My story of coming out is based in this realm, but I mean it as a general question here: When you're ready to come out in a large community (the only one I can think of right now is a high school), do you think it's better to make a big announcement when everyone is congregated, or let it spread around so that more and more know, then confirming it as individuals ask you about it? When I was ready to come out in high school, I had the tools to do so on a huge scale: we had an all-school meeting twice a week where regular students made announcements about anything. We also had a chapel program where you could speak in front of the entire school about anything within reason. But I chose not to take either of those two roads for the fact that I didn't want it to seem like it was for attention. Obviously it wasn't, but I didn't want to take that risk Also, I felt that maybe it would seem like I'm pointing at myself, saying "look at me, this is what I'm going through." I told my best friends instead. Apparently there was a leak and more found out. Eventually I was told that the entire school knew. No one came to ask me about it though, which I felt was weird. As it turns out, when Boston PFLAG came to my school, and I spoke to the freshmen and sophmores, none of them knew (I spoke to them as if they did because that was what I was told). There was no huge leak. So I did get my large scale coming out after all, as everyone knew the next day (it was the Thursday before graduation actually). What do you guys think? Better to set the record straight at once with everyone (even if no one suspected you) or slowly through word of mouth, then confirming it as people asked you? I wish I came out earlier in my school, as no one had done so in at least 6 years; it would have gave the other closeted folks in my school an example as to how the school would react to someone doing it.
I would of taken the slow spreading around approach but I think it more relys on your personality. I'm typically shy and not a good public speaker so I would told a few people and maybe one or two that I knew were gossips so it would of eventually reached everyone. Anyways congratz on coming out to your whole school with one showing though even if it was a few days before graduation! That took courage even if you thought everyone knew because nobody actually confirmed it with you so you couldn't be 100% on people's knowledge on the subject.
I'm all for telling people individually and letting it spread. Telling a community at large smacks a bit of grandstanding, and I think sort of slights those closest to you by making them find out via "press release". Lex
The freshmen at my school congregate for a day in November called "Names Day" and either ask people to stop bothering them or others or apologize for hurting someone else. When I was a freshman, one girl took that as her opportunity to come out as a lesbian.
I would never tell a big community, it's not like it really matters if every human out there knows you like the same gender - it's not a big deal, you don't have a life-ending disease. I just tell my closest friends and family and anyone else that needs to know.
This is basically what I did, and I received good reactions. I told my close friends, some of which knew LOTS of people, and I'm sure they told at least a few of them. That's a good thing though, saves me the trouble. When people would ask me (which wasn't that often, but I guess people were curious and didn't think I really was) I'd be up-front with them about it. A simple yes and that's it.
I just told the people who I wanted to know. There's no need for everyone in the world to know my sexuality. Plus, if you make a big deal out of it, people will think it's a big deal.
