I'm 18 years old, my name is ariel. I'm a lesbian. I've known ever since i can remember. That's pretty deep in my past memories too...It all started in pre-k. See? That's pretty far back. i never really came out till i was like 13. My parents freaked. I got lectured, sent to the priest of my church. I mean, it was... hard. I went through so much that i finally at one point dated guys. Now, i'm 18 just in a new relationship after a three year relationship that ended in disaster. I was with this girl who left me for someone else. Worst part, my parents hated her and i stood up to them to be with her. We got engaged and the next thing i know she's gone. Fell, in love with someone else. I was horribly distraught. NOW my parents dont want me even dating anyone so i can't tell them about the girl i'm with who makes me so happy and helped me through a lot. I dont know what to do. They always want to avoid talking about their feelings, or letting me tell them any part of my life and it makes me wonder whether or not i'm doing the right thing. I mean I care about her a lot, and i dont want to put her through not being able to tell my parents but i dont know what to do. Help???? Please??? It's gotten really bad that now i just wonder whether or not i'm doing the right thing and being with a female...
I'm not sure what you mean by the "right thing." Do you mean displeasing your parents? Or do you have your own ethical or moral questions about who you are and what your choices are? Peace, Mike
Maybe your parents were upset with your last girlfriend because they sensed that she was fickle so they were trying to protect you. That might be why they are "banning" you from dating now. If you think that's the case, then maybe you should tell them about your new girlfriend, because this way you can show them that you are capable of a happy, stable relationship. Then again, if they do not want you to date because they are against your dating women, I would refrain from telling them. In any case, if you do tell them, I would keep the disclosure very short and sweet. Just state that you're in a new relationship, are very happy, and are only telling them because you do not want to keep secrets from them. That way you can prove to them that you are taking a mature approach to the situation. If they do start reacting badly, avoid arguing with them. Here's wishing you luck. I'm pulling for you!
Hey (*hug*)s for you. I think its difficult, its never easy coming out to parents however accepting they maybe. You sound like you have been through a lot. I agree with what Ana T says that maybe you should tell them you are in a new relationship but just keep it short and sweet. Having said that though you know your parents best, if you think that is going to cause you lots of trouble then maybe not, is it possible to introduce your girlfriend to your parents just as a friend ( I know its not easy or ideal) but that way they could get to know her and see how lovely she is and how she helps you and then over time once they have accepted her and got to know her you can break the other news. The other option is not to tell them about her at all but that all depends on whether that is possible and how your family works. Im sure some other people will comment and come up with some good advice though.
Thanks everyone for the advice. The thing is my parents do know that she is my friend, and that she cares about me. I have tried to bring up the possibility of having another girlfriend and they just yell. It's just complicated because growing up it was always i couldn't be alone with a girl because they knew i was gay, i mean i coulndn't even have friends over or they would start to interrogate them to see if we were involved. I will think more about the advice that you have all given me and see if i should just say i'm in a relationship. Maybe that would work out, maybe it wont. I'll still see what i can do. I dont want to keep secrets from them because well its hard for me. Thanks again everyone ^_^... i really do feel like a weight is being liften off my shoulders just from being here ^_^
