Two years ago I started becoming friends with one of the outcasts in my school. He was and is extremely intelligent but he was, for the longest time, a complete jackass to everyone around him, after a short time tho he started becoming friends with me for some reason. After a few months he assimilated into my group of friends and wasn't as obnoxious; he finally had a group of friends he could relate to and trust so he started opening up to us. After about a year of being friends with him he told me that he'd tried to kill himself twice already and was on the verge of doing it again before I befriended him, and he was starting to consider it again; he also told me he had drinking problems since like sixth grade. Hearing that completely took me by surprise and I did everything I could to show him he had good friends now and that he shouldn't do take his own life and he managed to get out of his depression again for a time, he still goes into it now but it's not as bad as it was anymore. Anyway to the point of my story. After he had been so open with me about himself I decided I could trust him and came out to him, he was the fourth person I told, but he took it well and pretty much said "So? I don't care, it doesn't change anything." I was so happy on how well he took it and for the year or so he was good about and never seemed to have any issues with it. Well a few months ago he seems to have changed on that. He insists on constantly mocking me and calling me "queer," "gay boy," "queen," "fag," etc. etc. It came out of nowhere and caught me off guard and I wasn't sure what to do about it. After a few weeks of enduring it I finally got sick of it and asked him to stop to which he responded: "You stupid queer you're way to f*cken sensitive get the f*ck over yourself, I'm not gonna treat you nice just because it 'hurts your feelings' in the real world you're gonna be ridiculed for your sexual orientation and the people who do it won't stop just because you asked them so why should I?" I was taken aback by that and wasn't sure how to respond to that so I just backed off and started cutting my connections with him but I can't get away from him cuz some of my best friends are good friends with him so he's always around. He now treats me like I'm stupid and his mocking is getting worse. I miss my friendship with him cuz he always had good advice and was always very helpful but I can't stand this "new him." I don't understand why after over a year of being fine with it he suddenly seems to hate my guts because of it. Being that he's always around me I try to be friendly to him but he very rarely reciprocates. He also has started saying stuff about it in front of other people that I'm not out to and I'm getting really scared he's gonna out me at school; he's already "accidentally" outed me to one guy, but they were fine with it so it didn't really matter. I don't no where this new found hate towards me has come from or why he seems bent on outing me. I just don't know what to do about him. I wanna just tell him to f*ck off and be done with it but considering I'm around him so often and that would probably just make him angrier at me I really doubt that would be a good idea. Ugh... I'm so confused about him... Anyone know what I should do about him??? P.S. sorry that was so long, I sometimes get kinda carried away and ramble
maybe he is gay himself and hates you because he hates himself. either way its his problem. just ignore him best you can.
Wow, that is a really messed up situation! you could try to ask him, or possibly have another friend that you trust (and may be out to already) ask him if you dont think he'll actually answer you. it could be that he's having other problems and taking it out on you or maybe he thinks you like him and is scared. (shrug) if it gets to physical violence, then it is beyond hope! move on to better friends and try hanging out with people that aren't his friends, in the attempt to ignore him!
Wow - I have no idea why he'd do that! To me, based on your (rather thorough) description, it sounds like he's not quite all there. He has suffered with depression for a long time, and has tried suicide twice. Perhaps he is suffering from some kind of mental problem. Because it does seem odd that he'd flip on this issue so suddenly. I know this is rough on you - but I almost feel sorry for him. You're the only person that went out of your way to befriend him when he was all alone, and he's now pushing you away through these actions. That's really pathetic. What do your common friends think of the way he talks to you? Are they ok with it? They shouldn't be!
This guy sounds manic depressive or something. Won't your other friends eventually get pissed at his verbal abuse towards you?
Ouch. That sux (*Hug*) First tho, his reason to NOT make fun of you is that he is your FRIEND!! (or was?) I think he might just be really insecure bout something in his life, not sure. but maybe tell your friends about it and they can help you, because you dont need to put up with this. No one does
Usually he doesnt say it in front of my other friends, occasionally when he does usually they do say something to him about but some times they think he's just kidding around. Most of wat he does say is through IM, muttered under his breath at me, or in classes we have together without my other friends. For instance he and I are both rly good at science and we're both in science olympiad with a few of my other friends but he'd nvr say anything in front of them, he'd wait until we got partnered up for an event and we'd leave to go do research and then he'd start in on me (thank god due to scheduling conflicts he got taken off all of my events)
I would ignore and avoid him as much as possible. Is it possible he could be gay himself and be attracted to you? That could be a reason for the sudden change of heart, that he doesn't know how to come to terms with that and is reacting negatively instead of being honest.
If he ended up being gay I'd be astonished. And if he ended up being attracted to me I would take it as a sign of the end of the world, there's no way. One thing I didn't mention is he says that this one girl in our school made him feel special, he idolizes her, kinda worships her, i guess he kinda stalks her and devotes most of his life trying to impress her. EDIT: reading over everything I've said I think I've made him sound like a lunatic... I guess that wouldn't be to far off tho...
I have a friend who's similar to yours, and from the sounds of it, your friend isn't right in the head. While I won't say that he isn't gay, I don't think this sudden change is a reason to suspect that he is.
honestly it could be that he is also gay and is just having a hard time dealing with it and is taking it out on you because he knows you're gay. thats the only reason I can think of that would cause him to all the sudden after a year start being mean to you, the possibility of him being gay would also explain why he was an outcast and why he has dealt with depression a lot. Maybe you can somehow talk to him?
