It feels like everything around me is falling and all I wanna do is cry. My sister and her boyfriend are gonna break up and her boyfriend is gonna move out soon. I've recently gotten super close to him and I don't want him to move out. He's really been here for me. He wants to get his own house/apartment but isn't sure if he could afford it. He said that if he could, I could move in with him, which I want so badly. If he can't afford it, he'll have to move in with a friend and there'll be no room for me. My mom and her boyfriend are considering breaking up. They just have too many problems. I hate seeing my mom go through this. Then there's all of my own problems. I'm starting to work on them though. I need to move out of this house or I'll end up killing myself. I'm serious. I love my family but I need to be anywhere else in order to be happy. I just really wanna cry. I know everything going to change soon and it hurts.
This isn't quite the same thing, but for the past few months, I've been watching my mom slowly become an alcoholic, and my bro's girlfriend's family fall apart - so I know how bad it feels when everything's falling apart and there's not really anything you can do about it. And, you know, it's okay to feel bad. If you want to cry, do. It's kind of easier to deal with things going to crap when you're not trying to pretend it doesn't hurt as much as it does. I don't know if this will work for you, but try just checking out for a while - just take care of yourself, do things that make you feel better, anything and everything. Talk to someone you trust, a teacher or counselor or therapist or friend, it doesn't matter, as long as you're not keeping it all in your head, okay? That's what sucks the most. It does get better, maybe not in the same way as it was before, but it does. Things change, and it's totally miserable for a while, and then they level out. I don't know if that helps, but it's all I've got to offer. ^^;
Ok, first of all, anytime I hear someone say "I'm going to kill myself" I suggest you talk to a professional first and get that horribly negative thought out of your head. Now, if it takes moving out from your current environment to be happy, then do it. However, don't just do it because you think the grass will be greener. Make the grass greener in your mind and be happy in yourself. Then wherever you go it doesn't matter. You're happy so that's what matters most. As for liking you sisters boyfriend, there is no hard and fast rule that says you can't still be friends. But be honest with your sister if you decide to maintain the friendship. Finally, be there for your mom but don't take on her problems. Be supportive, but adopting other peoples problems doesn't keep yourself sane. And just be good to yourself.
Hi there! Sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. If you feel that you have to, call a youth help line, such as the Trevor Project, or try talking to a friend. If you feel that you are getting to a point of feeling really down and depressed call the youth help line. If you can, maybe try talking with a counselor about all the things that are going on in your life at the moment. If you need help, ask for it. If you want and need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me or one of the EC advisors. (*hug*) Even though things feel like they are falling apart and keep falling around you, know that things will get better. Every time you feel things get too much for you take a deep breath and try to find a space in your room where you can just sit down and take a time out as it where and relax. Although your sister is breaking up with her boyfriend that doesn't mean that your friendship with him has to end. Maybe talk with him and ask him if it would still be okay if you contact him if and when you need to talk about things. If you think about it, moving out will perhaps accomplish very little because from the sounds of it, you do care also about your mum and what she is going through at the moment. Maybe try being there for your mum, and also let her know what is happening with you. Sometimes, being there and helping each other (so to speak) can be quite reassuring that things will work out but it could also give you a different way of looking at things. Talking about things and knowing how the other person feels can be quite helpful at times. The good thing is that you are working on your problems. Keep working on your problems and make progress on the things you need to make progress on. Doing that will allow you to see that you can overcome any barriers and detours that life is throwing your way at the moment. Once you have come through all of this, you will be stronger and you will also have learned a few things about yourself, that you might have never thought of knowing about yourself. I hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)
Thanks everyone for the advice. It truly means a lot to me. I let myself cry for a while. I just had to let it out. After that I talked to my mom. I told her that I needed to move out. My whole life, my mom and sisters have sheltered me an protected me from ever getting hurt. In order to be happy I need to break away from that. Living like this has slowly pushed me farther and farther into depression and now I need to get away from it all. My mom had a hard time because, like most moms, she's not ready for me to grow up. But she understood that moving out is in my best interest. As for her relationship with her boyfriend, she said that things were better. We talked to my sisters boyfriend and he seems to be ok with the idea of us moving in together. I have some money in my bank account from my dad(long story) that I could use until I'm able to find a job to help pay for the rent. Like I said, I think I really do need to move out and get away from my mom and sisters. Them protecting me is hurting me now. P.s. I'm going to my first therapy session on thursday. I told my mom that I needed it and that I really have to go. P.p.s. I came out to another one of my brothers!! I called him because I wanted to see how my car is doing(it was my dads car but he died so now it's mine). I'm starting to learn how to drive, so I'm gonna want my car soon. Anyways, as I was talking to him, I just told him. He was shocked but seemed ok with it. I could tell he'll probably go through a stage of denial, but whatever. He'll (hopefully) get over it.
