You know those people in the city who try to hand out shit? Yea, well I was walking around with my friend (a girl) and some dude starts saying "Young man! Excuse me!" Then I look up at him kind of in shock and he goes "Oops, young lady, sorry!" We just kept walking.... It's happened before (my little cousin who I had never met before turned to my uncle and said "is it a boy or a girl?"). Let's get real here : I wear my hair short, wear b-ball shorts or bermuda kaki shorts, big t-shirts, no makeup ever never ever, I don't shave my legs (I know right? Crazy!) and I know it, you don't know it but I'm telling you anyway, I have a boyish looking face. So..... I ain't hating on the people who mistake me but at the same time, I like the way I dress and I am a girl!!! Part of me is temporarily hurt but I'm also weirdly amused (? lol) when this happens. I WILL NOT change they way I dress and I really don't care what people think. But I was kind of wondering am I borderline being a cross-dresser here? I have never really thought about it before but I dress just like guys and I look the part. I kinda of weirdly like the idea which is freaking me out because I always thought cross dressing was strange (I don't have a problem with it, peeps can do as they please, but I never understood it). Thoughts? Opinions?
Be who you are. i wouldn't call it cross-dressing, but the line between male/female clothes is blurred a bit if you're bio-girl. I mean you're not binding, right? (if you say "wtf is that", then you're not ) growing your hair out would probably end most of the "boy or girl?" questions though, on someone who is giving a "gender=?" , the longer (typically feminine) hair can be enough to push it to 'girl'.
No I don't bind. LOL I really don't have to ^^ but I usually wear sports bras which squish em' a bit. It's funny that you mentioned hair because I have actually been furiously trying to get a hair appointment to get more chopped off. Which is another weird thing for me because I have had this desire increasing since stuff like this has been happening. Kind of like sticking my middle finger up to the people who think that a girl should look/be a certain way.
I get mistaken for a girl on the phone. Which gets really annoying considering I talk to people 8 hours a day on the phone.
As a guy with very long hair (take a look at my pictures and you'll see what I mean), I sympathize with what you are saying. From the sound of it, I don't think you are cross-dressing. I may be wrong, but the way I imagine a cross-dresser is someone who dresses and presents him/herself as an exaggerated version of the opposite sex. From the sound of it, it seems to me like you are just dressing in a way that makes you comfortable, which just happens to be a way most people consider masculine, so if anything, you are just tomboyish. As xCrazyInsanity said, just be who you are and dress as you best think expresses who you are. If someone mistakes you for a guy, go ahead and feel amused; your options are to be amused, offended, or apathetic, so you may as well get a bit of enjoyment out of the situation.
I've gotten mistaken for a girl, namely my mother, all the time on the phone -_- Also once when I was in Ft. Lauderdale with my parents, my mom and I were walking down the street and I had my hat on and this bicyclist who has one of those chair type things attached came up to us and said "hey ladies"....i was annoyed but my mom was pissed...at me because she still denies I'm gay and therefore she's like oh stop walking with your chest pressed out, slouch and such....it frustrates me soooo much...
I have short hair (currently, though I may grow it out) and when I dress in guys' jeans, loose T's, a sports bra and no makeup, I often get mistaken for a guy. It's never bothered me... I always thought it was kind of cool to be honest, though I'm not entirely sure why. I guess I just kind of like the fact that if I want to look like a guy, I'm convincing... and if I want to look like a girl, I can do that too. It gives me a lot of freedom, I guess. And I honestly don't care if people refer to me in masculine or feminine terms... I feel like I have aspects of both, so I guess I feel that either applies. But I do understand where your frustration comes from. People make assumptions based on how you dress... but you have to remember that's just how people are, and always will be. Just dress however you want, and if people refer to you in masculine terms you can either smile and correct them, or smile to yourself and be amused.
Wow, Gamer when you said long hair you weren't lying! And you're right, now at least I will have something to laugh at : ) I see what your saying that a cross dresser is someone who goes a bit more extreme, that thought kind of put me at ease (one less obnoxious label to deal with! LOL). Revan: That sucks that your mom isn't ready to accept that your gay. I think it's kind of silly that she wants you slouch, walking with good posture shows confidence and no one should take that away from anyone.
That's how I feel!!!! I kind of recoiled from it at first but the more I think about it the more I'm okay and even like it. Because really gender doesn't matter to me so much, like having a certain body/build doesn't mean that I have to submit to a certain standard of living/dress/appearance or anything......I feel much better now LOL Although it does bring a lot to mind.....
Same here, other than bra's I don't own any female clothes or make-up and enjoy playing with gender norms. I don't correct people when they call me a boy, (I don't have to, my work colleagues have cottoned on that I don't correct clients and find it highly amusing to watch the embarassment of the person when they drop my name into a question they come up with just to point out that people shouldn't assume), it doesn't bother me either way.
When I was younger, I <3ed when I would hear people asking "Was that a boy or a girl" after walking by. And I still cherish the memory of a trans friend telling me "you do the little boy look really well". Lately I wear a mixed-gender wardrobe: skirt, sneakers, t-shirt and tiny jewelry is my curent go-to look. So nobody is mistaking me for a boy anymore. The points I'm trying to make here are: People *do* read your fashion as short-hand for your gender Embrace your fashion choices It might help for you to ask yourself why their "mistaking" you for a boy bothers you. If you can pinpoint that, maybe you can work past it so that you can just shrug off future comments- or even come to enjoy them! Anyhow, just a thought. But not matter what, don't start changing how you dress just to placate others. Feel free to be you, and hang the comments, imho. And no, I don't think you're cross-dressing. You just prefer more masculine attire. You're a tomboi, chica!
