Do Mom's know?

Do you not want her to know?
Do you think your mom and aunt
and other family members talk about it
in secret?...

 

It's possible she coulda figured it out or someone told her. On the other hand she might be getting suspicious with your lack of a girlfriend and just might be close to figureing it out. Otherwise maybe she was just uncomfortable with your extended family asking about her own child's love life and afraid maybe you had a secret lover you were gonna tell about that she didn't know about and would be shocked to learn when the relatives came over and not before hand.

 

Yeah I think some mom's know or at least suspect but if your mom does know I doubt she has a problem with it or she would have brought it up by now.

My mom had an idea for awhile before she confronted me about my sexuality but she wasn't certain.

Is it really such a bad thing if your mom does know your gay? do you have any reason to think she would react badly?

 

yeah. moms have powers. mine knew around the time i figured it out in middle school..although she let me have my space until i told her last year.

no reaction is better than a bad reaction. it means she either knows or suspects but doesnt want to force it, which generally means she doesnt think it's a cardinal sin or something that needs to be remedied.

 

She may know or maybe she just wishes you were dating a girl. Either way, I would try not to worry.

But I do agree that mom's usually know or at least subtly suspect. I think my mom suspects it, but I dont know if she actually KNOWS.

 

She might suspect. But know that if she does, it sounds like she won't have much problem with it.

Lex

 

My mother somehow knew since I was young. I'm not particularly masculine or feminine (though if I had to pick one I'd say I'm more masculine.) She said that she just knew. She said that I was different from other children.

 

I feel like moms always know on some subconscious level. It's just a matter of how much they let come to the surface.

It'll be easier for you to come out to her if she's already thinking about it.

 

In my case, right before I came out, I was sure my mom already strongly suspected. She had stopped mentioning girls. She even talked about “the person you’ll bring home” once. I mean, who uses “person” when talking about that except as a hint? And she defended my lack of girlfriend against my grandparents.
So while I was still nervous, I was pretty confident I would just confirm a suspicion she already had.

But then, when I came out, it turns out that she had no idea (though I’m taking her at her word for this. She might just have suspected without consciously allowing herself to think about it).
My brother, on the other hand, had some suspicions, but never gave any hints…

If you’re thinking about coming out to people, this idea is influencing what you do or don’t notice about how they act. Which makes it terribly hard to say whether people are suspecting, or whether you’re just seeing what you want to see.

The good thing is that it doesn’t sound like she’d have a big problem with it necessarily. And it’s probably better to spend your time planning to come out, rather than spending it wondering about what she does or doesn’t suspect.

 

In my case, my mum has had a sixth sense about everything in my life, but she was as shocked as everyone else when i came out.

My biggest problem was that after coming out to my mum, we both found it very difficult in situations like the one you describe, because we were both very comfortable with me being gay, and so sometimes we forgot that some people didn't know.

In the end i came out to the rest of my family over time as well, but my advice would be to ask your brother and sister about whether she knows, but don't accuse them off telling her, just ask for their opinion and then take it from there, because chances are that she could feel hurt that you didn't tell her in the first place.

 

Pfft, mine knew that my boyfriend and I were a couple way before I told her >__> Then again, I did inherit my psychicness from her, so I guess it's good to see where that comes from.

 

Yes, moms know. When I was coming out, I didn't even have to say it, as my mom filled it in for me. Then she was like, of course I knew. I've known since you were 12.

 

I think mothers have a really strong connection with their children, so they kind of pick up on it. I mean, my mother has been making so many hints about my sexuality. She'll often be like "Quinn, when will you bring a boyfriend or girlfriend home?" I would look at her and she'll quickly cover up and say "I mean, girlfriend".

 

Pretty sure they have a good idea of what goes on. When I came out my parents said it wasn't a complete surprise, so there must have been at least an inkling.

 

I laughed when I read your post because your mom sounds exactly like my mom.

It used to be that every time I came home from college my mom would ask "do you have a girlfriend?" but about two years ago, she completely changed her language and now asks "do you have a partner?" and began using words like "person" instead of "girl".

I don't know that my mom necessarily thinks I'm gay, I just think that she doesn't want to assume that I'm into girls. I've kind of been dropping subtle hints that I might not be gay so that it's not a complete surprise when I tell her.

 

sounds like she might.

 

Seems like your mom might have a feeling you are. It came completely out of the blue for my mom even though I was dropping hints before, albeit subtle. But the most important thing is her support for you.

 

Not all mothers know.
Mine is totally oblivious.