Feeling odd

Hi there! Although you might be feeling a bit weird at the moment, it might actually help you to figure out as to what is happening.

Sexual identities are fluid and there is a possibility that maybe you swing both ways, which is totally fine. Sometimes it takes a while for us to figure all of our feelings out. A lot of people have straight relationships before they figure out that maybe they have some feelings for the same sex. If you feel a physical attraction to her, then I think it is something worth exploring more. Maybe try figuring out if you feel this way all the time you're around her or if it is just during particular moments.

That said, saying that

it sounds like that you do have a really close emotional bond with her, which is really awesome. That bond that you do have with her could very well be part of the explanation for the feelings that you do have for her. If you look at some of the stuff you have been going through lately, it is understandable that you might feel a much closer bond with her. Maybe she is a constant in your life at the moment which can be really powerful. Sometimes, we form such close emotional bonds with others where the lines between the different types of attractions become blurred. With time you will figure it out.

Try to explore your feelings more and try to understand them better. Every time you do spend time with her, try to take note of all the feelings that you do have for her.

If you can, maybe talk with a friend, or with a counselor about it, just so that you can hear yourself speaking/thinking out loud about it. If that is not an option, you could also call a LGBT help line, and just ask with whom you are talking to that you need to chat/talk to figure something out and you just want them to listen. Maybe hearing yourself talking about it, you might come to a better understanding of what all the feelings mean.

Hope this helps a bit!

 

To add to the above:

One more reason, why you should talk with someone and try to figure out what is happening.

I wouldn't ignore it, because ignoring it and not dealing with it or trying to place it on the back burner in the hopes that it will just fade away could make it even worse down the road. The more you don't talk about your feelings or try to understand them the more powerful they can become. She is your best friend, you want to make sure that you can keep that friendship but also that you come to an understanding of your own feelings. (*hug*)

 

Hi there!

You can explore your feelings by taking a step back from time to time and asking yourself:

What do I feel for her during certain situations?
Is there a difference in the feelings?
Do I have stronger feelings during the time she says certain things, or during times when I go through certain things myself? Or are the feelings constantly there?

You don't have to talk to her or let her know that you do have certain feelings for her at this stage. But when you do get the feelings that you do have, take note of them and then just try to understand them by asking yourself deeper questions about these feelings. In trying to understand your feelings, try to compare the different feelings that you have.

Is there a counselor you can talk to? What about a friend? If these are not possibilities, maybe try calling a LGBT help line or support line. The important thing is that you talk about your feelings and listen to yourself. Doing that can really help you in understanding them better. Even if you don't get a lot of feedback but just knowing that someone is listening to you in a non-judgmental way can really help in making better sense of them. Sometimes, you will get a question asked, which will lead you to think about something you might not have considered before or at least not to the depth that is perhaps required.

(*hug*)

 

Hi there!

Looking for someone and perhaps trying to form a deeper connection with a guy, and seeing how you feel or if you form a similar connection (i.e. a physical attraction and an emotional connection) can offer you some clues and would help you in exploring and understanding your feelings better. Yes, it will take time to find the 'right' person but talking with others and trying to form a more deeper and meaningful relationship with another guy could go some ways in helping you to figure things out.

From the things you have mentioned, such as having an emotional bond, having someone who is there for you, you being there for someone, and having some things in common (and whatever they might be) are also all the things that allow for strong friendships to emerge. These are all the things that often times make friendships great and help us fulfill part of our needs.

In trying to look for a guy, and in trying to take a step back and asking yourself, 'what is that I am exactly feeling for her?" and also talking with someone, be it a counselor or another friend, you will find the answers to most, if not all of your questions.

You already have a couple of clues when it comes to having feelings for girls: knowing that kissing and holding hands with a girl doesn't appeal to you. So maybe look at that, would that still hold when you think about your best friend?

As mentioned above, when we form really close emotional bonds with people, sometimes, the lines of emotional bonds and physical attraction become blurry because a person provides us with everything we are looking for in a relationship. It becomes difficult to separate everything because our emotional ties are so strong that they make it difficult for us to take a step back and have a look at what is actually happening. Now, the more you think about it, and the more you look at the clues from your past that you already have, the more you will be able to understand what all of your feelings mean.

But here is another thing for you to consider. A few days ago, you mentioned of really wanting to have a family. In some ways, spending time with her and her daughter is fulfilling your wish and dream of having that. In some ways it fills a void in your life that you have felt for some time now. The filling of that void can in itself be quite powerful because it fulfills you as a person. Your best friend fulfills that void at this point in time, and that alone could very well help to explain what you are feeling for her. But then you have to ask yourself: what would happen if that would stop? Would I still have the same feelings for her? Would I still be able to see myself (possibly) as her boyfriend?

Going out and trying perhaps to date a guy and see how that goes and what kind of feelings and emotions you develop, could perhaps give you bit of a comparison.

Hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)

 

Hi there!

I think you are onto something here. It is definitely something to keep in mind and perhaps to talk to someone about and looking further into.

Well, part of the idea about dating is to get to know someone better, and trying to form a connection or at least determining if there is a potential for a more serious relationship. Dating or trying to get to know someone closer is about trying to find out how strong a connection you can create with someone. Is there a basis on which deeper emotional and physical attractions can be created? Is there a basis for a more meaningful relationship?

I wouldn't approach it from the perspective "I don't know that any people around here are worth dating" because you know what? It might just turn out that you have a great time with someone who is not worth dating at first glance and you two might just connect.

Yes, it might take a while to find that person with whom you will be able to go on a date. But it is worth trying. If you come to a point where you are interested enough in someone, and want to give it a shot, try it. Trying is half the battle as it were. See, even if the other person says "sorry, I'm not interested" it's okay because you have tried it. But even just asking and perhaps through talking with someone a little bit at first, will give you an idea as to how you feel about other guys and it will provide you with a few more clues and something to compare your different feelings to.

You could try joining a support/social LGBT group or a LGBT social event, if possible. Are there some LGBT related events or social gatherings in your community on a regular basis? If you are comfortable, maybe ask your friend to join you in for extra support.