I still have not come out to my dad or anyone else in my family. Everyone's so religious, and I believe in God, but I'm not religious. Everyday of my life I feel like I'm looked upon in judgement by my sister because she's the only person I came out to in my family. The other day some girl asked me if I was a "Lesbo" and I got offended @ the word, because it sounds like she was trying to make fun of me. Another issue I have with being a Gay girl, is that it's harder to find a girfriend because you never know when a girl is actually gay. No matter where you go... The only time is if you were to go to a gay bar or something.. :/ Thats been the hardest part thus far. Anyways, like I was saying, my dad HATES gay people, he talks so much crap and does not know he is in the presence of one. What should I do? Should I come out to him?
I would say come out to him but only if you are confident he won't kick you out if you still live at home, retract any financial aid if he is paying for anything for you, or you know (God fordid) he won't cause physical harm to you in any way. If you know for a fact those three things won't come to pass I would say let him know so he can truely know his own daughter.
Hey honey, I totally understand the stress you're enduring. I too have similar problems. I would recommend not coming out to your father right now, since he strongly opposes homosexuality. You should wait until you are more financially dependable to live on your home, if you fear he may kick you out of the house. It can be really hard for parents to open their mind and see that homosexuality is not wrong. I mean, seriously, would it hurt for them to just be a little bit more opened minded and accepting? Also, remember that there is no time limit to when you can come out. So don't feel like your obligated to come out to everyone just because you've already told your sister. You should come out when you feel is the right time, when you know that you will be safe. And don't worry, honey. You'll find the right girl. It'll take time before you begin to meet more lesbians. A lot of women chose not to express their homosexuality (like many men), so it's not something you'll see written on their foreheads. Just go to local LGBT community centers and nightspots and make some friends, from their you could build a relationship. Good luck, dear.
Thank you so much for your kind words. They are very soothing, First off, today, I came out to my dad about being a vegetarian. He has been buying meet all of this time, I don't eat it, and havent been eating it. So he threw a HUGE fit about that. I am over everything, life is becoming so depressing for me. For now, I am stuck in the house forever. I made a mistake and threw away my Social Security card, my birth certificate AND my state id. I feel like such a failure. To top that off, I'm so so so lonely. I have never been this lonely in my whole entire existence. I really want to be in a relationship, but can not get to a place where I can meet mature lesbians. I have dreams and goals to like to get married and stuff. It's hard. It really is. A lesbian bar is not really the place I'd look for a girlfriend at. Thanks for both of your answers, they really do help me.
Sorry to hear things aren't going so well at the moment. I know what it feels like to be stuck in the closet and consequently feeling down and alone. I would agree with the other posters about not coming out this now though. Your dad doesn't sound like he'd react well to it. I mean he didn't react well to you being a vegetarian so, what would he be like if you came out as a lesbian? If you fear being rejected, stopped being supported financially or even kicked out of home, its best to keep quiet for now. It may make you unhappy but you could feel much worse if one of these things were to happen. You're not a failure, you're just going through a rough time at the moment. You said you have goals and ambitions so think positively about going about achieving them, they aren't out of reach. I don't know your situation but it sounds like you'd be better off living in your own home, supporting yourself. If thats not possible right now then you can plan ahead for moving out in a year or so's time, and just put up with things for now. Then you are free to live your life, and if you want to come out to your parents you can without the fear of losing support etc. As for all your ID stuff, is there no way you can get these things replaced? And as for meeting another girl, well I think a lot of lgbt people have the same problem, but maybe the internet has something to offer, though I don't know....... Good luck anyway And don't despair, think positively (nomatter how hard that can sometimers be) and things will work out in the end
If you need those three things you can always petition government offices for new ones. Birth certifricate copies should be at the hospital where you were born so you can get a new one there. And if your dad couldn't see you were a vegetarian and reacted like that then it is probably best not to come out to him until you can find your own place once you regain your proper papers. It will take time to do this so just try to keep going one day at a time. As far as a relationship goes, perhaps for now at least it is not a good idea for one. Since you are still closeted and living with your dad and judging from the fact that just you being a vegetarian set him off maybe is a good idea not to try and hide a girlfriend from him. Just put off telling him until you can get your own place or if you find someone so special you want to move in with them and they also want you to move in so if he has a seriously bad reaction you can just move out of the house.
