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Moving out on my own

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by BasketCase, Jul 25, 2010.

  1. BasketCase

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    In about a months time I will be (probably) moving into my own house. I've been lucky enough to be put in a position where I have come in to some money and have a deposit to buy the house and with a salary that should be enough to enable me to comfortably cover mortgage repayments.

    So I am in a great position and one that I am hugely thankful for. I havent done anything to deserve this money.

    I'm nervous as hell though about this upcoming change. I've never lived alone before. Never really had to look after myself for any significant period of time. I've never had to do the 'daily' clothes washing/ironing etc.

    I've never really had to budget. Plan meals for the week.

    When I am out on my own there will be nobody to stop me burning the house down when I have had a few drinks.

    I could end up feeling insanely alone.

    I feel I have to move out on my own now though. I cant just maintain the status quo forever. And if I dont put the money to use I will just waste it on booze and impulse purchases.

    I dunno why I have made this post. Guess I just want to express it somewhere as I dont feel ready to say it to anyone face to face yet.
     
  2. EWU2012

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    Why don't you try to find a roommate to live with you(if it is more than one bedroom). It can help offset some of the mortgage payments and give you company as well. Just a thought.
     
  3. Blondie

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    I agree find a room mate
     
  4. Lebowski45

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    I think all change can make you nervous just becuase its stepping into the unknown. Yes, you'll have to learn to do all the chores etc. but you'll pick that up no bother. Its a strange thought knowing that you have to run your own place, but also a liberating one. You're truly independent. As for feeling lonely, I imagine this won't be too much of a problem as long as you're seeing family and friends regularly.

    I'd say just go for it and see what it's like. If you didn't like living alone you could always try getting someone else to move in later on. But I'd say it is better to do something positive with the money rather than waste it. And moving out is something the vast majority of people will have to do at some point in life anyway. It might make you nervous and unsure, but its also an exciting new phase in life.....do what you want to do, but I wouldn't be scared to move out. Its just another chapter in life
     
  5. alan t

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    Good luck with your new house! :slight_smile:
     
  6. BasketCase

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    It is something I have thought of. Hopefully that is somethin I can do. There is a second bedroom.

    In my clearer moments that is how I am thinking of it. A new chapter. I'll either sink or swim.

    Thank you.

    One other thing I didnt mention which has been playing on my mind.

    My mum is in a bit of financial trouble, although she has made plans to get herself out of this trouble, if she loses her job then it will all go south. This only came to light after I had made the offer on the house and it was accepted. Now I feel like if I hadnt already committed this money that I would be able to pay off her debts. It feels like I am being selfish.
     
  7. Walolas

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    The debts are her's to pay and not yours. She made the life choices to get them. And if she wanted help with them she should of asked you. Don't worry about her, just focus on YOUR future now.
     
  8. malachite

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    living alone can be a little intimidating at first, but it is also very liberating. You're in charge of what you do and where you go now.

    If you're feeling lonly see if there is a friend who can stay over a few nights
     
  9. Lexington

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    You'll swim. Pretty much everybody does. The only suggestion I'd give is, for the first several months, err on the side of caution. It's tempting to want to "stock up" on everything, but it sucks if you're stuck at the end of the paycheck with a house full of ketchup, mayo, olives, and paper towels.

    Lex
     
  10. Filip

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    You’ll do fine, I’m sure of it. Note how lots of people eventually move out on their own, and yet there aren’t daily food riots, fires and general mayhem in the city. Which proves that most of them deal just fine, as will you.

    And don’t feel guilty about your mom’s debts. She’s an adult, and you are too. You deserve to go on with your life and gain some independence too, and you can’t be expected to just be on hand to buy off other people’s debts. You can still be there for her in other ways.

    A couple of things that helped for me, when moving out:
    - Writing down all my incoming and outgoing money for the first couple of months. This gives a good idea of the cost of living, and of what you can spend above normal spending or need to cut back on. It’s a bit of bookkeeping, but it helps in getting to know hidden costs you might not have noticed otherwise

    - Getting a calendar and some kind of scheme for chores set up. Which day is grocery day? Which day is cleaning day? When do you do the laundry, etc… Like the financial side, it helps to have a good grasp at what time you need to sink into chores

    - If you aren’t too used to cooking, start simple. I have developed some good recipes for charcoal by being too ambitious at the start :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    And like Lex said, err on the side of caution. 2 years after striking out on my own, I still have two bottles of dishwashing detergent I bought on my first shopping run…
    On one thing, I disagree with Lex. Paper towels are something I always run short of (though I'm a bit of a cleanliness fanatic in the kitchen and behind my desk).

    I'm sure you'll do great, though!
     
  11. BasketCase

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    Thanks to everyone who has posted on this thread. It's been good to hear what has been said. Like I said in my opening post I just wanted to get some things out of my head and onto 'paper' so this thread has been really useful.

    Regarding the two posts I have quoted, it's funny, for a while I have been doing dry runs with online shopping (Grocery rather than electronics etc.) and have been trying to be sensible by buying washing powder, detergent etc. and I have probably been putting far too much in the basket.

    On the good side though. I like pasta and rice dishes a lot so those things keep and are pretty easy to make.

    I've no doubt it will be better than I think it will be. I've got through everything in life up to this point. I just need to keep doing the same.
     
  12. Lexington

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    You got it right there. Many of our large problems are actually just a ton of little problems all bundled together. As you deal with each one, you're dealing with the large one.

    Lex