Has anyone else thought about killing themselves? I think about it all the time and it might just be the only way to go! I don't know what to do. I alredy know about the trevor project but I'm afraid to call! I'm in a relationship with a girl and i dont know how to break it off... i made a huge mistake and thought if i went out with her i would turn straight and its been 5 years and i cant break up with her cause i dont have a reason to other than the fact that i'm gay but i dont wanna tell her that... i wanna break it off with her but i cant break her heart but its breaking my heart not to be with a guy that i love!!! maybe suicide is the best answer cause i cant do anything else!!!!!!!
Suicide isn't the answer. Here's my advice to you. Don't commit suicide. So many people love you, and you love them back. Put yourself into their shoes, what would you do if they killed theirself? What would all their friends do? That's what you would be doing to all the people who loved you. You love your girlfriend. Maybe not in the same way as you would with another man, but you do love her. There are many different kinds of love. You respect your girlfriend too. So respect her, show you platonic love for her, tell her the truth. She deserves to know that it wont work. And tell her everything, just pour your heart out to her. She might be upset at first, but she will get over it. And hopefully, she will remain your friend because you respected her enough to tell her the truth. Any problems that come out of it WILL go away eventually. And you will be so much happier once you tell her the truth. I applaud you for making this thread, it takes so much courage to just talk about it. And I hope I helped by not being a cupcake about such a serious topic.
Hi there! (*hug*) If you have suicidal thoughts or think about harming yourself on a regular basis, please seek the help that you need to begin to address the things that are going on in your life and make you feel this way. Harming yourself is never the answer to anything. Please make an appointment with a counselor and seek that help. There is no shame in asking for help in dealing with things. There is also no reason to be afraid to call the Trevor Project Help line. Whenever you think about harming yourself or committing suicide call them and just say, I just need someone to listen and someone on the other end of the line will do just that. Talk about how difficult it is for you to come to terms (perhaps) with your sexual identity fully, and having to talk with your girlfriend of five years about it and that you know that you are meant to be with someone else. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. But know that, even though letting your girlfriend of five years know that you are gay and that you love someone else is going to be hard, somewhere within her she will appreciate your honesty and it is quite possible that she will come around and be supportive of you. It has happened that guys came out to their girlfriends and the girlfriends in turn have become their best friends. Yes, it will take time and it will take some effort to talk to her and to come out to her but doing that can only help you in feeling better about yourself and about your girlfriend. The conversation(s) are going to involve a lot of emotions. But you know what? Displaying the emotions and feelings, and the fact that you still care about her and perhaps still want her to be on your side and be there for you, will allow her to see that you are a wonderful person who put her and him first. By letting her know and talking with her, you give her the chance to move on, and to find someone with whom it will work out. By talking with her, you give yourself the chance, to live your life the way it is meant to be. You give yourself the chance to pursue something that you know is right for you. Make that phone call, and/or make an appointment with a counselor either at your school or in your community. Often times, just by talking about things out loud, things start to make much more sense, and we find ways to deal with them and we also find a path that will help up to move forward. Harming yourself is never the answer. With help, you can get through this. Please seek some help. (*hug*)(*hug*)
You're going to break her heart in any situation. If you were to break up with her and tell her it is because you're gay that isn't going to change the fact that you are breaking up with her. She is going to be heart broken is that a reason to stay with her? NO! My father, who is gay and very happy now, had been with my mother for twenty plus years and had four children, the fact that he stayed with her only made matters worse, not better. You don't have to tell her you're gay but you should definitely dump her. Sure she may hate you for doing it for no reason but better she hate you then love you in a lie for another fifteen years until you can't put on a charade anymore. Also, and I know it sounds selfish but, you need to think about yourself. "its breaking my heart not to be with a guy that i love!!" Only way to solve that is to leave her and try and find that love. Suicide is not an option you can't think like that. Scientifically speaking this is it, this life is all you get, not what I believe personally and maybe not what you believe but you have to consider it a possibility. I used to think about killing myself everyday and it pains me to admit I tried to a few times (not that I failed so much as I just couldn't go through with it.) The reason I couldn't go through with it is because I felt like I wasn't happy and I didn't feel like I ever would be but there may be no reason to believe that tomorrow is going to be a brighter day but if you go around conjuring up a rainstorm then how can you except sun? You get what I mean? You can't give up because do you want to go out and have people remember you as the person who was always upset about something? Don't you want to die happy? You can be happy. Everyone has the ability to make their life better, I refuse to believe that is not true. Not that it is easy for everyone. You for instance won't break up with a girl you don't love because you're worried about breaking her heart but you have to think about what it is doing to you. You have to care about yourself because you are the most important person in your life. I hope I helped in some way although I feel I kind of just dragged the same idea on and on. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
Hey dude, first and foremost, don't kill yourself. The world needs compassionate guys like you. You know you care about her and you know that at some point, there's a guy out there that's gonna love you the same way you love him. That's a lot of caring that you don't always find in people, especially guys your age. If you care for her, let her know. Then let her know how you care for her. It may be different than the way she cares for you. But it's still a feeling of love that you give to her. You didn't have the strength to tell her that you aren't sexually attracted to her, but you have the heart to try and stop yourself from hurting her. You will find someone to love. Maybe not soon, but you will. You already have had a girlfriend for 5 years, a guy will probably see the same great things in you that she does. This is for you buddy (*hug*)
No, suicide is not the answer. Breaking up with your girlfriend will be hard but she will eventually understand if you tell her the truth. Then maybe the both of you can remain friends through all this.
Suicide is certainly not the way to go out. I know how you're feeling, but trust me when I say that attempting suicide won't help, and things can get better if you are willing to work on them. I would assume you've got some other issues going on in life too that you aren't telling us about, judging by your emotions? But if it helps with the girlfriend situation, here's a quote that I don't remember where it came from, and I can never remember the exact words, but the gist of it is there: So basically, it's not fair to you or your girlfriend to keep the charade going. You're unhappy, and she's giving more to the relationship than she's going to get back.
Trust me, killing yourself isn't going to help in any way. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You need to get some help. I can relate. It isn't her's or your fault that you are gay, so why would you kill yourself without telling her. She deserves to know. She would be heartbroken if you did that to yourself. Just don't do it. I seriously know that feeling, like there is no way out, but there is. You just have to make things happen for yourself. Change things yourself. You have a lot of life ahead of you and you deserve to be happy.
Well just because you are gay does not mean you both cant be friends if you going to break up with your girlfriend. Suicide is not the answer to this. SUre it can be really depressing but there are other ways to get through this.
I was there too, so I know how you feel. I could not imagine telling anyone I was gay. Hell, I could not even admit it to myself! I had a wife, kids and a career and thought it would all fall apart if I came out. Ending it seemed like the only option. I am so glad now I did not choose suicide. I talked with a therapist, worked through it and came out. Even my ex-wife is supportive. I am not saying it will be a total walk in the park for you, but once you do it, life can be great. As bad as things seem for you now, please know that they can get so much better. You only have one life. Don’t throw it away. Talk with a counselor and work through things. We are also here to help you here at EC.
DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE! Yes, others here have thought about it. I got as far as having the gun loaded. I refuse to refer to it as a suicide attempt, though, because one doesn't really attempt suicide with a shotgun. With a shotgun, you either do or you don't, and there's no real in-between. As for your particular case, consider this: You love her, at least as one can love a friend, and she presumably loves you. Does she not deserve someone that can love her fully? You may love her as a friend, but she deserves a mate that can love her completely. And yes, it'll hurt now, but it'll be much much better in the long run. Trust me. I had to crush a girl's heart when I came out. Three years on, she's marrying the man of her dreams.
Yes, I have contemplated suicide. Knives looked less like a dangerously sharp instrument for cutting up food and more like saviors that have come to remove me from my lonely life. Don't do it. It is not worth it. The initial extreme pain from this will be temporary.
