My problems at home with my mom are growing and I can't take much more before I snap how I did this morning. We've been having problems for quite some time and it won't be going on much longer before something either ends it or something drastic happens. My mom's drinking has been getting to become more of a problem lately since she's had her baby and is able to drink again, and with that came her personality changes as well. She's been raging on me a few times and it hasn't been bad for the most part except for what it led to happening this morning. My mom, her bf, and two of my bros all live in one two bedroom apartment with one bathroom. With that being said, we all use the same shower/bathroom. Yesterday she took her bath as normal and the tub was filthy afterwards and on top of already being tired, I didn't feel like cleaning out the shower before AND after I took a bath again like I've had to do 5 times already this week. So when I got out, I didn't bother cleaning it which leads to this morning. Mom's bf begins cleaning up the house and starting his normal...complaining (eh, not gonna use the other word), which I ignored. Then he sees the tub and asks my mom did she clean it after she bathed yesterday to which she replied no, but says I had to have showered after her as well. He calls me to the bathroom and I told him that I wasn't going to keep cleaning a shower before and after I finished because she wants to be lazy. The dude then went into almost some sort of 'roid rage screaming at me saying she doesn't have to do anything at all and I should be cleaning up after everyone and not just myself. Another funny thing was he blamed me for there always being urine on the floor around the toilet saying that it's all due to me because I stand up to urinate while he sits down (like a woman). My mom and everyone else close to us knows that my younger brother has a bed wetting problem along with a problem of holding his bladder until the second it's about to burst then running into the bathroom which leads to the urine to which she sat there letting him blame me for as well. Long story short, the argument went on for a bit and the entire time my mom sat there not saying a word. That is until about a few hours later when she began agreeing with him saying that I should clean up behind everyone yet if I dare to forget one thing that I messed up by myself (whether it be a simple pot in the sink of dishes or anything at all) they instantly begin screaming at me the minute they see it. I can't deal with this kind of crap anymore and now I'm just waiting for her to finally be at home with me while her bf is gone so I can finally call her out on how she let's just anyone say/do whatever they want to her kids yet in front of anyone else, she always brings up that she stands up for her kids no matter what which, in my opinion, is total bull. I also plan on finally telling her face to face about my sexuality as well since it seems she's pretending to have never read the letter I wrote telling her about it. I guess what I'm really trying to ask is does anyone have any ideas on what my options could be? I'm seventeen and although I know I only have one year legally left to be here, I don't think I can make it through that full year. I've tried thinking of everything I could possible so far and the only thing I've come up with is emancipation. I know it's somewhat hard to do but would me already being seventeen increase my chances of it going through? I'm also finally getting away from hiding my using of EC on the computer as well instead of downloading Firefox to use EC then clearing the history and deleting the program before they notice. Idk, I've been dealing with my sexuality and finally getting it through my mom's head so I feel somewhat proud of doing this. :eusa_clap Thanks for any help.
I would think at age 17 it would be pretty easy to get emancipation especially if you can prove that the living enviroment that you are in does not bold well for your well being. However, proving that might get the government involved in the family since you have two younger brothers and a new born (if I am understanding that right) so yes your own health and well being are to be focused on here but what about your siblings? How do you think your mom and bf will react to your siblings if you leave and get the social services on their asses? It doesn't sound like there is any physical violence going on but I recently had SS called on me for almost no reason so it seems if the government even thinks an issue might be present they might step in. I'm not entirely aware of the status of being emancipated but I am almost sure you will have no financial aid from your parents since you are most likely of working age. Do you have a job to pay your own bills with? How about your own place to stay once you leave their care? Also about the letter, are you sure she read it? How do you know maybe someone didn't find it first and either read it then threw it away or just threw it away for some reason? If you want to get emancipated I would set up a place to stay and have a job ready to pay for things before going through with it. Otherwise I would just deal with the family for one more year and then move out once I was able to. Either way though if you think your mom already read your letter I would confront her on her thoughts of it so you can start being more open about yourself and you will know what she thinks about you. Who knows, maybe confronting her can lead to the discussion about her standing up for her kids and her drinking and (if i remembering right from an older post) smoking problems. Just my thoughts on it... Use them as you wish...
Well, I obviously don't know the entire story, and maybe I'm missing something I shouldn't be. But I really don't see this being any cause for emancipation. I've never been in this particular situation, of course, but as the middle kid, I remember being stuck in what seemed like slave mode. My brother was often excused for various reasons (he couldn't mow the lawn because "it makes him sneeze" was one thing that drove me batty), and my sister was significantly younger, but gee, here's that middle kid source of labor. Get on it, gargoyle. At least, that's the way it felt at the time. In retrospect, it probably wasn't as bad as all that, although I still think I got stuck with the lion's share of it all. So what did I do? Well, sadly, it took me until JUST before I moved out before I finally learned how best to handle the situation. I just did it. Seriously. I just did what they wanted. I occasionally pointed out what I felt was the unfair division of labor, but still, I just did it. Then I spent my time and energy on working on getting out. At which point, it was my home and I could do as much or as little cleaning as I saw fit. And my parents were out a free source of labor. You're not there yet, of course. You've got at least another year of it. So be it. Roll up your sleeves and get that crappy work done. And keep your eyes on the prize - getting out. At which point, you'll be in charge. Lex
There's no way I can handle cleaning up this whole house just because they decide to be lazy and her bf thinks she's a queen and shouldn't touch anything at all. I'm also the middle child (one older brother that's been moved out along with now two younger brothers on her side). I'm all for keeping a house clean, but I'm not going to act like some slave and clean up behind everyone just because she's too much of a sellout to stand up to her bf. SS wouldn't be a problem either, they've been out like 3 or 4 times so far since everything began going downhill about 7 years ago. At least this time, she can't force me to lie to save her ass. Days of taking away my video games are long gone . I'm currently looking for a job at the moment so that I can begin having some sort of income of my own. Hoping to get a call within the next week or so or I'll have to put in more applications. As for the letter, I know she read it. She made a slight hint at it in a joke about two days later and I left it on the seat of her truck (I had been sitting on it) when she dropped me off for school one morning. While I was putting on my backpack after getting out she asked me was that my paper on the seat and I said it was for her, not me. After she picked me up with her bf from school that day she was acting a little strange for a bit so I'm almost positive she read it, even if she did return to normal within a few minutes.
