1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

crush on a guy who is open... unlike me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ivyjock, Jul 25, 2010.

  1. ivyjock

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Male
    So I'm not out. I have officially come to terms with my sexual orientation (bi) and am finally okay with it. Good steps, I deserve a cookie haha. But I'm still not ready to come out to my family. Whats funny is I'd be fine with coming out to my friends, just not my family yet for whatever reason. Ok thats the background for the story.

    So I wrote on my friend's facebook wall and notice a guy below my post. He said something funny, so I clicked on his profile just to see who he was. I start to "stalk" him haha and now I have a minor virtual crush on him... he seems really funny, cute, great personality. And to top it off, he is really cute. To top off the top off he is a college athlete like me. Yay.

    I really want to to talk to him. We only have one mutual friend. I'm sure we might know of a couple mutual people, but from what I can tell (and what facebook tells me) we only know one mutual person.

    Dangers of friending or messaging him? Bad idea/creepy? Would y'all be weirded out if someone who was still not out messaged you about it? Thanks guys
     
  2. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I certainly don't see any issue sending him a friend request. If he isn't interested, he'll just deny it - no big deal. But I do see three major hurdles.

    1. You don't say if you live in the same area.
    2. You're not out.
    3. And despite all your "on top of that"s, you didn't include the big one. "On top of that, he's gay."

    Which, if all these things are as I'm guessing they are, you'll be crushing on a straight guy many miles away from the closet. Which very rarely ends well.

    Lex
     
  3. ivyjock

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2010
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Gender:
    Male
    oh i forgot that one. The best part of my day was when i went to the info tab and it said he was interested in men
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    OK, at least you've got that going for you. :slight_smile: In that case, sure, send him the friend request. If he wants more info as to why you want to friend him, (metaphorically) shrug and say "I dunno. It was cool to see another college athlete who actually has a sense of humor/seems able to hold a good conversaton/whatever." See where it goes from there.

    Lex
     
  5. dude99

    dude99 Guest

    go for it and add him as friend and send him an message too.
     
  6. brian105

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2009
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, Georgia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    OMG!!! You should really add him and say something cute when they ask you if you want to send a message with your friend request.
     
  7. george678

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2008
    Messages:
    866
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England
    Go for it! Most people who date have no mutual friends!