn't taken at the board level that you'll next be taking it to the local police and media. And likely to a civil rights lawyer.

    If that doesn't cause a stir and get people working for you, I don't know what will.

    You're BETTER than all those people. Not worse. Hold your head high and know that you're right, and they're LOSERS! I bet when you start to show some resiliance in the face of adversity, that you're trying to take control of the situation, you'll find you have some supporters.

    Finding support groups would be a great idea. Even if you live in the burbs, having support by being part of an online 'group' that is local would still help.

    Getting a therapist would also be a great help! And keep your parents invovled as well. They love you, and I'm sure they agonize over the fact that their son is having such a hard time. I know I would! I'm ticked off, and I don't even know you!

    And yes - share what you're feeling in here! Just talking about it takes some of the sting away. You're not alone in the sense that we all have to endure this kind of descrimination to one degree or another.

    Keep us posted on how things are going! OK?!? (&&&)
     
  9. Jim1454

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    btw - I LOVE the pic you've got for your avatar! :thumbsup:
     
  10. 24601

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    I'm sorry that you've gone through this. It's almost inconceivable for me to imagine such torment. Your post made me want to scream and cry. Take the advice of the people who posted before me - they've said anything that I could have thought of. Stay strong... keep coming here. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
     
  11. winter89

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    You should not have to put up with this!!! It is not ok and should never have been let get this far. I agree with Jim that keeping a log of when everything happens and keeping copies of it to show to people could greatly help your case. Keep your parents involved as well. You are their son and they don't want to see you get hurt. It can also help to have adults on your side for legalities.

    Be proud of yourself. Who you are is nothing to be ashamed of. If you portray that you have confidence about yourself and your image, even if you aren't sure that you do have the confidence, you will learn that you can be as confident as you come off to other people. I sincerely doubt that you are 'fugly' and glasses don't make you that way. If you think it will help in your self-esteem however, try to see if you can get contacts. Sometimes having a new image that is more true to who you are can boost your self-esteem as well. Forget your so called friends and find somewhere that you can make new ones that wont act like ***holes. Stay strong! If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to PM me.
     
  12. Jim1454

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    Absolutely. Focus on yourself for a bit! Get contacts, buy some new clothes. Buy some clothes that are even a little 'out there' if you want to! I've had SO much fun lately buying clothes that are out of character for the 'old' me but totally suited to the 'new' me!!! And I feel great wearing them! (And have received quite a few compliments as well! :icon_wink )
     
  13. surfrboykai

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    oh no dude, go to the cops. who gives a shit if you "bother" the higher ups at the school. it's their fuckin responsibility to make shure you have a safe experience at their school. go to the press. let yer entire country know that yer school fully supports their students getting beat up because they don't wanna be bothered with the cops. you don't need to say yer gay or anything, but i really think you should go to the press

    i wish you the best of luck brah. and i'm so sorry you have to go through shit like that
     
  14. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    If he could have "sorted it out", he would have by now. Take the advice of everyone here and go to the cops.
     
  15. Grof142007

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    COPS COPS COPS PRESS MEDIA then move the hell outta there =) *hugs and support*
     
  16. Ilayis

    Ilayis Guest

    All of that is just so wrong!I know when I was bullied,harrassed and threatened to get beat up my counselor said there was nothing they could do and I had to deal with it.What I did was started working out so I could defend myself,but what happened in the process was that after a month of working out and standing up for myself,I gained a lot of confidense,and they noticed!Soon enough I wasn't getting bullied anymore.Maybe that can work for you,but if not,then I hope you find what you need to get through all of that stuff!Good Luck buddy.
     
  17. SpikySpice

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    :icon_sad: Inthecloset, I feel really sorry for you(*hug*)

    So yoru family and you are at the point that chnagign school, it's a good thing to do at first, to start your life all over again, how logn did this happen, becuase you should chnage school as soon as possible.

    Your teachers are so useless, dont wanan offense them but they truely are. The role of the teachers is to teach and protect their kids, especially teh councilors and the principle

    I know you are having the worst time ever, but if you think about it, you shoudl be proud of yourself, because you have made this far, you had the thought of killing yourself, but you didnt, and that is proud, im glad you didnt do it and get over, becaus eyou knwo what, your tears, your sweats, will make you strong.

    And Im sorry about your friends, they are not your friends at all, because liek Becky say, they are your true friends when they accpect you for whoever you are, but you dont have to care, it's their problems, not yours

    Self-deffense is good, i agree with everyone, arrange your time, so you can get back to those classes

    To boost your selfesteem, I agree with Jim, gp out, buy new clothes, shoes, coem up with a make over to feel brand new and to be able to forget about the past.. Honestly sometimes peopel bull others cuz of their appearance

    And remember, this forum is a place to help you, Like Dave said, when you feel down or bitten, just coem here, say whatever you want, a rant or something, to let out your sadness, and im sure we will listen

    And another thing, please be strong, taht is the key right now, but try to avoid fighting at school because that will get you into trouble and will prove to peopel that you are a bad kid or a trouble maker, just walk away, ignoer whatever thsoe bullies say to you, peopel hate to be ignored, and tehy'll give up on you. When you got punch, hit on teh head or whatever, you rather not hittig back, honestly, some peopel think if you let them do it, they will come back for more, but honestly if you ignore them, they'll ignore you

    About making friend, now try to make new friend, if you know that your comign out is one of the factor that makes peopel hate you, dont come out, I knwo it's a hding, but in this case, to have a better life, you should keep your secret, because it may make people hate you more in this case

    So transfer to another school, refresh your mind, start a new life, i hope i dont wnana see thsoe tears in your eyes, and you can be able to sleep at night, k:slight_smile:

    I thought i was teh worst traeted one, but as i take a llok around, I think I still have soem luck(*hug*) good luck with you too, friend
     
    #17 SpikySpice, Sep 13, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2007
  18. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
    (to reiterate the great advice given)
    hun, you need to change schools at the least!! inform the police if you cannot do that!! the higher ups could have more on their hands than just harassment (though its terrible no matter what)!
    Angry personality: WTF!!!?????!!!! Who the FUCK do these people think they are!?!?!?!? Apparently certain school incidents here in the united states does not ring a bell to certain people!?? THIS CAN BE HOW THEY START! (while not the best or even close to best decision)! WTF! (screaming at computer and school faculty!):tantrum:

    (*hug*)
     
  19. gabriel1

    gabriel1 Guest

    Contact the media, the cops, anyone to bring attention to this. You may not only help yourself, but many others.
     
  20. surfrboykai

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    what like, really boggles my mind is that shit like this actually happens. i've never experience any negativity in regards to my bisexuality, and i'm open about it. i've only witnessed something gnarly once. when i moved to florida, there was a FTM transgender that rode my bus. he was beat up once. but like, i don't think it was because he was FTM. matter of fact, no one even knew that he was a transgender.

    he pissed off this group of black dudes, and they like, went to town on him. but like i said, it wasn't because he was transgendered. so yah, i'vew never seen or experienced anything gnarly first hand. it's so shocking that shit like this still happens:tears: